Walk away ?
- Thread starter May_May
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Tayken
Well-known member
Hi May_May,
Many people do that in fact. You have to weigh the "costs" of the emotional stress of separation and divorce with the actual costs. For many parents 30-100K loss on assets is better then the 50K bill from their lawyer and the 1,000,000 impact on their emotions.
Good Luck!
Tayken
distraught
New member
It is very stressful and very emotional, I screwed myself over by signing a separation agreement which now I wish I hadn't, I just wanted it to all be over with and I did not want to pay a lawyer large amounts of money to go to court. Be patient,just breath and see it through the best way you can, you don't want to have any regrets later if you should fall on hard times and question yourself about a decision that you may have made in hast. Just take your time and let it play out. Give it some thought, if for you personally it's not worth it and you can walk away and not look back.... then walk away.
MommaMouse
New member
Just take it one day at a time. Here's something I had on my fridge
Don't Quit
by: Unknown Author
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out:
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
Don't Quit
by: Unknown Author
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out:
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
mcdreamy
Moderator
Stay strong, may may. You are in the thick of it now, but it will get better, I promise. It's a question of when.
I walked away from $30 in my first marriage. And my decision wasn't from stress, it was because I was just wanting it to end that badly, that I offered him the matrimonial home, he takes the equity and mortgage, agree on our child time, take our own stuff and call it a day. I knew I could move on on my own. We were young.
Now, in this marriage, I'd still walk away at the $30 level for a relatively pain free separation, but 16 years later from my first, we have much more accumulated, and I wouldn't equalize and take a hit on the equalization for more then 30. I've worked damn hard, as has he, and this time around, I'd take my share. Course, I'm not a kid anymore. I know better..
And I promise you, it does get better. So share some of those margaritas and cigars, wench!
I walked away from $30 in my first marriage. And my decision wasn't from stress, it was because I was just wanting it to end that badly, that I offered him the matrimonial home, he takes the equity and mortgage, agree on our child time, take our own stuff and call it a day. I knew I could move on on my own. We were young.
Now, in this marriage, I'd still walk away at the $30 level for a relatively pain free separation, but 16 years later from my first, we have much more accumulated, and I wouldn't equalize and take a hit on the equalization for more then 30. I've worked damn hard, as has he, and this time around, I'd take my share. Course, I'm not a kid anymore. I know better..
And I promise you, it does get better. So share some of those margaritas and cigars, wench!
I totally understand May_May, I've only been separated since December and I still think about it everyday. I have no regrets about the separation even after 34 years of marriage. What I do regret is not weighing the pros and cons before we split. I have just started to volunteer for the Heart and Stroke Foundation and for the first time in I can't remember when I had a full 2 1/2 hours of rewarding thoughts. I left there feeling good and it was wonderful. I too believe it will get better, if not then I will adjust...I am a survivor and a strong woman, just like many other men and women on this forum.
LTD_Edition
New member
You can't just walk away because it will never end. NEVER!!
Later on down the line, you will need to get something from the other half...ie...proof of separation or to get them to sign something and they won't...out of spite....and they just keep on sticking it to you whenever they can.
You need closure and so does the other half. And, particularly when there are children involved. And if there is nothing written in place...well...things can go their way at any time. You've got to see it through....but there will have to be some concessions made along the way for sure....but don't leave things dangling in the wind....don't.
Later on down the line, you will need to get something from the other half...ie...proof of separation or to get them to sign something and they won't...out of spite....and they just keep on sticking it to you whenever they can.
You need closure and so does the other half. And, particularly when there are children involved. And if there is nothing written in place...well...things can go their way at any time. You've got to see it through....but there will have to be some concessions made along the way for sure....but don't leave things dangling in the wind....don't.
cashcow4ex
New member
I agree with LTD_Edition,
You marry for a few years, yet you divorce for life.
There aint no light at the end of my tunnel. In fact I cant even see the light at the end of my tunnel cause my ex wife's sheer vastness is blocking it all.
Re-edit: I did walk away with about 1/8th of what I should have with the mind set that its for the children. I now come to realize that I should have taken every penny that was mine, ever asset that was mine. This way when the greedy, self obsorbed ex comes calling for more money as she undoubtedly always does. I would have something to give to her.
If I hear from her one more time "its my right" or "I am entiitled to it" or "lets see what my lawyer says" I am going to ...do nothing except piss and moan about it because the family courts has deemed her future to be worth far more than mine.
You marry for a few years, yet you divorce for life.
There aint no light at the end of my tunnel. In fact I cant even see the light at the end of my tunnel cause my ex wife's sheer vastness is blocking it all.
Re-edit: I did walk away with about 1/8th of what I should have with the mind set that its for the children. I now come to realize that I should have taken every penny that was mine, ever asset that was mine. This way when the greedy, self obsorbed ex comes calling for more money as she undoubtedly always does. I would have something to give to her.
If I hear from her one more time "its my right" or "I am entiitled to it" or "lets see what my lawyer says" I am going to ...do nothing except piss and moan about it because the family courts has deemed her future to be worth far more than mine.
blinkandimgone
Moderator
Nobody's suggesting anyone walk away from the process, the original post was asking purely from a financial perspective, how much $$ you'd walk away from just to get things signed and done.
LTD_Edition
New member
Yes, but there is also links to other things that need to be in writing. No one should walk away, even if they have to do things themselves. Leave no loop holes...leave nothing untied.
cashcow4ex
New member
Thats what I mean, I walked away with my cloths and a coffee maker. I felt this would be the easiest for the children. So if you factor in all what I walked away from (equity, furniture, appliances, virtually everything) it all adds up to $$$ over $100k anyways.
When I say I do things for my children, I mean it. I dont just put on a show like my Ex who does things strictly when she benefits from it, yet tells everyone that its all for the children.
LTD_Edition
New member
Yeah, our exes should get together for tea.
cashcow4ex
New member
lol
Not sure thats a good idea. They would learn from each other how to be more effective at extorting their ex's and the legal system.
Not sure thats a good idea. They would learn from each other how to be more effective at extorting their ex's and the legal system.
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