Pursuinghappiness
New member
Fighting:
Like I said previously, we had 3 issues. We settled on 2 out of the 3 and I am perfectly willing to settle on the 3rd...I just know that its not going to happen. This nest egg that he considers his is literally his entire raison d'etre...he's almost psychotic about it. So he's being incredibly unreasonable to try to scare me into an unreasonable settlement.
He's used aggressive tactics designed to scare me all along. It hasn't worked but when all you have in your toolbox is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. He never understood that the best tactic to use with me is being docile not aggressive.
We're not talking about us having a small difference in how we're calculating here. Its night and day... He wants to double dip accounts. He wants to include accounts going into marriage and exclude them at the separation date. That's how the accounts were even discovered in the first place. He had told me during our marriage that he had lost the money...which I believed.
At this point, he's basically revealed the accounts exist but refuses to disclose the valuation date balances.
Now put yourself in my shoes. I made one blind offer to settle that I know was wayyyyy under what he will owe me at trial. He not only disregarded it, he came back telling me that I owe him money. The differences between our assets and lifestyles is clearly evident..and that's fine, he's entitled to live however he wants to....but I clearly do not owe him money. He has every retirement account we had in marriage...I have none...zero...and I worked full-time for over 20 years in a profession requiring a degree, training and large amounts of travel away from my children.
That sound right to you?
I realize that the golden rule is that its always better to settle and its almost always true...EXCEPT...in my case.
I will not do any worse at trial...even if I DON'T pick up costs with the numbers I already have...forget about the biggest undisclosed accounts that he's trying to keep to himself.
I'd like to have the mindset that its about our overall costs together and we're both taking money away from our children because on one hand, that's very true. But the reality is that when I can't pay my legal bill...when I can't retire...when I can't pay my kid's tuition...my ex won't be feeling that since he's sitting on hundreds of thousands of dollars in assets. On the contrary, he'd very much enjoy watching me go bankrupt.
Its not in my best interest to negotiate with a terrorist...and I'm going to negotiate in my best interest. There's nothing unjust or unfair in what I'm asking for.
Like I said previously, we had 3 issues. We settled on 2 out of the 3 and I am perfectly willing to settle on the 3rd...I just know that its not going to happen. This nest egg that he considers his is literally his entire raison d'etre...he's almost psychotic about it. So he's being incredibly unreasonable to try to scare me into an unreasonable settlement.
He's used aggressive tactics designed to scare me all along. It hasn't worked but when all you have in your toolbox is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. He never understood that the best tactic to use with me is being docile not aggressive.
We're not talking about us having a small difference in how we're calculating here. Its night and day... He wants to double dip accounts. He wants to include accounts going into marriage and exclude them at the separation date. That's how the accounts were even discovered in the first place. He had told me during our marriage that he had lost the money...which I believed.
At this point, he's basically revealed the accounts exist but refuses to disclose the valuation date balances.
Now put yourself in my shoes. I made one blind offer to settle that I know was wayyyyy under what he will owe me at trial. He not only disregarded it, he came back telling me that I owe him money. The differences between our assets and lifestyles is clearly evident..and that's fine, he's entitled to live however he wants to....but I clearly do not owe him money. He has every retirement account we had in marriage...I have none...zero...and I worked full-time for over 20 years in a profession requiring a degree, training and large amounts of travel away from my children.
That sound right to you?
I realize that the golden rule is that its always better to settle and its almost always true...EXCEPT...in my case.
I will not do any worse at trial...even if I DON'T pick up costs with the numbers I already have...forget about the biggest undisclosed accounts that he's trying to keep to himself.
I'd like to have the mindset that its about our overall costs together and we're both taking money away from our children because on one hand, that's very true. But the reality is that when I can't pay my legal bill...when I can't retire...when I can't pay my kid's tuition...my ex won't be feeling that since he's sitting on hundreds of thousands of dollars in assets. On the contrary, he'd very much enjoy watching me go bankrupt.
Its not in my best interest to negotiate with a terrorist...and I'm going to negotiate in my best interest. There's nothing unjust or unfair in what I'm asking for.
