Spousal support- without children

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Berner_Faith said:
But if he changes careers and has to take a paycut you would accuse him of being underemployed.
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Probably! ;)

I'm 50 years old. I better stay healthy, retrain for what? Changing careers would be hard to say the least, and if I lost my job I would be screwed. Forget theoretical spousal support, I wouldn't be able to support MYSELF.

I keep working and that's my only option.
Should never have brought it up!
Wow...
 
Berner_Faith said:
But if he changes careers and has to take a paycut you would accuse him of being underemployed.
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I am quite capable of expressing my own opinions.

I would only accuse him of being underemployed if he had flimsy medical information which does not support medical claims.

Changing careers doesn't always lead to paycuts.
 
Carnut said:
LOL
Walk away from a good job"??? How would I live??
I have had two very bad injuries in the last two years, three injuries in total, all to the same foot. I am working full time. I have no interest in "reducing hours worked" in any way shape or form. I have no interest in "walking away from a good job".

Where that kind of stuff comes from, it is beyond me.

Strange replies!!!
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I would be worried about the future of that foot. Two bad injuries and who knows what the future may bring with an already compromised foot. Getting old sucks:(
 
standing on the sidelines said:
I would be worried about the future of that foot. Two bad injuries and who knows what the future may bring with an already compromised foot. Getting old sucks:(
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That's the problem. I AM WORRIED!!!!

I am 50 and my ankles are not a "mild" problem. I don't think arabian gets it, or she thinks with bias. I am in jeapordy of losing my job/career if it happens again. I have thoruoghly documented medical reports from two years with pictures and x rays. Bad injuries. I might have to fight for spousal support for MYSELF.

If I can stay healthy I would be happy. I started this thread to find out if someone who is self sufficient and had a 50,000 a year job for the last 10 years could prove "entitlement" to spousal support, not about MY problems....
 
I do get it. Unfortunately court doesn't make support decisions about "what ifs." Spousal support certainly goes both ways. If you are unable to support yourself you certainly could make a motion to receive SS, which is gender neutral. You have documentation but just remember that it would not be unreasonable for OC (opposing counsel) to request independent medical assessment should you proceed with a motion.

I initially commented on your initial post. I believe we got side-tracked.

I would recommend going to an orthopedic surgeon for a consult. Having bone spurs removed is a big relief and better to have it done in your 50's rather than your 60s.
 
I now understand why Tayken left... too much bashing going on here for no reason. People are quick to judge and assume, rather than help. Everyone has there own views and experiences. Most men might take a man's perspective, and same for the girls. Noone thinks cs is bad or ss shouldn't be paid when there is legit entitlement. Let's stop wasting this thread on nonsense.
With all the people on this thread, if we focused on the question there should be lots of input for Carnut...

Although there is a difference in incomes, his ex still makes a large salary for a long time. Doesn't benefit from the previous household income, but is still quite self sufficient on her own.
Should she be entitled to ss? If you say yes, what amount and timeline would you put on it.
 
Thank you Happys Days.
Much appreciated.

I have researched and read, spousal support as I see it was intended to get a spouse self sufficient.
She has a good job, has had the same job for over 10 years, she makes over 50,000 a year. She is completely self sufficient.
Spousal support is not intended for increasing spending for a spouse's lifestyle as I read it.
It is to promote a disadvantaged partner an opportunity to gain self sufficiency, as it reads in the divorce act does it not?
 
You're right... it doesn't appear that she should be entitled, especially with a proper split of assets.

There are 2 sides to entitlement. The 'compensatory' side where she was disadvantaged during marriage and needs help being self sufficient. This is definitely not your case. The other side is the 'need or hardship' case resulting from the breakdown of the mariage. Is there anything there she can argue, like maybe she has a large debt or expenses that she can no longer afford to pay, where she will argue you have the ability to pay?

