Currently looking at keeping my home and doing a spousal payout. If there is 100k equity in the home, should my ex get exactly 50k, or pay half of the closing costs (12k) that would be incurred if the home was actually sold?
I had the same question, and was told by my lawyer we could see about deducting the costs of selling a house from its equity. My ex talked to hers about it, and was told that it was ridiculous, and not to agree under any circumstances... Personally I opted to not fight over it, as that kind of money can get eaten up by lawyers in a few days, easily. Especially since our lawyers were telling us what we each wanted to hear. More conflict is a better payday for the lawyers.
Looking back at things objectively now, I think at best $1500 of the costs would have been split, at best, had the stars aligned and things gone my way. Costs can vary by cities/provinces of course (land transfer taxes and such) but if I remember correctly the main two costs for selling a house are Legal Fee's and Realtor Fee's.
Legal Costs are what, $500-$1500 of that, which is the portion that could be argued for splitting.
Realtor Costs on the other hand make up the bulk of the costs. Simply put... Who is forcing you to use a realtor? They save you a lot of work and time, but they aren't required.
Simplest and lowest conflict method would be to go with the exactly split of 50k. Or meeting in the middle, you can insist on splitting closing costs for now, with the intent of using it as a bargaining chip for something else, and concede it later in exchange for a concession on your Ex's part.