I have a legal aid lawyer and I am really wanting to go to trial on the issue of alimony for me. There have been several settlement offers, all of which my legal aid lawyer is tellling me I should take as he says it's fair and probably what would be orderd by a judge anyways. I still want to go forward with trial but my lawyer is discouraging it. I am self employed but make very little money and my soon to be ex husband makes about $100,000 per year. I raise our 3 children, receive child support for them and was left with the house, which we owned, and all marital assets besides a boat. I qualify for legal aid and he is paying alot for his. Can I force this to trial even though I have a legal aid lawyer? I want to have my day in court and for it to be on record what he has put me through when he packed up and left me and our three babies.
Trial with Legal Aid Lawyer
- Thread starter CanaryMom
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Sure you can by not agreeing. Just know that if the judge finds that his offers were reasonable and orders a support amount similar to what your ex has offered, the judge may order you pay your ex's legal costs on the matter.
I understand wanting your day in court, but you are going to have to get over your anger as the court doesn't care. He is your soon-to-be-ex and this is now a business transaction. Your emotions will simply cause large amounts of monies to be spent that could be better off used on your "three babies".
Edit - With an income of about $100k, you would be entitled to $1,845.00 in child support in Ontario. So about $22,140 a year. What do you make a year? You may be entilted to about $1,000-$1,500 a month in SS (so with cs about $34,140 to $40,140 a year), but I doubt it would be substantially more then that. If he makes $100k and my numbers are anywhere near accurate, he'd be paying you 35-40% of his grosse income....how much more do you want???
I understand wanting your day in court, but you are going to have to get over your anger as the court doesn't care. He is your soon-to-be-ex and this is now a business transaction. Your emotions will simply cause large amounts of monies to be spent that could be better off used on your "three babies".
Edit - With an income of about $100k, you would be entitled to $1,845.00 in child support in Ontario. So about $22,140 a year. What do you make a year? You may be entilted to about $1,000-$1,500 a month in SS (so with cs about $34,140 to $40,140 a year), but I doubt it would be substantially more then that. If he makes $100k and my numbers are anywhere near accurate, he'd be paying you 35-40% of his grosse income....how much more do you want???
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Pursuinghappiness
New member
So you got the house (and furniture), the kids, legal aid, will be getting fair child support and spousal support and instead of accepting a reasonable offer to settle you want to use your free lawyer go to trial to whine?!?!?
Can I come to your trial too? I'd like to get on record how irritating your post was.
Can I come to your trial too? I'd like to get on record how irritating your post was.
Pursuinghappiness
New member
Anyone who thinks they're going to "win" in family court is beyond help.
Frankly, I don't think you need to go to court. I think its pretty obvious why your ex decided to just let all of his material possessions go and take off and leave you. You don't need to bother wasting Canadian taxpayers time and money in an unnecessary trial.
Exquizique
New member
Really, posts like this do not warrant a response ... or perhaps just a one-liner of "Can you see me roll my eyes?" People with minds already so set are bent on going one way or another any way. They seek validation, not insight, advice or information. It's tough enough trying to provide assistance and encouragement to those actually struggling to do the RIGHT thing. No point giving attention to potential trolls.
That said, it is because of people/litigants like this that Legal Aid is tightening up their rules and requirements. I wouldn't be surprised if not too far off in the future Legal Aid lawyers will be equipped with the ability to "say no" or refuse to represent cases like this.
That said, it is because of people/litigants like this that Legal Aid is tightening up their rules and requirements. I wouldn't be surprised if not too far off in the future Legal Aid lawyers will be equipped with the ability to "say no" or refuse to represent cases like this.
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blinkandimgone
Moderator
For....what purpose? Sounds like you're just angry because he decided he didn't want to be with you. The guy left you, but also left you pretty much everything and you want the taxpayers to foot the bill for a trial so that you can, one can only assume, attempt to muddy his name?
