Sticky Situation!

Status
Not open for further replies.
H

hurtdad

New member
So here's the gist of it.

On my birthday of last year (Aug 11) my ex decided to move back to her native town in New Brunswick with my two boys (then aged 3 and 1) which is 972km from my current location. She did so without my knowledge until 2 days later via text message, informing me I would not be able to pick up my children for visitation as she moved back "home". She claimed she had no choice but to do so due to the lack of support she was receiving here etc. I was basically told I was doomed for not drawing up a custody/seperation agreement prior. Okay so I goofed it huge I have paid so harshly for it now for almost a year.

I am now legally binded by FSOS of NB to pay 515 a month in child support, and no doubt they will be reassessing me this year in which I'll probably end up paying approximately 650 a month. So from that point I was left in the situation of slowly bleeding dry like most of the single fathers out there. I am literally weeks to months from bankruptcy because I can no longer stay afloat.

I haven't been able to see my children physically since October 1st 2011 because I simply cannot foot the cost of a minimum of 220 in gas to cover just the round trip, not including if we want to go places with the boys. then there is the cost of where we will stay, which costs about 650 for 7 days, food etc...it goes on. I am going to see them again May 5th for a week. Loads of money to be spent and then daddy has to go bankrupt.

I'm now suffering from depression and have been quite deeply for 6-7 months now and taking medication. (this is due to the loss of my children) I will probably lose my job due to unreliability once I don't have a vehicle (it's going to be repo'd). Will I be left on the hook for the child support still?

I've read into the imputed income etc and I understand I can't intentionally under-employ myself to avoid paying child support. But this isn't really intentional is it? I haven't much choice I mean they calculate approximately 25% of my gross income to child support, then the gov't take approx. 30% in taxes, then I still have to pay rent, car payment, insurance, gas, food, phone/internet to maintain communication with my children?? Well I've tried to do so for about 7 months and I am now losing everything worth money. When I tried explaining that to the enforcement officer at FSOS she said "not my problem".

So if I could potentially be losing my job, and assuming it isn't intentional on my part ( I assume in my case it wouldn't be intentional??) then should they not put the payments on hold until I find another job? She is on welfare in New Brunswick might I add..Moved there and went on welfare right away..And could I not in turn better myself then by going to school? I don't even have my high school education yet let alone college/university.

I have also thought somewhat on the idea of moving to New Brunwick with my new current girlfriend and doing the same as she did, only try and find a job instead of riding it out. I called social services in new brunswick and couldn't get a straight answer at all however lol.

Any help would be great!! I know there is a lot of information here, there is so much more I am wondering but I do not want to overload this too much in one night.
 
Unfortunately, the best thing to do would have been to go to court ASAP after she took off with the kids. There are emergency measures that would have likely seen them returned to their home city and you. And if not returned, then it would be her paying the travel costs for you to see them. Now, however as you have come to realize, your inaction will be interpreted as consent for her to move, and you have a huge status quo of them living in NB to fight having them returned to you.

But you need a proper separation agreement that outlines when and how you get access to your children, and who is to pay for it. The onus is usually on the parent who moved to pay the increased access costs of the other parent. So you might be able to work something like that out, or have your CS payments reduced to compensate for the increased access costs. The latter method would be better, as it relies less on her cooperation.

But yeah, moving to NB would be your best bet, assuming you can find a comparable job and care more about seeing your kids regularly than where you live.
 
Where I live does not matter to me, seeing my children regularly does. I am a fatherless child as my father abandoned me, so as you can see, this situation I am in has left me very devastated. My inactions from the beginning were do to the fact I could not afford a lawyer to get things done. I tried believe me I tried, I phoned many lawyers to get help and all wanted money. See we had our children in Hull, quebec. When we broke up I had to move to ottawa ontario because this is where my family is from. Literally 15 minutes from her house at the time. The lawyers kept telling me it was a quebec case, I'd go see a quebec lawyer and get sent back to ontario. I just fell drastically into a dark hole of depression from there. I'm finally on medication etc to deal with the depression...it's kind of helping..but I've fallen into a financial crisis..

I am about to lose my vehicle, which is my transportation to work, which means I'll lose my job. I'm legally binded to pay $520 a month in child support to FSOS..I've basically been scraping and borrowing to get by, now about to go bankrupt and lose my vehicle..i've no choice at this point but to do so. It seems to me that I will be held responsible for the $520 a month even if I lose my job? How is this a fair system? I can't afford a lawyer to help defend me and protect my rights, but I apparently make too much money to get legal aid.
 
I would move to NB and I would set a budget, work close to where you work... no car needed... get a low cost internet/phone or none at all... There are ways to cut costs and to make life easier. You support is based on your line 150, so you may not like having to live on less, but in theory you can afford it. It just depends how fast you can figure out how to live with these costs... The good thing about going bankrupt is that they will help you budget and move forward with your life. You will have no dept, they have a program to help you get a car etc... Also if the value of your car is less then a certain amount and youa re willing to pay the car payment it does not have to be counted in the bankruptcy... Is it hard, YES is it do-able YES... You can do it! Is it fair, NO she shouldn't have taken off, but she knew what she was doing and actioned it before you could figure it out.
 
but I have been reading that if I intentionally under-employ myself I could have my income imputed etc. It's all so very complicated. And yes she knew what she was doing and did it flawlessly. We were together for almost 7 years so she knew..I would love to move to new brunswick and get a job there etc but I am terrified they will still hold me to the same child support payments as I am binded to now. I can barely afford them now. The cost of living etc in new brunswick is lower therefore income is lower..I could never afford these costs.

I am too nervous to call the FSOS myself because I do not want to set off any alarms and have them think I'm trying to pull the old dead beat dad trick. I just wanna be with my kids in the end..My new girlfriend is willing to come with me and such which is great to have her support but I am a man who does not like to make a huge decision without it being a safe one..I dont wanna screw myself more than I am..if thats possible..
 
Does anyone know of any legislation or anything that may be of interest? I habe gone and printed off the federal child support guidelines regulations and the divorce act.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top