The "other" side

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Leviathan

Leviathan

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is there ANYONE who went through all this CS and SS stuff with a common law partner that is FINALLY done with all the headache and financial worries??

let's hear them PLEASE....:)

actually does it ever end??
 
It has to end eventually :)

Right now I'm pissed off because my ex is going to steal over a hundred thousand dollars from me and my children over the next decade, in addition to the money that has already been taken from us.

12 years from now, when I am only facing 3 more months of legalized theft, and have already endured 130+ such assaults, the edge will have hopefully worn off. At that point, I probably won't be posting on this forum.

We don't see the other side on this forum much because people on the other side have no need to post on this type of forum. It is the family law version of the weak anthropic principle :)
 
Janus said:
It has to end eventually :)

Right now I'm pissed off because my ex is going to steal over a hundred thousand dollars from me and my children over the next decade, in addition to the money that has already been taken from us.

12 years from now, when I am only facing 3 more months of legalized theft, and have already endured 130+ such assaults, the edge will have hopefully worn off. At that point, I probably won't be posting on this forum.

We don't see the other side on this forum much because people on the other side have no need to post on this type of forum. It is the family law version of the weak anthropic principle :)
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Janus...thank you...you've answered the question perfectly

I was hoping at least SOMEONE that used to post on here would drop by after all he/she has been through and basically just dropped in to let us ALL know how it feels..no??:)
 
Don't think many people who make it to the other side want to return to the site where they lost all their naivety and innocence, about family law!
 
I try to be optimistic that my CS/SS matters are at least 75% done but that's the problem with family law... you might think you have a good agreement or final order but NOTHING is ever final.

I agreed that my ex may be entitled to support until our son is in school full time since she looks after him for now, at which point it's subject to review. She was only out of the work force for 2 years at the time of the divorce order. We have been divorced for about 2 years now.

Since he will be starting full time school in September, we are only about 9 months away from that fateful day. The question that weighs heavily on me every day is what will happen in September...

Will she be employed?
Will she even have TRIED to be employed?
Will she suddenly announce she is going back to University?
Will she suddenly try to plead her health or my son's health?

I budgeted what little money I had to help me make ends meet and survive until September 2013. I rent a tiny 8'x10' bed room, drive a used car and try to live modestly. My income is not that high and after support I make around 22k per year and my ex gets about 28k. Neither of us have a high standard of living and the only way to get more money into the family is for her to get a damn job.

So the question remains... will she fulfill her end of the agreement or not?
 
FightingForFamily said:
I try to be optimistic that my CS/SS matters are at least 75% done but that's the problem with family law... you might think you have a good agreement or final order but NOTHING is ever final.

I agreed that my ex may be entitled to support until our son is in school full time since she looks after him for now, at which point it's subject to review. She was only out of the work force for 2 years at the time of the divorce order. We have been divorced for about 2 years now.

Since he will be starting full time school in September, we are only about 9 months away from that fateful day. The question that weighs heavily on me every day is what will happen in September...

Will she be employed?
Will she even have TRIED to be employed?
Will she suddenly announce she is going back to University?
Will she suddenly try to plead her health or my son's health?

I budgeted what little money I had to help me make ends meet and survive until September 2013. I rent a tiny 8'x10' bed room, drive a used car and try to live modestly. My income is not that high and after support I make around 22k per year and my ex gets about 28k. Neither of us have a high standard of living and the only way to get more money into the family is for her to get a damn job.

So the question remains... will she fulfill her end of the agreement or not?
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Wow FFF...thats a little different than my scenerio...both ur salaries are a lower than mine, although my ex common law gf's is the same...

she's trying her best to get both CS and SS outta me (her daughter's 17 and not biologically mine)...

long story short, my lawyer seems to think it'll be a good battle...all 4 of us (my lawyer, me, her and her lawyer) are supposed to meet and discuss some options (I got a personal letter from her lawyer in the package when I got served...probably very normal I guess??)..I guess we'll see where it goes from there.....hoping for the best..again..my lawyer seems so "relaxed" about the whole thing!!..personally I'm ready to explode :mad:
 
Leviathan said:
Wow FFF...thats a little different than my scenerio...both ur salaries are a lower than mine, although my ex common law gf's is the same...