Grow up, focus on raising your kids in a healthy environment that begins with you dealing with your anger in a more constructive way.
Your friend is wrong......The courts can and will impose costs on unreasonable parties.
You make $20,000 a year (about full time min-wage) and are receiving MORE than the guideline amount for child support, your ex has given you the house and contents...... and you have decided to go against the advice of your lawyer and are refusing (what your lawyer has deemed) reasonable offers, just to take your ex to court?!?!??!?
Way to kill your kids college fund lady.
Your emotions and anger are completely irrelevent. What you are trying to do is just cost your ex money out of spite and a judge is likely to see right through it. Unless you have some reasonable belief that a judge will give you more for some reason, I'd take a big'ol glass of get-the-fuck-over-myself and learn how to negotiate. Because if you don't, I wouldn't be surprised if your lawyer fires you as they can't work with an individual who won't listen to their reasonable advice.
Rioe
New member
You are not going to get what you want from court. What he did to you is completely irrelevant. Canada has no fault divorce. The judge will not spend any time on the emotions you experienced due to your breakup. Spousal support will follow guidelines, based on your ability to work, your earning potential, your work history during the marriage and the length of the marriage. The reason he left and how it happened isn't going to be considered.
And you got the whole house and nearly all the marital assets? If your ex brings this up, you may find yourself getting much less, perhaps even NO, spousal support than his reasonable offers. You really want to put that in danger?
If he has made reasonable offers, which are what a judge would likely order, and you declined them and took him to court instead, then you are going to be ordered to pay your ex's legal costs when that happens. And you'll be paying that out of your child support money or by selling your house! Having a legal aid lawyer and a low income doesn't protect you from that. Don't take legal advice from your friends.
And by the way, the staying home to take care of your children argument isn't a strong one. You will be expected to support yourself and them to the best of your ability, especially if/when they are all school-age.
Unless there are other issues that aren't settled, like custody, it sounds like you only want to take your ex to court for some sort of punitive goal, either by driving up the cost of his lawyer, or possibly getting slightly more spousal support than his offers included. But what you fail to realize is that everybody suffers. Including yourself and your children. All a trial will accomplish is making lawyers rich and wasting your time. Where would you rather the money go, to lawyers or to your children?
Nobody comes out of court a winner except the lawyers.
Wake up. Before you ruin your children's future.
Berner_Faith
New member
Clearly she has already made up her mind...its people like this, that unfortunately keep the court systems so full that people with real problems are not able to get in front of a Judge for MONTHS... I bet if she was paying her own lawyer this pettiness wouldn't even be happening, but hey...everyone here makes more than enough money to have our tax dollars wasted on people like this right? 
You are a prime example of someone who doesn't care about what their children are going through, instead you think that getting in front of a Judge to tell them "what he put you through" is going to get you somewhere. What issues do you think are going to get settled when you bring him to court? You have basically kept everything from your marriage, except the man and his boat.
Get over yourself and start listening to the legal advice we are all paying for you to have.
You are a prime example of someone who doesn't care about what their children are going through, instead you think that getting in front of a Judge to tell them "what he put you through" is going to get you somewhere. What issues do you think are going to get settled when you bring him to court? You have basically kept everything from your marriage, except the man and his boat.
Get over yourself and start listening to the legal advice we are all paying for you to have.
Pursuinghappiness
New member
Well then...since she's wasting court time and taxpayer's money...I hope her stbx is successful in imputing an income for her since she isn't even trying to work and having her pick up court costs. Its truly sad for her children but I have a feeling they'll having to spend their whole lives dealing with this woman putting her own needs in front of theirs.
Just another self-focused, self-absorbed forum troll. Not the first one and won't be the last.
Just another self-focused, self-absorbed forum troll. Not the first one and won't be the last.
