"Tug of War" Thank you Tayken...

[May_May]

Tayken

Thank you for the recommendation ! (I'm sure it has been recommended to me by yourself, and/or others...but I bought it last night). After only two chapters I feel sorry for judges actually. Not a career I would ever want to pursue.

I read through two chapters last night, and I'm going to pick up a second copy for my ex this week-end (I'm sure he will not appreciate it...but hopefully he will read something out of it). Unfortunately I fear in my situation that I might be one of those <5% who has to end up in court, due to an ex who won't provide full financial disclosure, has lied about some disclosure, and will not sell our house or give the amount I am entitled to. I am trying, and haven't pushed the situation due to fear of court and his high-conflict personality, but something has to be done now as I can't wait anymore (it's been over a year).

I can't wait to get reading more to see what else I can do to change the situation and hopefully not end up there. If I find any 'tricks/tools' that work with my ex, I'll share specifics here for others !

 

[Tayken]

Tayken

Thank you for the recommendation ! (I'm sure it has been recommended to me by yourself, and/or others...but I bought it last night). After only two chapters I feel sorry for judges actually. Not a career I would ever want to pursue.

No problem. It is a book that most senior family law solicitors recommend to all their clients. Many even just have a cases of the book in their office and just hand them out to clients.

I do have some sympathy for judges in the Family Law system. They are probably second to judges who hear criminal proceedings in having to see the worst of what society has to offer. It may be sadder when you consider that often minor children are involved in the debate.

I read through two chapters last night, and I'm going to pick up a second copy for my ex this week-end (I'm sure he will not appreciate it...but hopefully he will read something out of it).

It isn't a bad idea. When you do give it to him DOCUMENT the TIME and DATE you gave the book to him. I have seen a few affdavits now that someone quotes the book and gets really positive feedback from the judge hearing the motion.

Unfortunately I fear in my situation that I might be one of those <5% who has to end up in court, due to an ex who won't provide full financial disclosure, has lied about some disclosure, and will not sell our house or give the amount I am entitled to.

There are two situations in which a matter can't be settled. (Mediation training books always sight this.)

1) One or both of the people involved in the dispute have a mental illness.
2) One or both of the people involved in the dispute have a substance abuse issue.

I am trying, and haven't pushed the situation due to fear of court and his high-conflict personality, but something has to be done now as I can't wait anymore (it's been over a year).

Really read over Justice Brownstone's chapters on *relevance*. That is the #1 thing a lot of solicitors and litigants just don't understand. It will help you get things line up properly.

I can't wait to get reading more to see what else I can do to change the situation and hopefully not end up there. If I find any 'tricks/tools' that work with my ex, I'll share specifics here for others !

There are some great recommendations in the book.

Good Luck!
Tayken