Spouse not contributing to home expenses

J

Jinneebhat

New member
Its been 2 years that my wife has stopped contributing to home expenses including mortgage, kids education and utilities. She works full time and never shares her account information with me. We have 2 kids of 12 yrs

We are sleeping in different rooms and have sent a notice to start divorce through my lawyer.
She, on her side, is taking her sweet time to respond to my notices and even switching lawyers
I am getting fed up paying for all the above expenses while she spends the savings lavishly on her parents, friends and relatives buying them expensive gifts
Is there any impact if I stop my home mortgage payments and utilities and move to a neighboring rental property to continue the process ?
I understand that bank will approach and put down our credit score (house is in both of our name) but other than that, can she declare me to be abandoning duty as a father by not paying the bills? Definitely she is doing the same but I feel men always are always at a vulnerable spot to be blamed more for such actions?

Moving out of house will also help me shield away from her anger issues - she has already destroyed my office laptop and mobile after she received the notice to divorce
 
Don’t move out of the house especially if the kids are there.

You need to get your lawyer moving on this. Set a date for her to respond and if she delays, take it to court anyway. Your lawyer needs to stop dragging their heels.
 
rockscan said:
Don’t move out of the house especially if the kids are there.

You need to get your lawyer moving on this. Set a date for her to respond and if she delays, take it to court anyway. Your lawyer needs to stop dragging their heels.
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I understand going to court as a solution and my lawyer is also advising me the same.. but I heard once the case gets in court, there are rampant delays and expenses involved(and lawyers benefit). I just want to settle it out of court and I believe that I can make her bend more once I am out of her sphere of attacks
The kids are almost 13 and fairly independent in the neighborhood and I feel I will be able to stay connected
 
Jinneebhat said:
I understand going to court as a solution and my lawyer is also advising me the same.. but I heard once the case gets in court, there are rampant delays and expenses involved(and lawyers benefit). I just want to settle it out of court and I believe that I can make her bend more once I am out of her sphere of attacks
The kids are almost 13 and fairly independent in the neighborhood and I feel I will be able to stay connected
Click to expand...
Is there any impact if I stop my home mortgage payments and utilities and move to a neighboring rental property to continue the process ?

Can someone please reply to above?
 
Yes there are plenty of issues.

First your property will go into default and potential seizure by the bank which means you lose that asset. Second you run the risk of losing access to the property and your belongings. Third you risk your credit rating. Finally you risk an impact to your custody.

You need to have your lawyer move your case forward. Running away won’t solve it.
 
Like others have said, do not stop paying (if for no other reason than stability for your kids). DO keep a detailed account of the expenses you are paying that should otherwise be shared. I was in a similar situation, and after about a year the "overpayment" was significant. My lawyer negotiated to have that sum considered money owed to me, and it was used to reduce the equalization payment I was to pay.
 
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