I don't know why everyone is coming down so hard on me! I have rights and one of those rights is to go to trial. I am not taking money out of my childrens pockets. My husband will have to pay what is ordered no matter how much he pays in legal fees. And by the way, I won't be deterred by the posters who claim that I will have to pay his legal fees if the judge orders a similiar judgement as he offered in negotiations. I know of someone who is on social assistance and the judge waived the fees to her ex at trial because he said she couldn't possibly pay it given her limited income. The amount the judge ordered her ex to pay was almost exactly the same as he offered her during negotiations.
YOu don't know me so don't judge. I have rights and I plan to use those rights as a canadian citizen.
YOu don't know me so don't judge. I have rights and I plan to use those rights as a canadian citizen.
Good luck with that.
And yeah, I will judge you. You seem like a bitter person who has nothing better to do then a) waste our tax $$ so you can seek your revenge, b) waste your ex-husbands money out of sheer spite and c) waste whatever money you and your ex could be putting towards your kids and their future (don't you think the money your ex spends on a lawyer fighting your useless bitter fueled battle may be better spent on the kids and their future).
I understand why your ex left you and I feel sorry for your children.
Edit - and if you think you have no assets or income for which a judge could order costs, you may want to look at the ss you are discussing and that roof over your head that your ex left you with.
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Pursuinghappiness
New member
True...you have the right to be a totally unreasonable, annoying a-hole and since that's what you're being don't expect people not to call you on it. The truth hurts.
If you (the above noted a-hole) don't work and your ex-husband is forced to bear all the financial burden and you squander money in unnecessary legal costs because (again) you're an a-hole, explain to me how this isn't taking money away from your children?
Your only limitations are ignorance, selfishness, and laziness. Nothing else is stopping you from earning a living. Your ex has made reasonable offers and I truly hope he gets costs back. They could easily deduct them from the amount he's paying you since you are purely silly and deserve to be penalized for your attitude. I hope he's successful and manages additionally to impute a wage for you since you are too lazy to get off your butt and work part-time even.
You asked for advice on a public forum. Not only is everyone making judgements about you but here's what they probably are:
1) You're a dbag.
2) Your husband did the right thing by leaving you no matter what the financial consquences.
3) We all feel sorry for your children.
4) Get bent.
Pursuinghappiness
New member
By the way, if I knew your stbx husband, i'd buy the poor guy a dinner certificate so he could take a decent woman out for a nice meal. I feel so sorry for the poor guy having had to deal with someone like you. I feel even more sorry for your unfortunate children.
Shame on you...seriously...you're a trainwreck.
Shame on you...seriously...you're a trainwreck.
NBDad
New member
It's because you have a reasonable offer or offers on the table and are hell bent on taking the ex to court, wasting the taxpayer's money for no reason.
Yes you are. You are draining funds on lawyers that could have gone towards the children.
It's the law honey. I hope your ex's lawyer has more than half a brain. They will eat you ALIVE in court. Go to court, the ex can (and should) do true equalization, which means 1/2 the house, 1/2 of ALL the assets, imputing your lazy ass an income comparable to what you SHOULD be able to make.
Huge difference between being on social assistance and having significant assets.
Do me a favor...send me your husbands name and his attorney. I want to send them this post so they can absolutely WRECK your ass in court.
Personally, if I knew him, I forward him this thread as it would make AWSOME evidence in court and to have her HAMMERED with court costs.
Epona
New member
Oh dear. "I do want my day in court and I was told by a friend that because I have such a small income, the judge won't award him his legal fees. I win either way."
Do not follow your friend's advice. The judge could award him court costs which means YOU'll have to pay him his court fees. If you can't pay him, then the costs will be deducted from child support.
And yes, it can and does happen. If you pursue a matter which shouldn't go to court, you will be penalized (though it depends on the judge to a large degree).
The court doesn't care who did what. There's no point to "having your day in court" if the matter can be resolved out of court. Judges don't like court time being wasted.
"I have rights and one of those rights is to go to trial. I am not taking money out of my childrens pockets. My husband will have to pay what is ordered no matter how much he pays in legal fees."
