After settlement conference, and offer to settle and then my counter offer, if ex doesn't accept my counter offer, what's next? Can I still accept his initial offer, or can he counter my counter offer? If this is exhausted with no settlement, what happens next? Back to court? Is it called trail management? Thanks.
what's next?
- Thread starter CanaryMom
- Start date
- Status
blinkandimgone
Moderator
Get a job.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Exquizique
New member
Funny how your lawyer and all-knowing friends haven't provided you with this information already.
Berner_Faith
New member
You have lost all credibility on this forum... no one wants to help you, you have dug a hole that you are not going to get out of... go ask your lawyer these questions...that is what they are for.
When I joined this forum, my husband was still coming back and forth into my life, sleeping with me and then changing his mind and going back to his gf. I can't tell you how many times he came home, told me he couldn't live without me and then re-cheated on me over and over again. I was an idiot to believe him, but with three kids and the uncertainty of my illness and how sick I may become, the thought of being alone was something I couldn't fathom. The anger I've had and the need for revenge, according to my therapist, was a common part of the grieving process. I'm sorry that you all think I am horrible for it, but I was not in a good place when I was feeling the way that I expressed on this forum.
Since that time there have been new developments which include my discovering hidden assets and even the use of our mutual line of credit that was misused and racked up by him when he used those funds to keep an apartment for his gf ( while still married to and living with me) and for which I have been held mutually responsible for.
Up until recently I was working part-time due to the rapid decline in my health. Stress can seriously impact the well-being of someone who has MS. Thankfully I have managed to get back to working fulltime, well, 35 hours per week.
I am not a monster. I have been through hell. I just want what's fair. I still have legal aid however as I am working full time again, I do have to pay towards this.
I am here looking for support and help just like everyone else. I ask that you have an open mind and understand that with the stress and emotional devastation, not to mention the roller coaster of being led on and then let down, over and over, I was out for blood. I see the error in that now, however I do still want what's fair. With the recent developments my entire situation has changed.
Anyways, thank you for listening. I'm going out on a limb here with this post but I've been in tears this evening because I know that who I am and who you all think I am are two different people. This has been a learning experience for me in many ways.
Since that time there have been new developments which include my discovering hidden assets and even the use of our mutual line of credit that was misused and racked up by him when he used those funds to keep an apartment for his gf ( while still married to and living with me) and for which I have been held mutually responsible for.
Up until recently I was working part-time due to the rapid decline in my health. Stress can seriously impact the well-being of someone who has MS. Thankfully I have managed to get back to working fulltime, well, 35 hours per week.
I am not a monster. I have been through hell. I just want what's fair. I still have legal aid however as I am working full time again, I do have to pay towards this.
I am here looking for support and help just like everyone else. I ask that you have an open mind and understand that with the stress and emotional devastation, not to mention the roller coaster of being led on and then let down, over and over, I was out for blood. I see the error in that now, however I do still want what's fair. With the recent developments my entire situation has changed.
Anyways, thank you for listening. I'm going out on a limb here with this post but I've been in tears this evening because I know that who I am and who you all think I am are two different people. This has been a learning experience for me in many ways.
All offers should have a time limit after which they are of no effect. Once an offer is off the table or countered , you cant bring it back unless by agreement.
I don't know what your issues are but using line of credit for non-matrimonial debt is not mat debt. Nothing is stopping you from proving that debt is not allowable. At the end of the day, though, parties tend to make a deal on a fair and just basis and say good riddance or else proceed to trial if they are unable to do that.
I don't know what your issues are but using line of credit for non-matrimonial debt is not mat debt. Nothing is stopping you from proving that debt is not allowable. At the end of the day, though, parties tend to make a deal on a fair and just basis and say good riddance or else proceed to trial if they are unable to do that.
Berner_Faith
New member
How were you held mutually responsible for this when HE took on all the debt load? You have no debt, you have all the assets... you really better hope your ex doesn't wake up and request PROPER equalization where all assets and DEBTS are divided... if you want to be fair why don't you offer that to him?
Pursuinghappiness
New member
You HAVE been given what's fair. On top of being vengeful, you have severe comprehension issues.
You came in here whining about having your voice in court and nothing has changed. You STILL do not get it.
