What to do?

[gettinfreed]

I have been living comon law with the mother of my children for 5 years now and due to being lied to constantly and her showing no responsiblity as far as money goes the relationship is coming to an end. I have caught her text messaging guys, lying about paying rent, bills, etc.
We have two kids together and I never question her as a mother, but I believe it is in their best interest for me to be their primary care giver as I am the "bread winner" so to speak making 20+ more than her and with her lack of responsibilty regarding finaces. We have had an equal share in raising the kids (with the exception of winters I am laid off), I have zero intention of keeping her from them or vice versa.
Recently while doing my own detective work I found out that she had continued to collect maternity benefits, without my knowledge for at least 4 months after returning to work. She still has yet to report it to EI (Ontario) even after me confronting her about it. I dont like playing "dirty" but I very much suspect she will, and so my question is would reporting her for this and all her other irresponsibilites play into my favor in front of a judge.

 

[logicalvelocity]

gettinfreed,

The only criteria the court would consider is the best interest test as enumerated in the relevant statutes. Other factors that would be of consideration is the role that each parent portrayed to the children during the relationship.

At the end of the day, the court is not going to care whether she defrauded EI or anything in that regard. The focus will be what is best for the children into the future.

lv

 

[standing on the sidelines]

If courts used the fact of who makes more money as a basis for custody, there would be a lot of mothers on assistence who would not have custody of their kids. You say she is a good mother and that is what the judge will look at. As for the EI she should come clean with them because they will find out and it will be worse for her if she doesn't come clean. I do not know what to say about the lying about money and financial irresponsiblity . That probably wouldn't work in your favour or against her. She could put her own spin on it.

Good luck

 

[gettinfreed]

Thanks for your help, I have gotten alot of help from this forum already. The worst part of this situation is that this would not be her first charge under the CCoC, her first being theft under 5000. Like I have said both of us have had an equal share in raising the kids, so I am assuming the court would keep this the status quo. But since she could have up to 10thousand dollars in penalties plus interest from E.I (based on what she was overpaid and the maximum penalties) could I make the arguement that this would seriously affect her ability to provide a stable home for the children? Thus leavin me as the more suitable parent for primary care? I have no intentions of hiring a lawyer as I do not have the finances for it so I am trying to find my best arguement.

 

[gettinfreed]

Just a quick additon this is the point from the interest test I would be making my arguement on:
the ability and willingness of each person applying for custody of the child to provide the child with guidance and education, the necessaries of life and any special needs of the child;