Vaccine for Covid

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Brampton33

New member
I have joint custody of kids (grade 2 and 4). I approached ex about vaccinating kids before Christmas when it became available to them. She said she was not an anti-vaxxer but would rather 'wait and see' to see if there would be any outfall or news about negative impacts to children. I did not press, as I thought perhaps the government was going to mandate vaccination to return to school. That did not happen.

Both kids got Covid earlier this year during the omnicron wave. Now if asked about vaccinating kids, my ex downplays it saying that kids already got Covid and are therefore naturally immune. She is by no means a doctor. It is pretty evident she does not want to vaccinate kids, without flat out saying it. Personally, I think I would prefer vaccination to err on the side of caution, particularly now that things are fully open and its masks off. Neither kid likes wearing mask. I feel its playing russian roulette and would prefer a level of protection that the vaccine offers.

Any advice how to proceed? It was high conflict and remains high conflict.
 
Doctors are saying that you can get it again after having it and that natural immunity wanes faster than they thought.

Do you need her permission? Is there anything in your agreement about necessary vaccinations?

There have been a few threads about this on here. I believe the last court case was posted and it was a tread carefully kind of thing.
 
Thanks for the response. I have read the threads on the topic. Early on, there was a decision that 100% sided with vaccination. Now, the decisions pretty much leave it in the hands of the parents to decide.

We have joint custody and decisions regarding medical are to be made jointly. Agreement is silent on vaccines. All it says is that medical decisions are to be made jointly and both parents are to be consulted on such decisions. There is a dispute resolution clause in the agreement, where if we disagree, we must go to mediation. If mediation does not resolve disagreement, you can file in court.

Part of the issue is that my ex has not flat out said she disagrees. When approached, she said she wants to wait and see what happens with kids getting vaccinated, as she feared possible heart issues, etc. Now, when approached, she says that kids have both had covid and they have demonstrated they can fight it off. So she has not outright said she is against vaccine, she just dodges the question.

I would just hate for something to happen and the result be "You should have gotten your kids vaccinated!"
 
So flat out say, I want to get the kids vaccinated, do I have your agreement to do so. Once I have your yes I will book the appointment.

If she says no, outline you will be setting up mediation as per the dispute resolution class in your agreement. Or should she disagree to mediation, you will be filing a motion.

You have to also ask yourself how far you want to take this. Or if she doesn’t give you an answer, if you will take that as an agreement.
 
what about setting up a virtual visit with the kids family doctor to talk about it?

it doesn't sound like she's attending FREEDOM! rallies- so, as you said, she's not vehemently anti-vax, but maybe she needs to get more information. And it sounds like if that info comes from you- it will not likely be well received.
 
StillPaying said:
Or - there's nothing stopping you from just getting them vaccinated. Just do it.
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It was a lengthy, high conflict court case where I fought hard for joint custody and 50/50 parenting. My ex is one of those who wanted me to have 38%... She still does not accept 50/50 and is constantly looking for any blemish on my part. I don't have any blemishes where I contravened our agreement. I'm trying to keep it that way :-)
 
Brampton33 said:
It was a lengthy, high conflict court case where I fought hard for joint custody and 50/50 parenting. My ex is one of those who wanted me to have 38%... She still does not accept 50/50 and is constantly looking for any blemish on my part. I don't have any blemishes where I contravened our agreement. I'm trying to keep it that way :-)
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She would need a material change in circumstances. Getting your kids vaccinated is not one.
 
That sounds more important....

Your agreement/order is silent on vaccinations. It would be assumed the kids have and will continue to get their vaccinations as needed. They don't care about orders or custody, and you don't need their physical health cards... just walk into any place and do it.

You're more worried about umbrellas and boots repayments instead of vaccinations?
 
StillPaying said:
You're more worried about umbrellas and boots repayments instead of vaccinations?
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I would not conflate the two separate and distinct issues into one. My ex being absent on payment of any 'other' items is a totally separate issue than the issue raised in this thread regarding my ex's seeming unwillingness to vaccinate our 2 kids.

I want to do what's in the best interest of our kids, play by the rules set in our agreement, while not having it blow up in my face as she seems clearly unwilling to go the vaccination route.
 
You fought for and now have custody - time to step up and make those parenting decisions. Unless it's specifically mentioned in your order, which it's not, you can make that call. Same for flu shot; you don't need a court order every 6 months. Think of the worst case for both options - protect the kids.

When ex doesn't provide new or proper items, you don't sit and argue with ex, you just do it. This is not a "trial/experimental surgery" custody issue. Just like before, they'll continue to get vaccinations every couple years despite what ex says.
 
StillPaying said:
You fought for and now have custody - time to step up and make those parenting decisions. Unless it's specifically mentioned in your order, which it's not, you can make that call. Same for flu shot; you don't need a court order every 6 months. Think of the worst case for both options - protect the kids.

When ex doesn't provide new or proper items, you don't sit and argue with ex, you just do it. This is not a "trial/experimental surgery" custody issue. Just like before, they'll continue to get vaccinations every couple years despite what ex says.
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the decision making is joint with a resolution process to go through. He cannot just make the call himself. You cannot compare buying clothes etc with a medical decision. Flu shots etc are medical so he has to follow the guidelines he agreed to. If he starts going against the agreement then she may figure if he can do it then she can also.

When dealing with a high conflict person, follow agreements to the letter.
 
No idea what Rockscan said because they are on my ignore list, just chill.

What "standing on the sidelines" said.

The consensus from the other thread:
1. DO NOT just go and get your kids vaccinated, Brampton33 has joint medical decision making and making a unilateral decision looks bad on them and can get them in hot water. His ex is probably dying for him to get them vaccinated without their permission.

2. Take the kids to the doctor, get their opinion on vaccination. Take that opinion and inform your ex.

3. If you ex still says no go to court because we know you want to for more than one reason.

My kid had Omicron last month, doctor still said "get vaccinated".
 
standing on the sidelines said:
the decision making is joint with a resolution process to go through. He cannot just make the call himself. You cannot compare buying clothes etc with a medical decision. Flu shots etc are medical so he has to follow the guidelines he agreed to. If he starts going against the agreement then she may figure if he can do it then she can also.

When dealing with a high conflict person, follow agreements to the letter.
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Custody decisions are few and far between.

- there is nothing written in their agreement about vax
- there is no known health issues with kid
- kid has received all previous vax
- kid will receive all future vax
- other parent said wait, but was not opposed to it

To me, this is not some experimental surgery or treatment plan, and therefore not a custody issue. Similar to a flu shot, just get it.

When dealing with your kids, protect them. Keeping them safe is court's priority, not punishing people for doing what they're supposed to do.
 
StillPaying said:
When dealing with your kids, protect them. Keeping them safe is court's priority, not punishing people for doing what they're supposed to do.
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Wrong. Just plain wrong.

I wish I had the CANLII link on the guy that wanted to take his daughter to Turkey. It was noted in the decision that the father did violate the court order by taking his daughter for vaccination without agreement. A minor admonishment.

Combine that with this from the other COVID vaccination thread where the court ruled against a parent that wanted their kids vaccinated and one is just asking for trouble by not getting an agreement on it.

mamabear1234 said:
A common sense ruling from Justice Pararatz on this issue.

https://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/doc/2022/2022onsc1198/2022onsc1198.html
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The common sense of the court is not the same as our individual common sense or even the common sense among Justices. If it was about the children's interests they would allow parents to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in court bickering; money that would otherwise be used to help the future of the children.
 
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