Again, the emotional details behind your divorce are irrelevant to the financial settlement here. You continuing to let your husband emotionally abuse you is unfortunate but has zero bearing on the legalities of your divorce. What your therapist should have explained to you is that anger doesn't help you in family court...and that you are partially culpable for letting him do this stuff to you. The sooner you accept the part you play in your own marital demise, the sooner you heal from it.
Additionally, what you don't seem to be able put into perspective is that you are much more fortunate than many, many women who go through this process. You have been given most of the household assets, he took the debt, he is paying full table child support (even though you have shared access) and he's even now...7 YEARS LATER...made an offer for spousal which you refused, you are educated, you have had access to legal aid.
You want what's fair? Well, why don't you stop thinking about yourself for a change and think about what's fair to your own children.
They deserve a mother who's empowered, independent, emotionally balanced and doesn't walk the planet with a misplaced sense of entitlement whining about how their dad is a bastard and how she didn't get enough of the his money.
Take the settlement he's offering you...leave him and his new partner alone. Live your life and let them live theirs in peace without a bitter, greedy ex-spouse dragging them to court endlessly.
That's what's fair.
(By the way, the other thing I find illuminating about you is how little you talk about your 3 children and how they are and how focused you are on money and your own emotional issues. Its alllllll about you. What's been done to you...what you didn't get. Its pretty typical of someone with your mentality. You don't realize how much you reveal about yourself when you post.)
Last edited:
The reason why I explained the emotional nature of what has happened to me was to give you some insight as to why I came into this forum so vengeful and upset. I was trying to explain that I was not in a good place at that time, hence my need for revenge. Through talk therapy and much work on myself, I realize that for the sake of my children and my health, that was not a good place to be and I have since changed my attitude towards this whole process.
I want what is fair and my situation is very complex at this time with many new developments due to forensic accounting. My lawyer feels that I now have a very good case for SS.
When I asked that you be "open minded" I was hoping you'd see that there is a grieving process that everyone goes through, part of mine when I originally posted was the anger stage. Thankfully I have been able to work past that and I feel strong in my acceptance stage right now.
I hope that when reading everyone's posts here we can all see past some of the language and bitterness and be open minded and sensitive enouch to recognize the emotional devastation each person might be going through.
I would hope that in the future members will sit back and while being tough on someone who is being irrational, also recognize the pain and stage in their own process. Chances are it is short lived and underneath all of it is a human who is hurting, scared and is probably speaking out of character.
I want what is fair and my situation is very complex at this time with many new developments due to forensic accounting. My lawyer feels that I now have a very good case for SS.
When I asked that you be "open minded" I was hoping you'd see that there is a grieving process that everyone goes through, part of mine when I originally posted was the anger stage. Thankfully I have been able to work past that and I feel strong in my acceptance stage right now.
I hope that when reading everyone's posts here we can all see past some of the language and bitterness and be open minded and sensitive enouch to recognize the emotional devastation each person might be going through.
I would hope that in the future members will sit back and while being tough on someone who is being irrational, also recognize the pain and stage in their own process. Chances are it is short lived and underneath all of it is a human who is hurting, scared and is probably speaking out of character.
You need to cut the emotional ties you have with your past. In family court, it doesn't matter what your ex "did to you" and it shouldn't matter to you anymore at this point. Move on with your life and focus on your children.
Your lawyer told you that 7 years later you have a case for S/S? I fail to see how you would be successful.
You are receiving what is more than fair. It is not fair to expect your ex to pay S/S 7 years later.
You're receiving over the table amount for C/S. I would count yourself lucky and leave well enough alone otherwise he might very well wake up one day and say "wait a minute here..."
Your lawyer told you that 7 years later you have a case for S/S? I fail to see how you would be successful.
You are receiving what is more than fair. It is not fair to expect your ex to pay S/S 7 years later.
You're receiving over the table amount for C/S. I would count yourself lucky and leave well enough alone otherwise he might very well wake up one day and say "wait a minute here..."
Pursuinghappiness
New member
The reason spousal support exists is for spouses who've given up career opportunities to raise children to have time to regain their footing back in workforce and become independent.
I work with two people with MS...and in fact, my lawyer has it too and she's perfectly able to earn an excellent living.
