What is the BEST part of divorce to you.

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Jenny

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Okay - divorce sucks. We all know that. Especially for the kids. Personally I loved what I heard on dr phil the other day( did I actually say that???lol ) That it is better for kids to be from a broken home then to live in one.

But with that disclaimer what did you find the BEST thing about getting separated/divorced? I want to hear all the positive things about it. Even if they sound really stupid and petty. Most of them are -- but the pleasures are small and enjoyable.

Deciding what I eat - I can have frosted flakes for dinner if I want with no funny looks - except the cat and those looks are more hungry looks ;-)

okay a total cliche but no toilet seat up- You would think after all this time I would be used to it being up. but nope. You men must love less nagging about it ;-)

The closet all to myself - it's so spacious.

Decorating to my taste and only my taste.

All the support friends and family have shown me - I would have never felt so loved had I not needed it. *sniff sniff*

Along that line- realizing how strong I could be when needed.

No toothpaste goop in the sink- yuck- or at least if there is it is MINE

I don't keep tempting foods for me in the house anymore - and I don't have to anymore for him

A clean place- or if i am lazy- only my mess.

Less grocery shopping to do. Less to carry into my place.

Not having to consult someone else about what I want to buy or do. I'm a night owl and an insomniac at times- so it is awesome to be up and about without worrying about waking your partner. I can vacuum at 3 am if i want

I seem to have tons of time to myself to do what I want now.( maybe it goes with being an insomniac :D ) I am getting into hobbies I have forgotten about and looking into new and exciting things. ( have to do with the time and with that my routine has changed and I am now looking for new things to do- mostly me not my former partner.)


So tell me all the good things about being Divorced, Remarried or Single! I want to revel in my singlehood:-)
 
definitely financial autonomy

definitely financial autonomy

The single best thing about being divorced is being in control of my own finances. I always managed the finances in my marriage too but with 2 pairs of hands in the pot it was always a losing battle. Now for the first time in my life I am actually getting OUT of debt instead of going in to debt. (legal fees excepted)
 
Hey guys...


The best part is

1. Being single
2. Not having to COOK AND CLEAN all the time. My house is the way I leave it in the morning.

o and 3

No falling in the toilet in the middle of the night cause the seat is up. ha ha ha
 
Thank you for this thread! I am in such grief right now that I have been completely unable to consider the good things.

I can totally relate - being able to eat cereal for supper if i want, having my place in the same state of cleanliness as I left it when I get home after work, not having to have junk food surrounding me at home for someone else's sake, and actually saving some money (however tiny the amount).

Thanks for reminding me of these things.
 
ooooo

okay "smile" you'll like this one....

See I like junk food, cereal for dinner is one thing, my fav. for dinner is cheese and onion butties (sorry sandwhiches) yum they are the best.

I can wait two weeks to clean the bathroom... or how about this one... I don't have smelly dirty underwear in the middle of the bedroom floor....
I can wait three day's and still have only three dishes in the sink....

and I have two kids... go figure... ha ha ha (both girls - well trained... lol)
 
Those are awesome ones!

Thought of another - a great big bed to myself with no snoring man beside me :) I still don't use the middle of the bed though- it is odd- so many years of sleeping on one side of the bed - can't break that habit.

jenny
 
I know this is an older post, but I got to reading it and smiled as I did. I wanted to keep it going cuz I think it's a great thread.

For me:

- I can read my books without having someone scowl at me and saying " get your nose out of that book and dry the dishes" Ha! Now I purposly leave the dishes and revel in being able to read whenever I want!

- No more being forced to watch home improvement shows! This used to drive me nuts and I was forced to watch them for hours and hours on friday nights...we never had the money to improve our home, so this made it worse. It was always a constant reminder of how little we had.

- My razor is all MINE! Woo Hoo!

- I can be myself for the first time in nearly 20 years. Wow.... ex used to always give me a look when I'd make a funny joke at social gatherings ...the kind of look which told me " shut up you're embarassing me" or " you're an idiot". I always thought I was being funny and showing a side of my personality....a side I really liked! Funny how I lost that enjoyment and playfulness in myself. So good to have that back and I feel like myself again.

-I can eat in the livingroom!

-I don't have to ask permission or be reprimanded for buying a book anymore.

-I feel that there is possibility in life. The world looks so different to me now.

-Toilet seat UP!!!! Woo Hoo! ( hehe..sorry ladies)

-To end off and reiterate...I've found a piece of myself that was lost for so long. What an amazing feeling that truly is...

I enjoyed this thread so much! Thanks!
GDGM
 
- I can read my books without having someone scowl at me and saying " get your nose out of that book and dry the dishes" Ha! Now I purposly leave the dishes and revel in being able to read whenever I want!
Click to expand...

hehe, well thats gotta be a positive!

