SS with good income

D

DivorceSucksCanada

New member
This is my first post. Trying to see the odds for getting SS.

2 kids (age 5&7)
Spouse income: $150K
My income: $100K
Together 12 years

Any chance or cases for SS that may assist? Or know if there is background evidence of not taking a new/different job with more stress/demands to ensure I was around for assisting children more as spouse climbed the corporate ladder/traveled for work.

SSAG shows 0/0/high end range number (say $500)
Read that sometimes they just take the mid range but in my case that would be $0. Does anyone ever get some/part of the high end range?

I searched/found some threads where it was deemed this salary range is self sufficient so may not apply but I know there are always exceptions to the rules. Trying to see if there is anything I can do to ensure in the end our take home is more 50/50 which would allow in my budget numbers for some of those extras for the kids (based on current expenses) like a vacation or some nice presents/birthday party. And yes, I know I make good money however the costs for housing/bills I have calculated are not leaving me a lot of wiggle room if I hope to stay in my area with the mortgage/bills, etc.
 
DivorceSucksCanada said:
Spouse income: $150K
My income: $100K
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...and you're hoping to stick him with SS? I'm guessing this is not an amicable separation :).

SSAG shows 0/0/high end range number (say $500)
Read that sometimes they just take the mid range but in my case that would be $0. Does anyone ever get some/part of the high end range?
Click to expand...
Obviously some people get something other than mid range, or there would be no reason to publish those values. You would like to have to show that your career was significantly impacted by raising the children.

Making employment choices that allowed you to assume a greater burden for child rearing in return for a lower income would certainly be a potential case for compensatory SS. The problem is, do you have any evidence? How much has your income producing ability been impacted?

How many years were you out of the workforce?

Is your ex often away for extended vacations?

What kind of custody arrangement are you anticipating for the child(ren)?

The last question shouldn't matter but it really really does.
 
Why not just state outright that you want the take-home to be 50/50, and let him try to argue why that is unfair?
 
all of the above reasons plus:

12 years is not a long-term marriage. I was awarded the high end as I was married 30 years. I was 54 years old at time of separation/divorce and too old to jump back into my former career and earn same amount had I not missed 30 years.

Do you meet criteria for "Rule of 65"? Add your age and years married - if it is greater than 65 you might have something....

If you did get SS it would be for a very limited time and likely not worth what you would have to spend on lawyer to take this through family court for several years.
 
something else to consider is that SS is 100% taxable to recipient and 100% tax deductible to payor....
 
Janus said:
...and you're hoping to stick him with SS? I'm guessing this is not an amicable separation :).

Obviously some people get something other than mid range, or there would be no reason to publish those values. You would like to have to show that your career was significantly impacted by raising the children.

Making employment choices that allowed you to assume a greater burden for child rearing in return for a lower income would certainly be a potential case for compensatory SS. The problem is, do you have any evidence? How much has your income producing ability been impacted?

How many years were you out of the workforce?

Is your ex often away for extended vacations?

What kind of custody arrangement are you anticipating for the child(ren)?

The last question shouldn't matter but it really really does.
Click to expand...

To answer your questions:
* I turned down a promotion for children.
* Only took off a year for mat leave for each child
* He used to travel about 25% of the time. This has stopped in the last year.
* Custody will be 50/50
 
arabian said:
all of the above reasons plus:

12 years is not a long-term marriage. I was awarded the high end as I was married 30 years. I was 54 years old at time of separation/divorce and too old to jump back into my former career and earn same amount had I not missed 30 years.

Do you meet criteria for "Rule of 65"? Add your age and years married - if it is greater than 65 you might have something....

If you did get SS it would be for a very limited time and likely not worth what you would have to spend on lawyer to take this through family court for several years.
Click to expand...

Thanks Arabian. I not at 65 rule - close though.
 
Also, was hoping for some SS to offset counseling and some other medical expenses that I won't get any coverage for so it would be beneficial in that regards.
I just want to be informed of any/all potential options that may be available to me as I start to navigate through this process and try to minimize change to my children.
 
DivorceSucksCanada said:
No, it will be 50/50 for custody so I won't be getting 25K a year from him. I would gladly take full custody if I could have it.
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oh wow this is why some men believe women are parasites. All you are worried about is the $$$$.

You have a good income, even with 50/50 he will most likely be paying you offset CS. You may have to downsize like he will probably have to also.