This is a good read for you on entitlement with income disparity, mainly section 4.1:

4. ENTITLEMENT - Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines July 2008
 
HappyDays said:
The other side is the 'need or hardship' case resulting from the breakdown of the mariage. Is there anything there she can argue, like maybe she has a large debt or expenses that she can no longer afford to pay, where she will argue you have the ability to pay?
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No, in fact quite the opposite imo.
My bank manager pulled our bank records, she has been pulling LARGE amounts of money out for years and stashing it away. I asked her about it and she said she was "repaying a loan" to a family member. We never borrowed any money from any family members. She was stashing over 500 a month towards the end, month after month. I know there is something in the divorce act about "willfully or wrecklessly" disposing of money, and that it can also be figured into things.
She has taken LARGE amounts of money over the years. Not hundred. Not a few thousand.
If things go amicably I probably won't even raise the issue to be honest, but she has a voracious taste for money, and if she goes for everything she possibly can, as I think she will, I want to be prepared in a legal sense.
I would rather have spent hundreds of thousands on marriage counselling truth be told, but I don't get to decide things.....
:(
 
I hate to be an "I told you so" but do keep us posted. I look forward to hearing the outcome of your case.
 
HappyDays said:
I now understand why Tayken left... too much bashing going on here for no reason. .
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Oh really? I believe Tayken posted his reasons for leaving the forum. He didn't mention "bashing" as a reason for leaving. What relevance does this have to this thread? MANY people have decided to quit posting on the forum. Is that something we care to discuss? Relevance?


This is a divorce forum. Issues relating to divorce are the topic.
 
Carnut - you should most certainly look at money in-money out. If you look the other way that is simply wrong.

You must be a high income earner for someone to be able to take over a "few thousand" every month from your account. I am confused though. I thought you were struggling? Wow a few extra g notes a month and you aren't going to make a big deal about it? Which way is it struggling or don't care?

Do you or the wife gamble?
 
His ex took large amounts, not just a few thousands, over the years. Not monthly.
Now you want to accuse him of gambling.
 
arabian said:
Carnut - you should most certainly look at money in-money out. If you look the other way that is simply wrong.

You must be a high income earner for someone to be able to take over a "few thousand" every month from your account. I am confused though. I thought you were struggling? Wow a few extra g notes a month and you aren't going to make a big deal about it? Which way is it struggling or don't care?

Do you or the wife gamble?
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the ex said she was paying off a relative but kinda sounds like she was either stashing it away for a nest egg after divorce, had a drug problem or gambled.
 
arabian said:
Carnut - you should most certainly look at money in-money out. If you look the other way that is simply wrong.

You must be a high income earner for someone to be able to take over a "few thousand" every month from your account. I am confused though. I thought you were struggling? Wow a few extra g notes a month and you aren't going to make a big deal about it? Which way is it struggling or don't care?

Do you or the wife gamble?
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I am not sure you "get" what happened with me, so I'll try to explain.
I make 80,000 a year. HARD work.
If that is "high income earner" it's your call.
I STILL LOVE MY WIFE. With all my heart.
She has spent our money over the years with total disregard to any input I have made. I should have a house fully paid off or very close at this time in my life, instead I have a FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLAR MORTGAGE. On a house worth less than 600,000. And house prices are dropping....
My mortgage payments are large, and my amortization has me working until I am 83 years old.
I have two very bad ankle injuries in the last two years. I am in jeapordy of losing my house, losing my job and losing my career. I'm sure my wife looked at these things, and made a decision to "bail".
She has an easy desk job that requires no physical effort, it's secure, she is 43, she makes good money. She wants to travel. I am assuming spousal support is not intended to allow one spouse the luxury to travel at will, but I can assure you that is most likely the aim here.
I cannot afford to toss thousands of dollars into the trash, but if I can get a TRULY FAIR separation agreement I would look the other way about details. I still love her with all my heart, unlike most people separating/divorcing I guess...?

I do not gamble. I have gotten up early in the morning to go to work for years, and came home and worked on our houses and vehicles late into the night those same years.
The bank statements show money has never come out from MY card for frivilous expenses, questionable expenses, etc. Her card has done tremendous damage over the years. Unbelievable amounts.
I've been asked if she gambles before, even my BANKER asked. I highly doubt it, I think she has been back dooring money to a family member for years. She said herself she was "paying back a loan" for the last couple years, because I have a couple years of bank statements printed. It shows the paper trail. We had no "loan", and I will ask her to show the deposit of the loan (amount, date etc) if taken to court. There was no loan.
I'm not an Ahole trying to ditch support or neglect a wife. I've been abused over the years and now my health/job are coming into play as I get older it seems to many she is going for a money grab.
I would spend endless dollars on marriage couselling, but she has no interest whatsoever, she just seems to want to see what she can get.
 
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