Decisions in court are made according to the rules (laws). Since, by your own admission, you are already receiving MORE than you are entitled to BY LAW, it is extremely unlikely your case will be allowed to go to trial. Or, if it does, they'll let it go in order to make an example of you (a very unpleasant example it would be for you). You stand a very good chance of losing some of the things you already enjoy.
NOBODY WINS in family court. Since you are intent on rocking the boat, expect to fall in and you'll end up in a worse situation than you are now.
YES, you ARE taking money away from your children!!! The money (thousands of dollars just frittered away) spent in court fees could be used better for your children. Your husband is already paying as much or more than he is required to BY LAW. You won't get a judge to order he pay more.
Obviously, we don't know you and everything about your situation. But if what you're saying is true, my advice to you-- HEED YOUR LAWYERS ADVICE AND ACCEPT THE OFFER.
Do not follow your friend's advice. The judge could award him court costs which means YOU'll have to pay him his court fees. If you can't pay him, then the costs will be deducted from child support.
And yes, it can and does happen. If you pursue a matter which shouldn't go to court, you will be penalized (though it depends on the judge to a large degree).
The court doesn't care who did what. There's no point to "having your day in court" if the matter can be resolved out of court. Judges don't like court time being wasted.
"I have rights and one of those rights is to go to trial. I am not taking money out of my childrens pockets. My husband will have to pay what is ordered no matter how much he pays in legal fees."
Decisions in court are made according to the rules (laws). Since, by your own admission, you are already receiving MORE than you are entitled to BY LAW, it is extremely unlikely your case will be allowed to go to trial. Or, if it does, they'll let it go in order to make an example of you (a very unpleasant example it would be for you). You stand a very good chance of losing some of the things you already enjoy.
NOBODY WINS in family court. Since you are intent on rocking the boat, expect to fall in and you'll end up in a worse situation than you are now.
YES, you ARE taking money away from your children!!! The money (thousands of dollars just frittered away) spent in court fees could be used better for your children. Your husband is already paying as much or more than he is required to BY LAW. You won't get a judge to order he pay more.
Obviously, we don't know you and everything about your situation. But if what you're saying is true, my advice to you-- HEED YOUR LAWYERS ADVICE AND ACCEPT THE OFFER.
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I raise three of his children and I work part time! You don't even know all of the circumstances such as that he was having an affair and got his mistress pregnant, all while i sat home raising his kids! I want it on public record, which it will be after the trial, that he was whoring around and abandoned his children and wife!
By the way, I've researched it. I WON"T BE PAYING LEGAL FEES! You can't scare me by telling me otherwise. Unless any of you is an actual judge, then don't bother with the scare tactics!
By the way, I've researched it. I WON"T BE PAYING LEGAL FEES! You can't scare me by telling me otherwise. Unless any of you is an actual judge, then don't bother with the scare tactics!
Epona
New member
Everybody here has been through the system at least once.
I had half of his court costs deducted from child support--received NO child support for about three months.
You are getting good advice here. It's now on public record that your spouse was/is an ass-hat. We get that. Now you are being one. The court system DOES NOT care. There is NO GUARANTEE you won't pay legal fees.
By the way, how did you manage to qualify for legal aid when you have a house? I don't have any type of job and didn't qualify for Legal Aid, though I'm part-owner of a house and have a sixteen year old car. I was/am a stay-at-home mom also (back at college, since trying get a job wasn't working).
I had half of his court costs deducted from child support--received NO child support for about three months.
You are getting good advice here. It's now on public record that your spouse was/is an ass-hat. We get that. Now you are being one. The court system DOES NOT care. There is NO GUARANTEE you won't pay legal fees.
By the way, how did you manage to qualify for legal aid when you have a house? I don't have any type of job and didn't qualify for Legal Aid, though I'm part-owner of a house and have a sixteen year old car. I was/am a stay-at-home mom also (back at college, since trying get a job wasn't working).
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