When are you officially "single" ?

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rhondagirl

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Just curious - I want to update Facebook .. lol.

Are you single only when you get the divorce certificate (or whatever it's called - lol)?

Do you consider yourself single when you are simply separated for so long? (year?)

Or maybe when one of you has filed for divorce?

Or (this one is me so far) when you've come to a settlement, and the order has been recorded at settlement conference, but not yet printed & signed, etc.?

Or ...?

:)
 
You're single when you are separated with no (reasonable) chance of reconciliation.

For me, that was when my ex told me she was dating someone 2 months after she moved out. Took me about 30 minutes to get over it, and then I was single.

Divorce it seems, comes long after being single for some. After 5 years, I'm still not divorced for control reasons on her part. But I've been single for 5 years, that is for sure.
 
Thanks ... There is a woman I work with who just got a divorce, who has been separated for about 10 years and living with a man .. I thought that was odd, but maybe it's not so odd afterall!
 
LOL Revenue Canada is the only governing body that sees me as single. I generally opt for " its complicated" for all others including Facebook. :P
 
i have my fb status set to "separated" Will i ever go back to him, maybe if the world is ending and he and i were the only two people on earth. Once my divorce comes thru then i will change it to divorced, or maybe in a relationship.

That is one of the last things I thought about when he and i were first separating.

You do what feels right for you and if people dont agree or question it ask them why does it matter to them so much
 
I don't think Facebook cares about the legal part of our relationships. Put "single" there as soon or as late as you want. Personally, I'm still not divorced, but once it was clear that things were over, I just removed all references to relationship status altogether, and immediately deleted any feed about the changes. Didn't want a bunch of people getting all commenty. When my ex put "complicated" I unfriended him and it felt good!

It's annoying that CRA doesn't let us think of ourselves as single ever again though.
 
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My bank has me down as "Miss _____ _____" Fortunately I always kept my maiden name throughout my marriage. I love the "Miss" part though and proudly had it printed on cheques. Now I know no one uses cheques anymore.....

When I fill out forms I put down "single" as the fact that I had a marriage and it failed is nobody's business. I paid big bucks to get a divorce and "divorcee" sounds so bloody matronly. Single sounds young and fresh. Yeah well ... one can always dream and pretend they weren't married LOL.....


Someone who refers to their relationship as "complicated" is confused and likely in a perpetual state of denial or they really don't get that ITS OVER.
 
Now I am totally twisted - you mean I have to have "divorced" on my CRA records???? I'm gonna call tomorrow because that is totally disgusting and I believe an infringement of my individual rights.
 
arabian said:
Someone who refers to their relationship as "complicated" is confused and likely in a perpetual state of denial or they really don't get that ITS OVER.
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I think for my ex, "complicated" was less embarrassing to him than changing from "married" to no longer married to "in a relationship" one right after the other.

Facebook is annoying, but this CRA thing is rankling me too.
 
So if my ex never wore his wedding ring after the 'church' day, and never changed his FB status...does that mean I'm single ? ha
 
standing on the sidelines said:
why make a big deal about it?? You are divorced. To me single means never legally married.
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To many people, including me, being single means not currently in a serious live-in romantic relationship. If that's the case, it shouldn't matter how you legally got there. People who were common-law and broke up don't have to check a box that says "formerly common-law." Not being able to check "single" is, to me and some others from the sounds of it, like discrimination against me because of having a failed marriage. And that is a big deal.
 
rhondagirl said:
Just curious - I want to update Facebook .. lol.

Are you single only when you get the divorce certificate (or whatever it's called - lol)?

Do you consider yourself single when you are simply separated for so long? (year?)

Or maybe when one of you has filed for divorce?

Or (this one is me so far) when you've come to a settlement, and the order has been recorded at settlement conference, but not yet printed & signed, etc.?

Or ...?

:)
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You are single whenever you want to be single. The concept of marriage in 2012 holds no boundaries. Extramarital affairs are not even considered by the court.

Legally if you are "married" you are not legally divorced until ordered which is a year from the date of separation but, that is just a minor detail.

