Getting a GOOD family lawyer can be very challenging ! Sadly, one often realizes they DIDN'T get a decent one until its too late....
Even a "reference" can be dodgy since I honestly think a lot of folks know so little about the complicated world of family law that they may have ended up with a poor deal but not even realize it !
Best advice is research things as much as possible, NO ONE will be more invested in getting things right than YOU ! This forum is useful and don't be afraid to "interview" lawyers, talk to others that "think" they had a good one and compare their deal to perhaps what folks HERE think. If you're getting crappy service, speak to the lawyer to express concern and if he/she doesn't smarten up seek a new one ! Don't forget YOU are the customer !!!!