What Can I do?

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sufferer

sufferer

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I have been separated for 3 years and everything is resolved.The ex gets the kids(5 year old and 4 year old) every other weekend for two overnights(started since Dec 08).Initially there were only day visits and then only one overnight.Every single access visit the kids used to be devastated,scrached,unrested and hungry.However the things were tolerable eventually and i never made issue of anything.The Ex had a gf even when we were in a relationship and still she is there on and off.They are not married or commonlaw or live together but had a kid after 7 months of separation.This sunday when my kids were returned my 5 year old daughter was upset.After talking to her I am shocked and worried.My 5 year old daughter saw both of the nude and she asked me what they were doing.He has a 4 bedroom house and still makes them sleep in the same room.What could be his intention and how can I protect my kids.
 
first off when did this happen?? Was it during the day or did she get up at night for something and go into his bedroom?? I did that one night to my parents, a lock soon went on their door. LOL Are your kids both girls? If they are not then they should have separated bedrooms. If they are both girls and there are two beds in the room then I think that is okay.
 
You cannot go on what a 5 year old says, especially considering the context.

The only way you can know what happened, is if you talk to the ex. You should do this anyway to decide how to handle the event in both house holds.

Don't accuse him of any wrong doing, just tell him what your daughter said and ask what happened and the both of you should decide how to handle it, which may include simply dropping it.
 
I agree with billm, I'm sure there are numerous parents out there that this has happened to, myself included.
Did we make an issue of it? Heck no, I threw on a robe, walked my son to get a glass of water and tucked him back into bed.
To this day I have no idea if he even remembers walking in on us, he's 20 years old now.
Without having been there it may in fact be an innocent act. For the emotional well being of the child you should consider dropping it, but advising that the ex to take precautions that this does not happen again.
It's a natural act, one that children should not witness, but life happens and how you choose to deal with it will mean the difference between a well adjusted child and a child emotionally riddled with guilt or some other form of self hate or feeling of wrong doing.
 
Thanks to all of you so much for your suggestions.
I have a 5 year old girl and 4 year old boy.It happened in the night and he sleeps on bed with his gf and all the three kids (two mine and one from his gf) on floor.
I didnt make a issue of it and there is no point talking to my ex as we are completely on non-taing terms.Will it be fine if I put a note in the communication book.I will just tell him to shft the kids in another room.
 
sufferer said:
Thanks to all of you so much for your suggestions.
I have a 5 year old girl and 4 year old boy.It happened in the night and he sleeps on bed with his gf and all the three kids (two mine and one from his gf) on floor.
I didnt make a issue of it and there is no point talking to my ex as we are completely on non-taing terms.Will it be fine if I put a note in the communication book.I will just tell him to shft the kids in another room.
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He should have beds for the kids. That is a basic necessity.
 
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