Tore a page out of separation agreement

[knackered]

My ex has served me with a motion to change final order (our separation agreement)

She wants more child support per month and extraordinary expenses.

Our current agreement states --There are no current special or extraordinary expenses.

--Future special or extraordinary expenses may include medical or dental expenses not covered by any extended health benefits, child care expenses, recreational or extracurricular expenses. If any such expenses arise, they will be shared by each of us proportionately. The proportional share of expenses shall be determined by calculating each party's percentage of our combined incomes at the time of the special or extraordinary expense. I shall pay my share of the expense within 20 days of being provided with the receipt of invoice or other such proof.

Our separation agreement that she and her lawyer submitted to the court--had this exact page missing from it!

At one time, she asked me for babysitting expenses, I told her "sure, just give me the receipts" a month went by and she still hadn't gave me any receipts. When I questioned her on it, the next week, she gave me a lined piece of paper that she wrote in pen weeks/months of babysitting fees. Is this considered proper proof?

(I have no issue paying for these costs, just think I should be given more legitimate receipts--I wouldn't think a piece of lined paper that she wrote on is proper proof?---there is no signature from the child care provider or anything of that nature on it--it is literally a piece of paper that just says "babysitting fees" with a random number given for each month)

On that piece of paper, she wrote that each month was approximately $900 a month for child care costs.

On her financial statement to the court, she put $580 a month for child care costs.

What will happen if a judge notices that she/her lawyer, submitted our agreement to them with that page missing regarding the extraordinary expenses--how she is to notify me/provide me with receipts and then I have 20 days to pay?

 

[confused1999]

Just to add something as a "tip" re extraordinary expenses....

-I would add something to the effect of IF she wants you to pay such expenses, you need to give signed authorization in ADVANCE. If you can't agree, THEN you go to mediation, court, etc.

Bottom line, best to deal with proposed expenses BEFORE they are occurred than after. Hope this helps

 

[winterwolf7]

I have learned that daycares, not surprisingly, don't like to get involved or make special arrangements to handle separated and divorced parents. Although it makes me angry and kind of ill, it seems it's beyond the capability of their administration to do something simple like provide two copies of the invoices, or to bill equally from two sources, or to send bills to alternating addresses for shared custody for each parent to pay a month.

I don't have any good solutions for this yet

 

[dinkyface]

Based on what I've read here about requirement to provide receipts for childcare, the courts might not help you get receipts. Particularly for unlicensed care - where possibly the work is done 'under the table'.

$500 covers roughly 8-11 full days of care (that's 2-2.5 days/week).
$900 covers roughly 14-17 full days (that's 3-4 days/week).

Based on what you know of her WORK schedule/hours, is it believable that she requires 2-4 days/week of childcare? Remember that childcare so that she can go out on errands/socializing is NOT your responsibility.

You could indicate that she must submit these expenses on her tax return (which would require receipts), and that the resulting tax reduction must be used to decrease the total amount to be split. That is ENTIRELY reasonable, and is a way to get some sort of accountability/proof for the expenses.

 

[knackered]

Based on what I've read here about requirement to provide receipts for childcare, the courts might not help you get receipts. Particularly for unlicensed care - where possibly the work is done 'under the table'.

$500 covers roughly 8-11 full days of care (that's 2-2.5 days/week).
$900 covers roughly 14-17 full days (that's 3-4 days/week).

Based on what you know of her WORK schedule/hours, is it believable that she requires 2-4 days/week of childcare? Remember that childcare so that she can go out on errands/socializing is NOT your responsibility.

You could indicate that she must submit these expenses on her tax return (which would require receipts), and that the resulting tax reduction must be used to decrease the total amount to be split. That is ENTIRELY reasonable, and is a way to get some sort of accountability/proof for the expenses.

She is claiming child care expenses on her income tax--she claimed $10,000 and some last year, and that full amount gets deducted right off her income on her income tax summary.

 

[Tayken]

I have learned that daycares, not surprisingly, don't like to get involved or make special arrangements to handle separated and divorced parents. Although it makes me angry and kind of ill, it seems it's beyond the capability of their administration to do something simple like provide two copies of the invoices, or to bill equally from two sources, or to send bills to alternating addresses for shared custody for each parent to pay a month.

I don't have any good solutions for this yet

Yet, the vast majority of OCL and Section 30 evaluators make this recommendation without doing any foot work to find a daycare facility that would in fact, follow their recommendations. This renders any report or recommendations they provide as useless as their evaluations. Unless the daycare provider is registered and willing to agree to the recommendations set forth by the evaluator prior to committing any of the recommendations to an order it is just words on paper.

Without written and explicit consent from the daycare provider (or other third party service providers to your children) in hand for the evaluator their recommendations are not worth the paper they are written on.

As an evaluator people are depending on them to put their children's best interests first. This would require them to do their job and find a solution not recommend something that could not be implemented or something that no other third party would commit to.

Furthermore, these third party service providers don't want to get involved as their records, and other materials become cogent evidence before the court. For example, it is easier for a doctor to drop children from their care than to allow them in their practice as their practice guide lines clearly identify their medical records as evidence and that they can be used as such in a proceeding.

Any half-educated parent can read PHIPA and file a freedom of Information Request with their college and get this evidence. Furthermore, if the college refuses then the requester can take the matter to court and get an order. There are no judges that wouldn't order the release of a child's medical records and any parent who refuses to consent to their result is hiding something... Generally their anxieties about their children's health that are not based on any cogent evidence and demonstrates this.

Good Luck!
Tayken

Good Luck!
Tayken