If you want to date and are ready... Go for it I say. It won't work against you in court.

Good Luck!
Tayken
 
rhondagirl said:
Just curious - I want to update Facebook .. lol.

Are you single only when you get the divorce certificate (or whatever it's called - lol)?

Do you consider yourself single when you are simply separated for so long? (year?)

Or maybe when one of you has filed for divorce?

Or (this one is me so far) when you've come to a settlement, and the order has been recorded at settlement conference, but not yet printed & signed, etc.?

Or ...?

:)
Click to expand...

Facebook doesn't care when you're single and if you think anyone in Facebook-land cares then you have waaay too much time on your hands.

arabian said:
Now I am totally twisted - you mean I have to have "divorced" on my CRA records???? I'm gonna call tomorrow because that is totally disgusting and I believe an infringement of my individual rights.
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Um...your right to what, exactly?
 
Facebook doesn't care when you're single and if you think anyone in Facebook-land cares then you have waaay too much time on your hands.
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lol..had to laugh at this.

I don't use Facebook but is it really important that you correctly identify on social media what your relationship status is?

I find it bizarre that people broadcast that type of stuff on the internet to a bunch of strangers...especially places like Facebook since it isn't even a bit anonymous. A lot of people use real names, pictures, locations.... its also public forum...so that information can be used in employment, lawsuits, etc.

I've always considered being single, married or in a committed relationship more of a state of mind than just a legally binding arrangement.
 
Pursuinghappiness said:
lol..had to laugh at this.

I don't use Facebook but is it really important that you correctly identify on social media what your relationship status is?

I find it bizarre that people broadcast that type of stuff on the internet to a bunch of strangers...especially places like Facebook since it isn't even a bit anonymous. A lot of people use real names, pictures, locations.... its also public forum...so that information can be used in employment, lawsuits, etc.

I've always considered being single, married or in a committed relationship more of a state of mind than just a legally binding arrangement.
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Marriage is a financial legal agreement these days. It holds no other value if you apply your concept of "state of mind" in a relationship and the courts are in agreement with your perspective. The court only considers "ethics" and not "morals" so, the "institute" of marriage is that of a financial agreement in law and that is about it these days.

With regards to the use of social media. Any good lawyer will tell you to delete all your social media once separation starts. It is incredible to see how much court material is made up of social media. It also can bite a dishonest litigant in the ass.

The one thing everyone needs to remember is that for any matter before the courts (especially when children are concerned) there is just no privacy. If you spout off on social media (i.e. Twitter) and say you are super happy then write an affidavit that you were scared, worried, blah blah blah and the other party produces the record contrary to your "sworn" statement... The judge will not buy your "story" as at the same time you were stating something else. Your only answer is to say you were lying on social media at the time and you were really something else? This just makes you look like you lie whenever feel it will meet your needs.

Social media is the most used evidence in family law these days. Furthermore, what you might think is "private" may not be. Someone on your "friends" list can produce the information for the court at any time. If you post your life publicly on the internet you can't cry when it ends up attached to an affidavit.

Good Luck!
Tayken
 
Marriage is a financial legal agreement these days. It holds no other value if you apply your concept of "state of mind" in a relationship and the courts are in agreement with your perspective. The court only considers "ethics" and not "morals" so, the "institute" of marriage is that of a financial agreement in law and that is about it these days.
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Yes Tayken I agree, however, I didn't mean the legal definition or what would apply in court. I actually meant that in one's personal behavior, being loyally committed is a personal choice or state of mind.

Aside from this forum, I'm not a big fan of social media. I would agree, for anyone involved in litigation, its a good idea to stop using it since its considered public forum. The same is true here...however, you'd have to do the work to tie an user ID to a person since its slightly more anonymous.

I think the material point is that anytime you use the internet...assume that you are exposed and anyone can read it and potentially use it against you.

Frankly, I just am not a fan of broadcasting my life details on the web. I like privacy. I guess I'm old fashioned cause I don't get it.
 
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