Forget about SS and work on a parenting plan with your ex for 50/50.
 
DivorceSucksCanada said:
No, it will be 50/50 for custody so I won't be getting 25K a year from him. I would gladly take full custody if I could have it.
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Wow

Its good to know you’re more worried about your standard of living versus best interest of the children.

You are an insult to fathers and mothers who make do on 1/4 of your income and don’t complain.

Counseling for the kids is covered as s7. Counseling for you can be covered through your employee EAP.
 
standing on the sidelines said:
oh wow this is why some men believe women are parasites. All you are worried about is the $$$$.

You have a good income, even with 50/50 he will most likely be paying you offset CS. You may have to downsize like he will probably have to also.

Forget about SS and work on a parenting plan with your ex for 50/50.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't care about additional income of getting the kids full time. They are my top priority and I worry every minute about not having them with me and the pain that they will endure when they are told what is happening (and for the record, I do not want a divorce and would do anything in my power to not have it be this way).

I would like to keep the house to not disrupt their lives at this point and give them some stability when all this comes out. That was my main purpose of trying to stay in it. If I can't work the numbers then so be it and we will make a new home wherever we end up.

Sadly, I won't be able to explain to them why we are divorcing under the circumstances.
 
rockscan said:
Wow

Its good to know you’re more worried about your standard of living versus best interest of the children.

You are an insult to fathers and mothers who make do on 1/4 of your income and don’t complain.

Counseling for the kids is covered as s7. Counseling for you can be covered through your employee EAP.
Click to expand...

I don't need much - I would be happy in many different places. I am trying to keep the stability for the kids to not disrupt them if I can at all do that to help them adjust. If I can't, then I will pack them up and move them.

For the record, I do not want the divorce at all and am heartbroken about this. My kids are going to be crushed when this is told to them and I can't explain it and why it is happening.

My EAP is useless and limited. I have already tried it unfortunately and basically got nothing out of it and asked for some additional help or referrals and was told that was it.

Thank you for the information about counseling for the kids as covered. I will be sure to have that included as that is of paramount importance to me for their future and how to best work through this with them as things unfold.
 
DivorceSucksCanada said:
No, it will be 50/50 for custody so I won't be getting 25K a year from him. I would gladly take full custody if I could have it.
Click to expand...

I think the wording of this comment was misinterpreted. It does initially come across as if you are saying you would gladly take full custody if you could get $25K from him. But I believe what you were actually saying is you would gladly have the kids all of the time if you could, not necessarily related to getting more money out of it.
 
blinkandimgone said:
I think the wording of this comment was misinterpreted. It does initially come across as if you are saying you would gladly take full custody if you could get $25K from him. But I believe what you were actually saying is you would gladly have the kids all of the time if you could, not necessarily related to getting more money out of it.
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Yes, I would die for my kids and can't imagine even not seeing them for a day. I have been through hell with all of this and there is much background I can't get into here. I just want to try to protect them going forward any way I can to try to make things okay for them as this will be devastating for them and myself. I imagined nothing other than growing old with my spouse and spoiling grandkids in retirement and traveling and enjoying life as we aged. Never did I see this happening.
 
You might want to carefully examine and compare your two health/dental plans carefully. Nothing like expensive orthodontics for children to send your budget awry. People end up on court over things like day/care and babysitter stuff... extracurricular expenses/hobbies they may want to participate in the future. Lessons can be very expensive. Travel for kid's interests as well as travel for school can also be a big deal in the future.

Moving to a new place can be hugely beneficial.. a new beginning of sorts. Don't become house-poor just because you want to stay in the home. Sometimes it's best to get house unloaded before lawyers get their pinkies involved.

Probably the best way to maintain financial sanity is for you to be able to communicate with your STBX and start drafting up agreements. If the two of you can come to agreement you will both save a ton of money as you will "instruct" your respective lawyers as opposed to being encouraged to fight in court... only winners when that happens are the lawyers.

Yes divorce sucks. However, now that you have made your decision you put one foot in front of the other and start planning for future... a better life...
 
Divorce and separation is difficult on children. I feel for you and the kids. Being a single parent is more difficult than I realized. I wished I had the 50/50 from the get go, yes it would be a hard adjustment for everyone at the beginning but in the end, I think it would be worth it.

Im guessing you havent told the children yet, and maybe waiting until after Christmas, best to tell them soon after while they have some time to wrap their brains around it, before going back to school.
 
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