Splitting summer vacations - need advice

[singledad99]

We're supposed to share summer vacations half and half - I think that's pretty standard term but the problem is the court order does not specify how the split is going to be worked out.

I think week on and week off is fair and reasonable besides the point the our son would prefer it that way.

She wants a month at a time - sounds very illogical to me because she does not even have a reasonable place nor a bed to offer to my son.

Summer break is here but she has not confirmed my proposal nor made a counter proposal. I am working so I need to make arrangements for summer camps and also book my vacation time. She, by not moving fast enough, is creating difficulties for me.

What should I do?

Thank you in advance.

 

[Suchislife]

Splitting the summers...

Splitting the summers...

We too, have an unspecified court order stating "up to 28 days in the summer" as OUR access. Live & learn as we would now make sure the order specified dates to avoid the conflicts we've experienced.

The same goes for terms such as 'the balance of the Christmas holidays to be shared' and my favourite ~ "as agreed by the parties".

My partner (the NCF) hesitates to go to court to alter the order for two reasons. One, cost and two, having a strip torn off for appearing petty and/or wasting the courts time.

Some advice I can offer is a little late for this summer but we've found that booking holidays in the spring, putting said dates in writing and asking for a written response within 14 days, allows for some time for adjustment and still allows time to firm up some plans without being at the last minute.

If that doesn't work you could try asking for one month on and one month off so she could disagree and you'd GET one week ~ one week!

 

[DadofTwoGirls]

My issue is related but with a little twist. We have 50/50 custody/access. Agreement says request summer vacation before June 1. She did that. I didn't because of several changes in life circumstances.

When I did ask for one week (agreement allows for two) she refused three of the requested days. Then she said I could have the girls if I agreed to a Child Support adjustment as per a previous proposal by her. If I didn't agree then she would refuse the schedule change and not give me the passports.

Of course I refuse to link access issues with Child Support issues and I refuse to play this extortion game. So she is not allowing the schedule change.

Is it just me or is this at a minimum hostile and maybe illegal?

 

[singledad99]

It would be illegal if you did what she is doing. The access cannot be withheld because of support issues nor can you withhold the support because of access issues. But I guess in family law only the latter is enforced.

With everyday passing, I am hating the family law more and more. I can only imagine what my life would have been had she had the custody.

 

[logicalvelocity]

My issue is related but with a little twist. We have 50/50 custody/access. Agreement says request summer vacation before June 1. She did that. I didn't because of several changes in life circumstances.

When I did ask for one week (agreement allows for two) she refused three of the requested days. Then she said I could have the girls if I agreed to a Child Support adjustment as per a previous proposal by her. If I didn't agree then she would refuse the schedule change and not give me the passports.

Of course I refuse to link access issues with Child Support issues and I refuse to play this extortion game. So she is not allowing the schedule change.

Is it just me or is this at a minimum hostile and maybe illegal?

It is illegal. Parents are expected to obey orders and the issues are separate and apart. However, courts seldom punish parents for violating their orders. Most lawyers know this as so the strategy is often used as leverage.

Severing a child's access because of another reason is a demonstration of their ability to parent a child effectively. The move just isn't child centered.


lv