I am having trouble with my lawyer... ever since he sent out a bill finally in January. I had asked for one for months ... after our First Case Conference in May 2012. Shock ... of course - the amount owing.
Anyway everything originally stalled b/c my stbx has refused to co-operate again and again. The biggest stumbling block.... his failure to disclose. (The "deadline" was July 31st last year.)
As my lawyer has recently received a Notice of Approaching Dismissal (date stamped mid-March), he's finally decided to contact me (by mail; received today).
He's now suggesting that we request a Settlement Conference focussing on custody and access... with a "motion for contempt on the disclosure issues".
Incidentally, the OCL reported her findings to us in December. She has recommendations; no written report. (There are different degrees of involvement.)
Why would my lawyer have avoided me all this time? I am suspicious of him to tell you the truth. I certainly don't have a lot of respect for him - evading the billing issue; charging me for extra work he had to do to correct mistakes; forgetting/overlooking details I sent him once, twice or even three times!
He's smart and experienced. However, I also think he is good at working the system... to his benefit. Plus, he is disorganized, over extended perhaps, and with no secretary. (I have to pay hundreds of dollars for all the emails he ignores. Is that valid???? I thought I'd save money with this guy b/c his hourly rate is somewhat lower than the average.)
How much is a SETTLEMENT CONFERENCE going to cost me?
I don't want to be passive and frozen with indecision. I need to give him the green light or tell him to take a hike... and self represent I guess or let my stbx have his way (i.e. me with nada - no c/s b/c he's now disabled apparently; no money from the sale of the house b/c WE owe money to the bank and to his relatives; no s/s for obvious reasons - nothing. [These are my stbx's claims incidentally - i.e. his tactics to leave me penniless.]
And I am left middle aged with two kids to support alone... little chance of getting an above minimum wage job in a city that demands bilingualism. (I have a professional grad degree and recent retraining... but the job market really, really sucks so far.)
BTW... I'm really pissed off b/c in January I informed my lawyer that someone close to me had died. This person was to have given testimony about some aspect of my case. My lawyer has not acknowledged this once. I expected him to at least express sympathy for my loss. Crap... the guy is disinterested. (Yet I know half his life story; about his wife's battle with cancer, etc., etc. Guess I had to pay him for all that too.)
What would you do? I am very intimidated about this process - i.e. court! I actually care mostly about the custody and access - even though I've still got to figure out a way to pay my lawyer and put food on the table. I wanted to give it one shot - full custody b/c my stbx really is an alcoholic; doesn't actually want to be responsible for our kids or spend much time with them (they're a bit inconvenient I suppose for him) - he just wants control. I want freedom.
If I do nothing... is that going to work in an odd way? In reality I am the main parent - in terms of responsiblity. I have to struggle to keep our kids connected to the guy. Do I really need that on paper - i.e. official full custody? (He has dual citizenship btw... so could take off with the kids to the old country. That's a moderate concern. Also, that he will slip away out of their lives - a bigger concern.)
Anyway everything originally stalled b/c my stbx has refused to co-operate again and again. The biggest stumbling block.... his failure to disclose. (The "deadline" was July 31st last year.)
As my lawyer has recently received a Notice of Approaching Dismissal (date stamped mid-March), he's finally decided to contact me (by mail; received today).
He's now suggesting that we request a Settlement Conference focussing on custody and access... with a "motion for contempt on the disclosure issues".
Incidentally, the OCL reported her findings to us in December. She has recommendations; no written report. (There are different degrees of involvement.)
Why would my lawyer have avoided me all this time? I am suspicious of him to tell you the truth. I certainly don't have a lot of respect for him - evading the billing issue; charging me for extra work he had to do to correct mistakes; forgetting/overlooking details I sent him once, twice or even three times!
He's smart and experienced. However, I also think he is good at working the system... to his benefit. Plus, he is disorganized, over extended perhaps, and with no secretary. (I have to pay hundreds of dollars for all the emails he ignores. Is that valid???? I thought I'd save money with this guy b/c his hourly rate is somewhat lower than the average.)
How much is a SETTLEMENT CONFERENCE going to cost me?
I don't want to be passive and frozen with indecision. I need to give him the green light or tell him to take a hike... and self represent I guess or let my stbx have his way (i.e. me with nada - no c/s b/c he's now disabled apparently; no money from the sale of the house b/c WE owe money to the bank and to his relatives; no s/s for obvious reasons - nothing. [These are my stbx's claims incidentally - i.e. his tactics to leave me penniless.]
And I am left middle aged with two kids to support alone... little chance of getting an above minimum wage job in a city that demands bilingualism. (I have a professional grad degree and recent retraining... but the job market really, really sucks so far.)
BTW... I'm really pissed off b/c in January I informed my lawyer that someone close to me had died. This person was to have given testimony about some aspect of my case. My lawyer has not acknowledged this once. I expected him to at least express sympathy for my loss. Crap... the guy is disinterested. (Yet I know half his life story; about his wife's battle with cancer, etc., etc. Guess I had to pay him for all that too.)
What would you do? I am very intimidated about this process - i.e. court! I actually care mostly about the custody and access - even though I've still got to figure out a way to pay my lawyer and put food on the table. I wanted to give it one shot - full custody b/c my stbx really is an alcoholic; doesn't actually want to be responsible for our kids or spend much time with them (they're a bit inconvenient I suppose for him) - he just wants control. I want freedom.
If I do nothing... is that going to work in an odd way? In reality I am the main parent - in terms of responsiblity. I have to struggle to keep our kids connected to the guy. Do I really need that on paper - i.e. official full custody? (He has dual citizenship btw... so could take off with the kids to the old country. That's a moderate concern. Also, that he will slip away out of their lives - a bigger concern.)
