What age can children decide?

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The judge in my case listened to and is respecting the wishes of my 9 year old. He chooses not to see his father any longer. He wrote a letter to the judge and the judge said he was very brave to do so. I agree
 
It's based on maturity. The de-facto age the kids start having a real voice and opinion is 12...by 14 it's pretty much what they want will go and at 16 no one can force them, not even the court order.

If you have a court order specifying access, even before 16 the custodial parent should be doing everything in their power to enforce it. THAT is their legal responsibility. If they don't like it, go and change it.
 
This is tough NBDad, at that age you can encourage it it but you cannot force it, especially if there is damage already done from a parent to a child, forcing it will only hurt a positive relationship. My advice is to get this child in counseling at the age of 12 they can go to counselling "without" parental consent. With my stepson we constantly encourage him to call and or visit his mother but he feels she ruined their relationship and she doesnt take an "active" role in his life for us to force it, he would wind up resenting us on top of resenting her. Ask around laws may be different province to province and municipality to municipality, but here we have been told at 14 if he moves out with someone 18 or over wiht whom he does not have a sexual relationship, there is nothing that anyone can or will do.....this tells you at the age of 14 they can decide indefinately
 
NBDad said:
It's based on maturity. The de-facto age the kids start having a real voice and opinion is 12...by 14 it's pretty much what they want will go and at 16 no one can force them, not even the court order.

If you have a court order specifying access, even before 16 the custodial parent should be doing everything in their power to enforce it. THAT is their legal responsibility. If they don't like it, go and change it.
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NBDad is right on both accounts.

At the age of 12 a judge will begin to take into consideration the childs wishes. But those wishes will be measured by any pressumed pressure from either parent, the maturity of the child and the basis for their reasoning. By the age of 14, generally maturity is a given, but the other factors remain. 16 they are legally able to move out on their own, so they are able to make decisions on their own.

Also, even if the child puts up a stink about going with the NCP, the CP should be doing everything in their power to encourage the relationship and attend access. It isn't just a legal obligation, it is also in the best interests of the child.
 
In our case the child is now in secondary school and the 100km distnace is too much, he has said this in regards to his education, and we feel his decision was mature and well thought out. His mother lives an hour away and if he followed the current access schedule of 2-3 days at each residence his education would suffer greatly as it did in grade 8. He is in counselling and wants to rebuild a relationship in future but right now his education and HIS life is where his thoughts are.
 
The thing with a 14 year old is that if the NCP wanted to make things difficult, she could try and file contempt motions against you.

At 14, if he doesn't want to go, then the onus is on the Custodial Parent to either get written agreement from the NCP on the new changes, OR to go back to court and have it changed by the judge.

Yes, the age thing can change slightly, depending on the province of residence. But for most of Canada it's 16 and the court order can no longer be enforced.
 
14 and Over

You can live with someone else against the wishes of your legal guardian. The other person
will not be charged with a criminal offence as long as they did not assist you in leaving home.​
[Criminal Code of Canada]

Certainly if a child at the age of 14 can decide this then they certainly can choose which parent they wish to reside with.....what this is saying is parents if your kids leave home at 14 and go to live with another adult 18 and over that they have NO relationship with and this person did not assist them in leaving home they can do so....Legally
 
ConcernenedStepMom78 said:
14 and Over​


You can live with someone else against the wishes of your legal guardian. The other person will not be charged with a criminal offence as long as they did not assist you in leaving home.​
[Criminal Code of Canada]


Certainly if a child at the age of 14 can decide this then they certainly can choose which parent they wish to reside with.....what this is saying is parents if your kids leave home at 14 and go to live with another adult 18 and over that they have NO relationship with and this person did not assist them in leaving home they can do so....Legally
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That is the criminal code. It doesn't relate to family law and court orders relating to access. Where a child is ordered by a judge to go with another parent, the child is obligated to go until the order has been altered by a judge. The person with custody of the child is also obligated to encourage and enforce the court order.

So yes, the child can make the determination to live where they want. But that statement is qualified with the determination must be made in court, to a judge, who will then rule on the facts presented. Failure to abide by a court order is contempt, notwithstanding if CCC provides that a child may choose their residence.
 
ty Hammer I do understand that aspect...in our case there is NO order only a domestic contract, our son was in fornt of a child psych who told both parents at the age of 14 they are growing up and making their own choices and they cannot be forced a court can make an order and say all they want if a parent come to pick up their child and the child refuses what are they going to do?
 
No, but the non custodial parent can bring a motion of contempt against the custodial parent and otherwise make your life miserable.

Whether or not it'll be successful is another matter entirely, and would depend on the facts of the individual situation.

The bottom line is that if there is court ordered access, or any kind of legal contract/agreement that stipulates access, then the Custodial parent has a LEGAL OBLIGATION to enforce it. If the minor child kicks up a stink and says they don't want to go, you make them.

If it's THAT traumatic for them, then hussle your butt down to the local courthouse and have it changed.

At 14 the child's wishes are a virtual certainty of being made into the new access order, but until you actually DO THAT, the existing arrangement would be in effect and you would have a legal obligation to enforce it.

Do you allow the 14 year old to be the sole decision maker with respect to the legal aspects of his life? Of course not. You allow him input, and teach him how to be an adult about things. Choices and consequences. Sometimes that means doing things we don't like until we follow the proper process to have things dealt with correctly. The whole right way of doing things vs. wrong way of doing things.

If he doesn't like going and doesn't want to anymore, and is mature and articulate enough to express that belief, then your choice boils down to get the ex to agree to an amendment, or go to court and have it changed.
 
I think this is an awesome topic...because it is important to know what our children can and cannot do legally, if a parent forces the child to have access with the NCP but the child refuses who is in contempt?
 
Hypothetical lets say the police drive the child to have his her access at 14 and the child runs away is this a good thing? Even IF there is a court order that says the child MUST have acces 2 weekends a month, and the child refuses ...so what do you say in motion ...your hounour my child doesnt want to be with his/her other parent at all and says ther is no court order that can make him/her
 
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