Struggling with a decision needed regarding my lawyer

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sjandme

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Do you think $10,000 is too much for one case conference and one formal meeting with OCL (recommendations communicated and discussed - status quo recommended (duh)).

I found my lawyer in the summer of 2011.

Case conference in spring of 2012.

OCL meeting in December 2012.

I've been asking for months for my lawyer's bill. He finally sent it in January 2013. I was shocked. He charges $250/hr. So that about $10,000 to date... with interest accruing.

I contacted 6 lawyers prior to choosing him. Lots of disappointment along the way (don't ask).

Anyway this lawyer is seasoned, smart but I feel that he's juggling me (a paying client) with others who get funded by Legal Aid. I sense he's really aware of the money I will receive once there is a property settlement - enough to pay him. He doesn't seem to care that there won't be enough to pay for a down payment on a modest home for me and my kids... that we are living well below the poverty line and that my job prospects are poor unfortunately and I need to preserve any money that should be coming to me.

He ignores many of my emails, bills me nevertheless, overlooks details already disclosed to him... so I have to repeatedly remind/correct him and then I get billed for that.

He has twice sent me correspondence pertaining to other cases... then he bills me for bringing the error to his attention. (Note: he doesn't have any staff.)

I'm in the dark, don't know what is next.

The issues are custody, forcing my spouse to comply with the court and disclose his financial information. (He's trying to reclaim inheritance money spent during our marriage with a couple of sneaky tricks... the immediate outcome is that I'm legally almost $200,000 in debt - loc spouse had set up and used just before I left in 2011).

Is it an 'out of the firepan into the fire' scenario? Should I keep him but only on a very, very tight legal leash (I mean my lawyer)? Or should I get another one asap? (I have a gnawing feeling that there is some deadline I don't know about for an application to the court.)

Final thing.... the last email I sent to my lawyer was mid-Jan. I told him that I had a problem with some of his charges... however, I'd have to get back to him because I had just learned that my closest friend had died unexpectedly. True to form... he didn't reply... no expression of sympathy. Guess it's all about the 'money, money':mad:..... for many lawyers.
 
$10,000 is fairly typical to get to that point. You could have kept it down by being strict with your lawyer about things like how many letters to send to the other party, how much time negotiating before taking the action of filing the application, writing as much of your material for your court papers as you can, limiting phone calls and emails to your lawyer.

Consider that when your lawyer sends out a letter they consult with you, they compose it, the assistant prepares it, they review it, it gets sent by courier to the other lawyer's office. It probably costs you $100 for a letter. Similarly, it probably costs you $25 for your lawyer to read an email from you, and another $25 to answer you.

If I were a lawyer I would probably bill you $50 for answering this post.

Lawyers cost money and a different lawyer would have cost you as much or more. You limit the cost by making sure that any activity is absolutely necessary. If sending a letter got no response, don't just send letter after letter. Move to the next step. Limit your communications and keep the communication you do have efficient.
 
The lawyer sounds like an ass-hat by what the OP has said.

And yes... It IS all about the money, money, money.

Why should you be billed for emails he sends in error? That doesn't even begin to adress the confidentiality issue - that he's sent you other client's case info.
 
That price is much lower than what I pay and have paid. I pay 3000 a day when in court for lawyer. For one short court conference and some letters, getting caught up on my file as I switched to him I paid 12,000 in 6 weeks. It is a lot of money but I expect much more, I was told to expect 50,000 for trial maybe 100,000. I am prepared for that as my children and their upbringing and happiness means more than mone!!
 
I don't know the specifics of your case. However, you might want to reassess. Address some of your emotional stuff before making any more decisions that might be costly - ultimately this could impact on your children's well being too - indirectly at least.

Incidentally, I don't think happiness has anything to do with material wealth after a certain point (basics covered, etc.).

In any case, I know that I would not be able to secure my children's well-being by spending our savings to fight hard.

Also my kids need a relatively happy mom - for their sake too.

I am no way going to spend every last penny to fight my husband in court. I do know that the real winner is the lawyer. I think if you've been doing family law for 20 or 30 years you can take the status quo for granted. Your income can be predictable enough if you decide to "work the system".

Oddly enough, I've heard that some lawyers can't even afford a lawyer if they want to get a divorce. Maybe that was a joke somewhere. If not, maybe those people will fight the most effectively for changes.

I think we need reforms to make this process less gnarly, less crazy. There are different categories here - some couples (both parties on board, reasonable) get divorced without experiencing a huge trauma. The system seems to work for that model maybe. Not for other situations. I don't know the answers. I just see how this is a HUGE problem currently - in other countries too.

I also hate that a lot of the arguing about divorce law seems to pit men against women. Who doesn't know good and bad spouses/parents of both sexes. It's not a he/she thing in my view.

Anyway... I am not going to let a cynical lawyer take advantage of me. I'm just trying to decide if I can still use his services or not - more on my terms. Some of the things he has done are questionable (e.g. sending a page from someone's case discussing a CAS report (nasty stuff)). His response to one of these mistakes was "oops".

I have a friend who has begun representing herself. Tons and tons of homework, picking people's brains it seems. And she did have legal representation for about 2 years prior. She can't afford a lawyer.
 
Thanks for your thoughts! I would NEVER EVER do anything to mess my childrens upbringing or to financially spend all my savings for court . My children do come first and their are many many issues. This is all related to custody of my children, there is no divorce or legal seperation involved with any of this. My family and I knew when we hired this lawyer for trial, he is expensive but he is good. I want the truth, facts and best interest of the children to be the whole focus of trial. I have wanted that and provided that the whole way through but the childrens father continues to play games and lies. Which does create stress for everyone and runs the bills up! There is so much more to this case but I do not feel it is appropriate discuss those details. When you mentioned for me to check myself emotionally, I have and honestly I am happy and content that I am not afraid of his threats and bullying anymore!!
I cost of court is frustrating and shouldn't be needed, but I cant control the fathers decisions. I am lucky to have the support and means to persue court. I actually have support from family members of my childrens Dad.
 
There is a book "Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcisstic Personality Disorder" by Bill Eddy (an attorney who was also a clinical social worker) and Randi Kreger.

They offer insights and advice if you are dealing with a particular type of personality - including someone who is simply a great manipulator. My husband is definitely a "high conflict" personality... other than that I'm not going to diagnose him or anyone. (Well I do know that he has a significant drinking problem - which is always sad... one way or another.)

I think your situation is a bit unusual for a few reasons. Good luck.
 
That should have been "narcissistic". I'm posting this in the middle of the night. I am an insomniac myself these days.
 
sjandme said:
There is a book "Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcisstic Personality Disorder" by Bill Eddy (an attorney who was also a clinical social worker) and Randi Kreger.

They offer insights and advice if you are dealing with a particular type of personality - including someone who is simply a great manipulator. My husband is definitely a "high conflict" personality... other than that I'm not going to diagnose him or anyone. (Well I do know that he has a significant drinking problem - which is always sad... one way or another.)

I think your situation is a bit unusual for a few reasons. Good luck.
Click to expand...

I just finished reading this book and it is an excellent read.

I'm now on Tug of War.
 
I read Tug of War. I like the author. But I do feel he is basically exasperated by the system he is part of.... It also feels that he is wagging his finger a lot. If you have one relatively reasonable/mature parent, but only one... that finger wagging comes across as irrelevant, not too helpful to that parent.

Reading CanLII cases, is definitely useful. Thanks.
 
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