Taking kids on a month long trip during school year

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nogoingback

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My ex has informed me she wants to take our 2 daughters overseas to visit family for the month of June. Daughters are in SK and Gr. 2. I don't like the idea and have said as much, because
1) I don't think they should miss a month of school
2) Though I have not seen it in writing, I understand there is a board policy stipulating more than 15 days for an unexcused absence puts their enrollment in French immersion at risk.
3) I don't want to go 4 (potentially 5) weeks without seeing my daughters.
4) According to our SA signed two years ago, ex was to be working full time by now.
I have responded outlining 1,2,3 above, suggesting 2 weeks as more appropriate.
Ex is insistent that they go for a month, saying it is too much money for just two weeks, and that the cost per ticket increases substantially in the summer.
Any advice on how to deal with this. Is a month too long based on 1,2,3?
 
a month is way too long. Maybe get a printout from the school regarding how many days missed is acceptable.

If she refuses then ask her for the kids for one full month without her and see what she responds. I bet she wont like it.
 
Actually, I see it differently as my kids are older and we often took them out school early for vacation without any impact.

It is June and JK is not even mandatory. Grade 2 has more but in June, it is clean up time and end of year outting.

If the children are doing well then there is no impact. June in also normally not even a full month of school.
 
With kids in only SK and 2, I wouldn't be that concerned about them missing the month of June - particularly in favor of a family holiday overseas. If they were my kids, I would consent - what a fantastic opportunity for them.

However, I would be asking for some significant make up time upon their return - can you take 2-3 weeks in a row this summer and have them?
 
I am the devil advocate here so the OP can prepare himself.

Unexcused absence - I assumed she will provide the excuse to the school so this has no weight. Even high school are willing to make arrangement as long the parent ask for.

5 weeks - she will use the excuse that you can not visit family oversea in a weekend. OP should negotiate an exchange for summer time vacation. That is his call but technically refusing it will also be see has trying to deprive the children to visit family.

After my separation, I decided i need to go away and a visit to my family in the state was plan. My ex did not want the kids to be gone for a month and I was planning to go alone. It turn out that my both children reated when they found out and requested to be part of the trip. Ex did not have a choice to agree. I also never refuse him extra time for trip with the children.
 
mcdreamy said:
With kids in only SK and 2, I wouldn't be that concerned about them missing the month of June - particularly in favor of a family holiday overseas. If they were my kids, I would consent - what a fantastic opportunity for them.

However, I would be asking for some significant make up time upon their return - can you take 2-3 weeks in a row this summer and have them?
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I would ask for the same amount of time that she wants to take the kids.
 
nogoingback said:
My ex has informed me she wants to take our 2 daughters overseas to visit family for the month of June. Daughters are in SK and Gr. 2. I don't like the idea and have said as much, because
1) I don't think they should miss a month of school
2) Though I have not seen it in writing, I understand there is a board policy stipulating more than 15 days for an unexcused absence puts their enrollment in French immersion at risk.
3) I don't want to go 4 (potentially 5) weeks without seeing my daughters.
4) According to our SA signed two years ago, ex was to be working full time by now.
I have responded outlining 1,2,3 above, suggesting 2 weeks as more appropriate.
Ex is insistent that they go for a month, saying it is too much money for just two weeks, and that the cost per ticket increases substantially in the summer.
Any advice on how to deal with this. Is a month too long based on 1,2,3?
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1) Missing a month of school is not a big deal at that level, especially for the kindergartner. The mother could arrange with the school to bring some homework projects for the older child to work on. Is she a good student, or struggling? June is generally more goofing around and field trips than it is learning.

2) Will they be in France? Contact the school, and find out what the policy is for an extended absence WITH an excuse.

3) Your ex could arrange to have the kids skype with you weekly during their trip. You could ask for an extended time with them in exchange during the summertime.

4) Irrelevant. Annoying, but irrelevant. If you want to address her employment, that would be something separate to this proposed holiday. You were wise not to bring it into this issue. I'm not sure why you're telling us, except that you may be wondering how she can afford a trip at all?

Personally, I think this sounds like the trip of a lifetime for them, and getting to know their extended family could be very beneficial. Do you have a fear they won't come back?
 
I can only comment on point 1.

My kids (now in high school) have missed 1+ month or more several times to visit overseas relatives or just go traveling. My philosophy has always been that the cultural enrichment would offset any school loss. Even up until grade 8, I've pulled them out for up to a month for trips. Keeping up on homework and assignments was always a priority, and in the end, they never really missed a beat.

In my opinion, as long as they are doing well in school, the academic impact will actually be positive. The schools have been nothing but supportive every time I've asked for an academic leave.
 
mcdreamy said:
However, I would be asking for some significant make up time upon their return - can you take 2-3 weeks in a row this summer and have them?
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I will have them for four weeks in the summer regardless; we split the summer holidays evenly. But I cannot take an additional 2-3 weeks of vacation, and I can rarely take more than 2 weeks consecutively.
Make up time would amount to about 10 overnights and 5 weeknight visits, based on our typical parenting arrangement.
 
mcdreamy said:
With kids in only SK and 2, I wouldn't be that concerned about them missing the month of June - particularly in favor of a family holiday overseas. If they were my kids, I would consent - what a fantastic opportunity for them.

However, I would be asking for some significant make up time upon their return - can you take 2-3 weeks in a row this summer and have them?
Click to expand...

Rioe said:
1) Missing a month of school is not a big deal at that level, especially for the kindergartner. The mother could arrange with the school to bring some homework projects for the older child to work on. Is she a good student, or struggling? June is generally more goofing around and field trips than it is learning.