Perhaps oneday you will once again have someone scowl at you ;)
 
how about:
- not having to make excuses to my family for why I was attending a family function (again) without my husband
- watching what I want on TV; and turning it off when I don't feel like watching TV
- being able to talk on the phone without being interrupted by "who's that?" and "what does she want?"
- not being depressed all the time about living with someone I no longer liked
- sometimes being right instead of always being wrong in discussions
- having a clean house
- decorating decisions are all mine
- decisions in general are all mine!
- no mood swings to deal with, except my own -lol
 
Ok what a great thread

but I think you Ladies forgot a few think like
- not having to pamper the fragile male ego anymore(except your childs)
- not having to fake it anymore
- no more listening to them wine about this or that

Sorry men and I do know this goes both way and I am still a bit angery about the whole thing but now I only have one child to raise instead of two.
 
Hey Jenny

No worries about the bed.... soon you'll be sleeping from corner to corner, then try to share your bed with someone, before you stole all the covers... now you steal all the bed.... ha ha ha...

Peggy
You can still be wrong in discussions, but now your both wrong, when before only one of you was wrong... lol
O and don't make any decorating "disasters" eh...

ha ha ha... I have so much fun you guy's 15 years and going strong, two teenagers (that have managed to stay out of trouble) .... ha ha ha no-bodies caught me yet... and anyway why should I buy the cow when I can milk it..... yup ladies you are in for some fun.... remember to bring your dancing shoes...
 
Strange feelings

Strange feelings

It seems strange to have such strong feeling of the negative as I've read in the postings to the best about divorce. I think we should follow the old saying on how to decrease divorce in making marriage harder to do.

Why did you get married in the first place w/o some idea of what your partner is like? Why would you stay married if circumstances forced changes?

Was the old movie line correct "men marry women hoping that sweet thing won't change and women marry men hoping to change them and they both lose".

Oh well, if you want the bed to yourself, with only an occasional use by others, want to vacuum at 3 am, eat ceral at night, then why bother to marry. Sexually there are technologies which surpass men and women both. For companionship, get a dog. What is the advantaged in marriage outside of taxes?
 
Sure there are benefits( and negatives) to being married socioeconomic, physical and emotional reasons. But I think for most of us here - those aren't enough anymore and instead of focusing on all that we have lost this thread is celebrating all the good that can come out of it. The sleeping alone, being totally in charge of our lives might seem petty but it sure feels great at times. And I want to celebrate that!

I love that saying btw.

Do we always go into marriage with our eyes wide open- no. Do we see what we want to see? yeah a lot of times. It can be a rude awakening if we realize that the person we married changed( or we did) or if we want to slap ourselves for not "seeing" what we were getting into .

I am rambling a bit here. I hope I am getting my point across. There is a great article in this months Glamour Magazine by Kristin Armstrong( ex wife of cyclist Lance) all about the conspiracy of marriage . I will quote from it

"Marriage has the potential to erode the very fiber of your identity. If you aren't careful , it can tempt you to become a "yes woman" for the sake of salvaging your romantic dream. It can lure you into a pattern of pleasing that will turn you into someone you'll hardly recognize and probably wont like. I am warning you because I only wish someone had warned me"​

She also talks about how she reveres marriage more at 34 then she did as a bride at 26. Wonderful article.
 
That's a great quote. I hope that women who go through that in a marriage will find themselves again after divorce. And truly discover who they are and were meant to be. In some cases marriage can be suffocating. This can go both ways, for men and women.
 
Ladies!

Ladies!

I'm not divorced...only separated.
Which in turn leaves me to be the black sheep of this thread.
Not only being "only separated" divide's me from the other posts in this thread, but the vary fact the majority of posts relate to male short comings and conversely I would have to oppose the masses of this thread.
Oh if I could only indulge myself with a reply, expressing the various nonconformities and idiosyncrasies of the modern day woman that poised itself in jock itch proportions throughout my life.
Ladies!.......be nice.
Grace....thank you for taking men into consideration in your post.
Your all funny though!

Kind regards,

Chopper
 
Not being yelled at for the way I:

- play with my child
- interact with my child
- change diapers, bath, clothe, feed, read, etc
- have fun together

I guess basically the freedom to enjoy my child without getting hit in the head every day. Oh, she still does it... but now I can walk away, hang up or ignore her e-mails.

"Serenity Now"

Yeeha!
 
I'm not technically divorced, as we were only common law, but since we separated a year ago, its been probably the worst year of my life by way of stress and the best year of my life for being able to finally find myself and let my children see "me". At the end of the day, they are all that matter. They will see both of us for who we really are and with any luck, they won't just love me, they will like me. One day, I hope to marry and show my children what a healthy loving marriage looks like and hope that they strive for the same. I also pray that they understand why our "marriage" ended and that there is nothing more important that how you treat people in this world. We can only lead by example. Our children are what we leave to this world. I plan on leaving two wonderful loving boys behind.:)
 
Hey as a woman( and only separated not divorced) I can only speak to the best parts for me. I imagine my ex likes having the toliet seat up and no hair in the drain( well except for his own) but since I don't know that for sure, I can only talk about the good things for me. Like the toliet seat down etc. Alot of what I find the good parts would go for both men and women( the autonomy is a biggie!)

Feel free to post your faves- if they be us nagging women- just do it. That is what this thread is for! We woman know we are not perfect. :p
 
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