CanaryMom: Take your lawyers advice....don't care if a legal aid lawyer or not, as they deal with the Courts and Judges on a regular basis, therefore, well aware of the possible outcome by going to trial with a good and reasonable offer such as yours. They don't have a case and would be suprise a pre trial Judge would even accept for this to go to trial.
I truly do NOT undestand what more you are asking for? as you got a lot more than you should have, therefore, consider yourself extremely lucky, be happy and don't be greedy, let go of the anger and move on with life for everyone's sakes...especially the children!
Don't kid yourself, a Judge can request and should request you pay for your ex's legal costs! Your friend is not a Judge and/or a lawyer.
There is a limit as to when a person is being unreasonable and taking advantage of the other, which is what I am clearly seeing from your post! Don't think a Judge will not see this? I'm sure your lawyer has already.
"Be careful what you wish for as you might end up losing what you have and it will back fire on you".
Unless I misread the post and don't want to be judgemental, but I don't see why although you have three children why you cannot get a job and/or go to school to support yourself and help suppport the children. This is year 2012...unless this is a way to qualify for Legal Aid by keeping your income low and use the system to get more, use the Court's time and taxpayers' money?
Please take the advice given as most people who have replied to this post have dealt with the Courts and lawyers, having dealt with settlement, support issues and so forth...