Workplace spouse

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oink

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You usually hear people talking about "workplace spouse".....do people on here have a workplace spouse, and are they the same gender as you? Why do I ask? A lady told me today that her 'workplace spouse' is a female because they have a lot in common, but she is not as "conservative" as her

Just curious
 
My place of employment has relatively a small number of employees (there are only 10 of us that work at my location, but the corporation is much larger). We are all very, very close. I have 2 managers that work under me, which happen to be partners. It has been a long time gag, that when we work, me and the male are partners and his partner has another bf in our staff... it is silly really, but it is something that often helps us get through the days having as close of relationships as we do.

A few months ago, me and my other managers were at a meeting with other managers in our corporation. One of the other managers asked our boss, how long me and this guy had been dating for... the rest of us had a good laugh, because for the past 3 years he really thought we were a couple.

I think in most work places we all do silly little things that get us through the day. We work directly with the public on a daily basis...sometimes it is very handy having that "workplace spouse" when you are dealing with some rather forward people.
 
oink said:
You usually hear people talking about "workplace spouse".....do people on here have a workplace spouse, and are they the same gender as you? Why do I ask? A lady told me today that her 'workplace spouse' is a female because they have a lot in common, but she is not as "conservative" as her

Just curious
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I admit it is an odd term.

I had one that was the same gender, then he started to work from home and my newer one is female. We go for coffee, talk about work, families, significant others.
 
I guess it's all fun and games, until infatuation creeps into it, and then eventually the S word? It always helps to remember that other saying...."don't $h1t where you work" ;)
 
oink said:
I guess it's all fun and games, until infatuation creeps into it, and then eventually the S word? It always helps to remember that other saying...."don't $h1t where you work" ;)
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It can work just fine, if you are capable of not seeing everyone of the opposite sex as a potential sexual partner.

My workplace spouse has a "real" spouse, who I've met, who knows I am friends with his wife. He is a nice guy, they are a good couple.

There isn't anything sexual about the concept.
 
I've had a couple over the years. The most interesting one was a guy I could barely stand mosr of the time in public, but one-on-one we got along great. Kept each other on track and nagged each other incessantly when one of us wasn't on track. His wife and I got on great, I dunno how she puts up with him day in and day out! We all still go for coffee every now and then.

There was nothing even remotely close to sexual, and not disrespectful in any way to either of our spouses. We were just well known for the nagging!
 
Rioe said:
If it isn't anything sexual, then the appropriate term is 'friend' not 'spouse.' Anything else is disrespectful of the people's legal spouses.
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I agree. I think "Workplace Spouse" is a bizarre term, but if a sexual relationship develops (hopefully not if one or both are married) then it is what it is...the name would fit.
 
blinkandimgone said:
I've had a couple over the years. The most interesting one was a guy I could barely stand mosr of the time in public, but one-on-one we got along great. Kept each other on track and nagged each other incessantly when one of us wasn't on track. His wife and I got on great, I dunno how she puts up with him day in and day out! We all still go for coffee every now and then.

There was nothing even remotely close to sexual, and not disrespectful in any way to either of our spouses. We were just well known for the nagging!
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This is exactly how these things work in our office. In fact the first one I can recall using the term was one of the real spouses, and she got along great with her hubby's workplace spouse. The workplace spouse moved away and they still get together when she comes back to visit.

I think this goes to the larger issue of whether or not people think that men and women can have close friendships with people of the opposite gender while in a marriage. Its a contentious issue.
 
DowntroddenDad said:
This is exactly how these things work in our office. In fact the first one I can recall using the term was one of the real spouses, and she got along great with her hubby's workplace spouse. The workplace spouse moved away and they still get together when she comes back to visit.

I think this goes to the larger issue of whether or not people think that men and women can have close friendships with people of the opposite gender while in a marriage. Its a contentious issue.
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Even after being screwed around on I think people can absolutely be friends with the opposite sex. Again communication is so important between spouses. If you are happy then there is no reason to want anyone but your spouse. If one person does have feelings that go beyond friends there is an issue with something in the marriage and they need to fix it by communicating.

Just my thoughts.
 