You took almost all the household assets, you have an education...you've been separated for 7 YEARS! You have the means and have had plenty of time and opportunity to become independent.
On top of that, he already made you a fair offer, which you refused against the legal advice you were given for free because you are motivated by greed and jealousy.
So here's what's fair:
After 7 years, recognize that you should have moved on by now. Grow up and get a better paying job and stop taking this man to court for spousal support. Stop taking up valuable court time for your almost decade-long personal vendettas.
I work with two people with MS...and in fact, my lawyer has it too and she's perfectly able to earn an excellent living.
You took almost all the household assets, you have an education...you've been separated for 7 YEARS! You have the means and have had plenty of time and opportunity to become independent.
On top of that, he already made you a fair offer, which you refused against the legal advice you were given for free because you are motivated by greed and jealousy.
So here's what's fair:
After 7 years, recognize that you should have moved on by now. Grow up and get a better paying job and stop taking this man to court for spousal support. Stop taking up valuable court time for your almost decade-long personal vendettas.
Tayken
Well-known member
[38] Although some authorities appear to distinguish need and self-sufficiency, I view them as synonymous. If one has need, one is not self-sufficient; if one is self-sufficient, one is not in need.
The Honourable Mr. Justice Quinn.
Bruni v. Bruni, Footnote #38
Pursuinghappiness
New member
Tayken:
I'm almost hoping this vengeful wretch just goes to trial and has her ass handed to her. She's beyond help.
It chills me to the bone to see people like this who can't move on after this much time. Life is way too short to be this self-destructive and have no care for the pain you cause to your own children in the process.
I truly hope her ex makes it safely away from her and he and his new partner can try to minimize the damage to these poor kids.
I'm almost hoping this vengeful wretch just goes to trial and has her ass handed to her. She's beyond help.
It chills me to the bone to see people like this who can't move on after this much time. Life is way too short to be this self-destructive and have no care for the pain you cause to your own children in the process.
I truly hope her ex makes it safely away from her and he and his new partner can try to minimize the damage to these poor kids.
It is unbelieveable to me that you still cannot be a little more understanding and open minded. When I read your responses it chills me because yiou are so far off base with your analysis of who I am.
I am beginning to feel that it is you who is bitter and angry.
To those of you who were able to read between the lines and take into consideration my words, thank you. I am a good person and an excellent mother who works hard despite my illness. The fact that one of the previous posters even brought up that they work with people who have MS, and that they can work in spite of their illness, tells me how small minded you are. I work and I have NEVER used my MS as an excuse not to work. But thank you for making that assumption. It's very telling....
I am beginning to feel that it is you who is bitter and angry.
To those of you who were able to read between the lines and take into consideration my words, thank you. I am a good person and an excellent mother who works hard despite my illness. The fact that one of the previous posters even brought up that they work with people who have MS, and that they can work in spite of their illness, tells me how small minded you are. I work and I have NEVER used my MS as an excuse not to work. But thank you for making that assumption. It's very telling....
Pursuinghappiness
New member
Nice try...however:
You're the one who brought up your illness in the first place.
Additionally, you're the one who's continuing to take your ex to court for ss after a 7 year separation.
Also additionally, you're the one who has refused reasonable settlement offers, taken almost all the household assets, has the educational means to earn a better income and the time to do so because you only have your kids half the time.
Although I have no reason to be bitter...it is true that people like you make me angry. You're vengeful to the point of stupidity and you're a drain on the legal system. All the time and effort you've spent trying to leech off of your ex could have been better spent earning money instead of wasting taxpayer money.
However, I'll make you a deal. I'll be more open-minded when you get off your lazy ass and get out of the court system.
You're the one who brought up your illness in the first place.
Additionally, you're the one who's continuing to take your ex to court for ss after a 7 year separation.
Also additionally, you're the one who has refused reasonable settlement offers, taken almost all the household assets, has the educational means to earn a better income and the time to do so because you only have your kids half the time.
Although I have no reason to be bitter...it is true that people like you make me angry. You're vengeful to the point of stupidity and you're a drain on the legal system. All the time and effort you've spent trying to leech off of your ex could have been better spent earning money instead of wasting taxpayer money.
However, I'll make you a deal. I'll be more open-minded when you get off your lazy ass and get out of the court system.
- Status