she's trying her best to get both CS and SS outta me (her daughter's 17 and not biologically mine)...

long story short, my lawyer seems to think it'll be a good battle...all 4 of us (my lawyer, me, her and her lawyer) are supposed to meet and discuss some options (I got a personal letter from her lawyer in the package when I got served...probably very normal I guess??)..I guess we'll see where it goes from there.....hoping for the best..again..my lawyer seems so "relaxed" about the whole thing!!..personally I'm ready to explode :mad:
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Well the difference is all that negotiation with lawyers and crap is supposed to be DONE with, we have already been divorced for 2 years, have a functional 31 page separation agreement and equivalent divorce order that has been sufficient with only minor disagreements. I gave up a lot of money in settlement just to keep it out of court and try to move on with my life.

Agreeing to 3 years of support for a 6 year marriage, plus giving up a big chunk of money to her was supposed to buy me some peace and hopefully a future. Now the 3 years is almost up and I am wondering what will happen next. I fantasize about it most days, about actually being paid most of my normal salary. Being able to save some money, maybe get a mortgage again some day. I want our son to have a good home at both residences, because he deserves to have a good home and quality of life.
 
FightingForFamily said:
Well the difference is all that negotiation with lawyers and crap is supposed to be DONE with, we have already been divorced for 2 years, have a functional 31 page separation agreement and equivalent divorce order that has been sufficient with only minor disagreements. I gave up a lot of money in settlement just to keep it out of court and try to move on with my life.

Agreeing to 3 years of support for a 6 year marriage, plus giving up a big chunk of money to her was supposed to buy me some peace and hopefully a future. Now the 3 years is almost up and I am wondering what will happen next. I fantasize about it most days, about actually being paid most of my normal salary. Being able to save some money, maybe get a mortgage again some day. I want our son to have a good home at both residences, because he deserves to have a good home and quality of life.
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FFF....I'm totally looking forward to the same thing!!!..freedom to save, buy a house...just being able to BREATHE!!! :D
 
Leviathan said:
is there ANYONE who went through all this CS and SS stuff with a common law partner that is FINALLY done with all the headache and financial worries??

let's hear them PLEASE....:)

actually does it ever end??
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It can end. Sure, why not?
When will both of you let go?

That's when it ends. And I don't mean you still have the hots for each other, but I mean when you both are just parents to your kid(s).

I'm not there yet. But hopefully, one day things will be cool.
 
Now having read the posts following the original post, I've had a good chuckle.

I feel compelled to remind everyone to mind their p's and q's.

This is a civilized society, and we are supposed to be grateful for it.

There is no sympathy to be gained from the thrust of this thread, in court, or even in the court of public opinion.

Just accept what is, is.
 
wretchedotis said:
It can end. Sure, why not?
When will both of you let go?

That's when it ends. And I don't mean you still have the hots for each other, but I mean when you both are just parents to your kid(s).

I'm not there yet. But hopefully, one day things will be cool.
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Point taken Wretch
 
I have a dream that one day I will be able to burn a kickass bonfire of legal paperwork, and roast some marshmallows over it.That my kids wont have any worries and my income will be enough to let us live in comfort.That I meet a decent honest guy who isnt drama and is of good character.But until then ,keep on keeping on.Like kidney stones ....this too will pass....
 
murphyslaw said:
I have a dream that one day I will be able to burn a kickass bonfire of legal paperwork, and roast some marshmallows over it.That my kids wont have any worries and my income will be enough to let us live in comfort.That I meet a decent honest guy who isnt drama and is of good character.But until then ,keep on keeping on.Like kidney stones ....this too will pass....
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I think I'd prefer the kidney stones...
 
murphyslaw said:
I have a dream that one day I will be able to burn a kickass bonfire of legal paperwork, and roast some marshmallows over it.That my kids wont have any worries and my income will be enough to let us live in comfort.That I meet a decent honest guy who isnt drama and is of good character.But until then ,keep on keeping on.Like kidney stones ....this too will pass....
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Murphyslaw...I'd join you in a minute!!..I have enough paperwork to toss in the fire myself!!..figure the bonfire will probably last several days :D
 
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