Rioe said:
If it isn't anything sexual, then the appropriate term is 'friend' not 'spouse.' Anything else is disrespectful of the people's legal spouses.
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Yes I hear you...but I am sure you have heard people use the blatant terms...."work wife" and "work husband"?

I was only trying to be nice about it :D
 
FB_ said:
Even after being screwed around on I think people can absolutely be friends with the opposite sex. Again communication is so important between spouses. If you are happy then there is no reason to want anyone but your spouse. If one person does have feelings that go beyond friends there is an issue with something in the marriage and they need to fix it by communicating.

Just my thoughts.
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True....Communication is key indeed. When people can't even talk about what to have for dinner, or what to do for the weekend, then you know it's bound not to end well.

However....you hear about office romances and people shagging their boss to get ahead. You can't help but wonder how this started, through being a "work spouse" perhaps?

Again....I'll never crap where I work period. Always remember that you still have to go back and work there, or quit when things don't work out
 
oink said:
True....Communication is key indeed. When people can't even talk about what to have for dinner, or what to do for the weekend, then you know it's bound not to end well.

However....you hear about office romances and people shagging their boss to get ahead. You can't help but wonder how this started, through being a "work spouse" perhaps?

Again....I'll never crap where I work period. Always remember that you still have to go back and work there, or quit when things don't work out
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I'm guessing Oink, you've not spent much time in an office environment.

If people are interested in dating each other, they do everything in secret. Whereas your work "spouse" thing is pretty open.

For the record, I've never had a relationship with someone I work with. One date, almost thirty years ago, and I was cured. :)

I have seen them work, one of my bosses married someone he worked with and they are happy together many years later.

On the other hand I've seen an inhouse relationship result in two people getting fired. And I would never be supportive of two people in the same reporting structure dating. Even if their common boss is three levels up, it still doesn't sit right.
 
DowntroddenDad said:
I'm guessing Oink, you've not spent much time in an office environment.

If people are interested in dating each other, they do everything in secret. Whereas your work "spouse" thing is pretty open.

For the record, I've never had a relationship with someone I work with. One date, almost thirty years ago, and I was cured. :)

I have seen them work, one of my bosses married someone he worked with and they are happy together many years later.

On the other hand I've seen an inhouse relationship result in two people getting fired. And I would never be supportive of two people in the same reporting structure dating. Even if their common boss is three levels up, it still doesn't sit right.
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Then you will be wrong in your guess, being that I have worked 20 odd years in an "office environment" both here and in Europe before I took a different path.....

You only know your situation, and my point is based on what I have seen and heard. You and I obviously don't seem to see eye 2 eye on issues, but then again you are the same person that said..."me and my current girlfriend haven't discussed certain red flag issues yet"

I guess you are risk taker that believes things will just fall into place?
 
DowntroddenDad said:
If people are interested in dating each other, they do everything in secret. Whereas your work "spouse" thing is pretty open.
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^^This, exactly.

Having a work spouse is nothing like being in a relationship with a co-worker. There's no hiding anything because there is nothing TO hide.

It's kind of like the boyfriend with boundaries concept that's becoming more popular these days.
 
blinkandimgone said:
^^This, exactly.

Having a work spouse is nothing like being in a relationship with a co-worker. There's no hiding anything because there is nothing TO hide.

It's kind of like the boyfriend with boundaries concept that's becoming more popular these days.
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So you are saying "one night stands/ booty call/ friends with benefits" can't happen between work spouses? Hmmm....I'll like to have that crystal ball when you are done please

All it takes is one moment of madness at the office party, for the conjugation to happen.
 
oink said:
So you are saying "one night stands/ booty call/ friends with benefits" can't happen between work spouses? Hmmm....I'll like to have that crystal ball when you are done please

All it takes is one moment of madness at the office party, for the conjugation to happen.
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Of course it can happen, but that isn't what having a work spouse is about. Of course, that can happen anywhere outside of the office as well.
 
oink said:
Yes I hear you...but I am sure you have heard people use the blatant terms...."work wife" and "work husband"?

I was only trying to be nice about it :D
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Of course I've heard of it. And as you can tell, I dislike it.

The choice of word is irrelevant; it's the concept. It is not a marital relationship, and it is disrespectful to the actual spouses/wives/husbands to refer to it as such.

Words have power. Misuse of words is an abuse of meaning.
 
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