Why does everything feel like a Crisis....

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ConcernenedStepMom78

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Okay guys here we go again.....Called FRO again nothing came back from her "employee" said theres nothing that can be done......Hubby callls employer to inquire about what the heck is going on...Finds out she was temporarily filling a position for an employee who came back to work, they have her listed for casual shifts...but have no casual shifts available...SOOOOO shes unemployed she went From and 86k annual income with benefits and pension to a $0 income in a year and her sole reason for moving 100 km was do to money problems...well now she has NO job NO car.....CAn we file an emerg motion now to get the kids?
 
funny as this sounds,,, no job means more time with kids... it won't be a reason to file...trust me on this.... i was a foster parent for 4 years.... i've seen a lot with the kids I had in my home and the court process the parents went through to get them back... a mother at home is 'good' thing in their eyes.... I'd do a lot of research before filing so you have some solid stuff to back you.
Good luck
 
Well I hav e heard "more time with the kids" can be a weak argument...she lives with her BF in his house that they rent....and last I knoew he was on disability....where is the stability in this...we just found out daughters school wnats her on an IEP...and "mom" is renting vehicles because she totalled her car...how shes doing this with no income....no clue
 
I don't know if a lack of job & car would qualify as an emergency. As long as the kids aren't in harms way, you're going to have to keep on the same course you have been on for the last eon!

Can she still do her own pick/up drop/offs?

Since you have a court order for her CS then eventually she will have to pay it... I know its hard with your immigrating, but you guys are going to have to try not to count on that money. Call it a bonus when you get it. Sucks ): but I just can't see anything that you can do about the situation until you have your day in court.

Cheers
 
UGH...tiral may take another year... How can this happen...100km drives every 2-3 days back and forth to and from school while in her mothers care...It takes me 5 mins to walk her to school in the morning...I am soooo frusterated
 
Get the prinipal's ear. Maybe the school is concerned about the child's readiness for learning each morning. Is the child's attendance record spotless?

The school doesn't want to get involved in custody battles, so tread very carefully.

When my ex refuses to take our son to kindergarten every Monday because it was "her time with him" the school wrote eventually wrote a letter stating that he needs to be in school full time.
 
We have attendence records and we have literacy teacher that gave us reports...but NONE of this has been reason to get our motion heard.....NO they cannot get invved directly but we have report cards and stuff....
 
Your hands are tied until the children are either placed in danger OR you get to trial.

If you go to trial and are allowed to call witnesses, you CAN subpoena the teachers/principal if you need to.

You need to learn to live without the CS. Obviously you can't count on her. She's simply going to incur the debt,though since you are with FRO, she can't sit around indefinitely. Eventually they will suspend her license and start taking other action. (will take MONTHS, but it will happen)

Until then play it by the letter of the court order. Speak with the school and indicate that unless they are informed in writing of the absence, you want a phone call and to have it noted on the student record.

If the child misses too much school, then start pushing for someone to investigate the truancy, and keep pressure on CAS. They are bullshitting you by the way. A court order has NOTHING to do with them being involved or not. If it's a protection issue, then they can get involved. So far, NOTHING you've said is a protection issue.

Hubby callls employer to inquire about what the heck is going on...Finds out she was temporarily filling a position for an employee who came back to work, they have her listed for casual shifts...but have no casual shifts available
Click to expand...

THAT is a huge breach of privacy and she CAN use that against your hubby. Stop giving her ammunition, you are in a good spot and you are handing her things to use against you if she's got even half a brain. All you are doing with that is muddying the waters. You have a court order, you are filed with FRO, it WILL catch up with her.

The wheels of justice are turning (they're slow, it sucks, but it is what is it) and you are sitting in a pretty good spot to secure a custody change.

Her employer could get in a LOT of trouble for releasing that kind of information without her permission.
 
NBD now thats actually odd because FRO will not look into any potential employers without the recipient tipping them off....They said they cannot, but if he tells them he thinks she works somewhere they can investigate it....BUt FRO is barely doing anything either...said if she was on I they could garnish..but shes not on that either....OI
 
I know it sucks and we dont want to be needing to do all this crap either....BUt guess it isnt any sneakier than planting a Bug in the house.....We do not want to complicate things but nothing is getting accomplished either and No we're not really relying on her payments anymore, and yes we have tightened our belst as much as possible but still doesnt mean something shouldnt be getting done....Looking into legal counsel again...cross your fingers
 
Maybe you could try thinking about the CS like this;

She will - one way or another - eventually have to pay. If you were saving that CS for your child then it wouldn't really matter whether you have it at this moment - or in the future. Eventually your child should benefit from it.

For right now I completely agree with NBDad... you can't do anything else to make it happen faster. Gather your evidence... you are in a good postition.
 
ConcernenedStepMom78 said:
NBD now thats actually odd because FRO will not look into any potential employers without the recipient tipping them off....They said they cannot, but if he tells them he thinks she works somewhere they can investigate it....BUt FRO is barely doing anything either...said if she was on I they could garnish..but shes not on that either....OI
Click to expand...

Calling FRO and reporting that you think she is working and where is far different then you calling the actual employer yourselves and and asking personal questions about an employee. I'm surprised they even gave you any information at all, they have no proof you are who you say you are over the phone, besides that - it's just wrong.

I think one thing you need to keep in mind is how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. If the ex was calling and requesting personal information about you that she wasn't entitled to - whether it was given or not - you would feel your privacy was invaded as well.
 
FRO advised that he could do this...he didn't do much more than call and ask if they got the form thet FRO sent and explained the situation, she had the right to say no we cannot give that inf...and the shoe would't be on the other foot because we would never go this far to NOT pay CS..I have kids I pay CS for too...my rules are diff but I never evade...In Michigan you have 10 days to reprt new employment or they will hunt you down...You are requires as a CS payor to link your SSN (same as SIN) to your drivers license number so if you try to run they can always find you...FRO is a pussycat compared to Friend of the Court in Michigan. look it up for fun if youd like.
 
The employer SHOULD have said no and not given you any information. There is nothing to stop the ex from making calls and inquiring about you whether or not you were paying child support. Either way, it's a breach of privacy.

FRO should have been calling to verify the information, not you. That's their job and they have the authority to do so, not you.

I can't stand that slimey kind of BS,the double standards people apply to their situations and the excuses they make to justify it when they're owed money. Blech.
 
Notwithstanding the fact she can turn on the crocodile tears, claim she's unable to work because you harass her (and then case in point show your hubby calling her work to check up on her).

I know it's frustrating, and I know it sucks, but you have to be careful. Think very carefully before doing this kind of thing. She CAN use it to drag things out. Hell MY ex tried to claim I harassed her landlady, despite HER giving me the contact info AFTER she'd already left.

The small gain in information you glean from that kind of thing is not worth the potential for headaches. Been there, done that.

FRO has the ability and the authority to call and check up with the employer, your hubby should be calling the FRO agent for an update, and pushing THEM to do their job, not doing it for them.

Good luck on find a lawyer to help you, from some of your other posts, it sounds like that's a good move for you
 
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