2) Will they be in France? Contact the school, and find out what the policy is for an extended absence WITH an excuse.

3) Your ex could arrange to have the kids skype with you weekly during their trip. You could ask for an extended time with them in exchange during the summertime.

4) Irrelevant. Annoying, but irrelevant. If you want to address her employment, that would be something separate to this proposed holiday. You were wise not to bring it into this issue. I'm not sure why you're telling us, except that you may be wondering how she can afford a trip at all?

Personally, I think this sounds like the trip of a lifetime for them, and getting to know their extended family could be very beneficial. Do you have a fear they won't come back?
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My Gr 2 daughter is struggling in French immersion and with mathematics. We have had to hire a French tutor for her.

They will not be in France, but in South America. No, I don't have any fear that they would not return.

My ex's lack of employment may be irrelevant to a degree, and I agree it is a separate issue. However, the reason I mention it is that it is highly unlikely she would be able to leave for a month if she was working. She has not lived up to written (and verbal, in front of a judge) promises of being full time employed by now and I am struggling financially with CS and SS.
 
nogoingback said:
My Gr 2 daughter is struggling in French immersion and with mathematics. We have had to hire a French tutor for her.
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@nogoingback....I am glad to read that you have taken action to address the French immersion part of the problem, do either of you speak French? It blows my mind how parents put their kids thru this when neither speaks the language (I am speaking in general here).

Having lived closer to the province of Quebec and know some hard Francos, their kids go to a Francophone school first and speak French before English.

Onto the matter of Mathemeatics, I have found that if you don't catch that problem early and address it, it's not going to get better later. There are some deluded parents out there who think the school should be doing more and all the work. False people......you have a duty as parents to help your kids understand this subject, and if you can't, hire a tennager that is good in the subject and can deliver it in a friendly manner

Maths is not difficult, it just requires extra effort on the student / parent's 's part. I have helped a student having troubles in math go from a 30% to an 85%...it was all in the delivery and extra effort on their part.

So when kids are just sittinga round texting, facebooking or watching those crappy shows, pershaps they should be using that time wisely to deals with their deficiencies, with help from the parents .....is that too much to ask perhaps? English, Maths and Science are key subjects to be good at
 
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Rioe said:
1) Missing a month of school is not a big deal at that level, especially for the kindergartner. The mother could arrange with the school to bring some homework projects for the older child to work on. Is she a good student, or struggling? June is generally more goofing around and field trips than it is learning.

2) Will they be in France? Contact the school, and find out what the policy is for an extended absence WITH an excuse.

3) Your ex could arrange to have the kids skype with you weekly during their trip. You could ask for an extended time with them in exchange during the summertime.

4) Irrelevant. Annoying, but irrelevant. If you want to address her employment, that would be something separate to this proposed holiday. You were wise not to bring it into this issue. I'm not sure why you're telling us, except that you may be wondering how she can afford a trip at all?

Personally, I think this sounds like the trip of a lifetime for them, and getting to know their extended family could be very beneficial. Do you have a fear they won't come back?
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Well put and I agree!!

Bon Voyage to the kids - should be a rewarding and enriching experience for them!

I'm sure you will miss them, that the sucky part about divorce, but you can have make up time etc - you have to let them go (and do it with enthusiasm) in my opinion.
 
oink said:
@nogoingback....I am glad to read that you have taken action to address the French immersion part of the problem, do either of you speak French? It blows my mind how parents put their kids thru this when neither speaks the language (I am speaking in general here).
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My parents put me in French immersion as a child when neither of them spoke a word of it. It was one of the best things they did for me, as I am fluently bilingual as a result and it has opened a lot of doors for me. I think denying the opportunity for French immersion to a child just because you don't speak it is laziness on the part of the parent and detrimental to the child. Learning language in childhood is far easier for most people than in adulthood. Every child is different, of course, but it's better to have the child try, and remove them if it's too much struggle, than to never offer them the chance.
 
Rioe said:
My parents put me in French immersion as a child when neither of them spoke a word of it. It was one of the best things they did for me, as I am fluently bilingual as a result and it has opened a lot of doors for me. I think denying the opportunity for French immersion to a child just because you don't speak it is laziness on the part of the parent and detrimental to the child. Learning language in childhood is far easier for most people than in adulthood.
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My kids have been in French Immersion since JK. I quickly learned my French level when they surpassed their mother and I in Grade 3. It now appears they will both graduate HS with their French Immersion certificate... I'm amazed how they stuck with it.... peer pressure can be a good thing sometimes :cool:
 
SomeGuy said:
My kids have been in French Immersion since JK. I quickly learned my French level when they surpassed their mother and I in Grade 3. It now appears they will both graduate HS with their French Immersion certificate... I'm amazed how they stuck with it.... peer pressure can be a good thing sometimes :cool:
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On that note....let's apply the same analogy to kids working hard at getting a job in their teen years, and parents actually growing a pair and distinguishing between being a friend and a parent to their kids.

Yeah.....it's easy to learn a language in your younger years from first hand experience. I happen to speak 4 different kinds, so cry me a river :rolleyes:

Again....I am not saying deny the kid an opportunity, all I said if you can be arsed to read it again is that....it's not OK for the parents to just sit on their arse, and expect the schools to do all the work be it in French, Maths, Science, Music or whatever subject.

A common theme today with kids is...."oh that subject is hard, I don't want to do it, or Bobby that took it last year said it's difficult" :rolleyes: I once told a teenager to read the dictionary every night before going bed, in order to learn "new words". The response was....."who reads a dictionary"?

Yes....when it comes to education, I am very passionate and have zero tolerance for scallywags that shutdown so easily.
 
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