FightingForFamily
Member
Looking for some guidance on ways forward and seeing if my thinking is realistic.
I was divorced in 2011, payed SS for 3 years. Also paid table amount CS ever since for our one child, adjusted yearly. Also occasional S7 but nothing major. I have every other weekend access and joint legal custody.
Our child is turning 18 in a few months and will likely graduate from high school a few months later. He currently has no plans to attend post secondary nor is he working or volunteering anywhere. He is diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and ADHD. He's an odd bird but high functioning and has been able to complete a modified high school program. He takes several medications to help with his disabilities, but hasn't had any treatment, therapy or attended groups for his autism in several years.
After SS ended in 2014, ex opened a home daycare and ran that until last year. However, she is a licensed teacher and has since returned to teaching full time. This is her second year back in teaching.
Ex has excluded me from every decision despite joint custody. Interestingly she had a bad health scare earlier this year where she was in hospital for several weeks. However, I was never notified. My son (age 17) was left home on his own for most of that time to look after himself and pets. Ex's parents did see him daily, but never contacted me until it was my access weekend two weeks later. Notably it showed he is capable of some level of independence.
Shortly thereafter she and her parents tried to initiate the "he's disabled he will need financial support for the rest of his life" story. I have heard she has started the application for ODSP (Ontario Disability Support Program) for him to start receiving monthly support. Since she is already receiving a number of child disability benefits I am fairly sure he will qualify.
She has also started putting pressure on me to find something for him to do once he's completed high school. It feels very frustrating when she has stonewalled me from his life the entire time and reduced me to seeing him a few hours a month. Most of the programs for disabled adults are based around training to work a job, so the expectation is that he will have to find ways to contribute. I haven't responded to her request that I find programs
Other annoying facts: When we divorced I asked if we could both put some of the equalization aside into an RESP for him. She refused. Due to his diagnosis, she has access to an RDSP (registered disability savings account) where the government will match 100% of what is contributed. When I asked to make arrangements to contribute to it ten years ago, she refused to allow it.
Now he's turning 18 in a few months and suddenly she's looking in my direction for money for adult programs and living costs when the correct answer lied ten years in the past when all the money invested would have doubled or tripled by now plus matched by the government.
As our son is not severely disabled, my position is that he is not entitled to adult child support at all. Assuming that he will be receiving monthly ODSP, I did offer to discuss a budget where I would consider helping with specific expenses. However, he's not the "cash for life" lottery for her any more. If I continue to help at all, it will be on a voluntary basis for specific actual costs.
Obviously if he enrolls in any programs on a full-time basis we would follow the standard rules for child support.
However, if after 18 he sits at home and plays video games all day in her house while receiving ODSP, I don't believe I should be required to provide support.
Based on the limited case law I've seen, if it's adjudicated that he is still considered a child of the marriage, the amount of support I pay could be the difference between of his government benefits and the table amount of child support. For example, if I'm now paying $1100 per month and he started receiving $900 per month from ODSP, I would be expected to provide around $200 additional support.
I am worried about having a discussion with her without legal counsel. I am not quite sure what exactly she is looking for at this time. She has stated she believes child support should continue beyond 18 due to disability, which I disagree on. She may be seeking it until the age of 22 as opposed to indefinitely... it's really not clear.
I was divorced in 2011, payed SS for 3 years. Also paid table amount CS ever since for our one child, adjusted yearly. Also occasional S7 but nothing major. I have every other weekend access and joint legal custody.
Our child is turning 18 in a few months and will likely graduate from high school a few months later. He currently has no plans to attend post secondary nor is he working or volunteering anywhere. He is diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and ADHD. He's an odd bird but high functioning and has been able to complete a modified high school program. He takes several medications to help with his disabilities, but hasn't had any treatment, therapy or attended groups for his autism in several years.
After SS ended in 2014, ex opened a home daycare and ran that until last year. However, she is a licensed teacher and has since returned to teaching full time. This is her second year back in teaching.
Ex has excluded me from every decision despite joint custody. Interestingly she had a bad health scare earlier this year where she was in hospital for several weeks. However, I was never notified. My son (age 17) was left home on his own for most of that time to look after himself and pets. Ex's parents did see him daily, but never contacted me until it was my access weekend two weeks later. Notably it showed he is capable of some level of independence.
Shortly thereafter she and her parents tried to initiate the "he's disabled he will need financial support for the rest of his life" story. I have heard she has started the application for ODSP (Ontario Disability Support Program) for him to start receiving monthly support. Since she is already receiving a number of child disability benefits I am fairly sure he will qualify.
She has also started putting pressure on me to find something for him to do once he's completed high school. It feels very frustrating when she has stonewalled me from his life the entire time and reduced me to seeing him a few hours a month. Most of the programs for disabled adults are based around training to work a job, so the expectation is that he will have to find ways to contribute. I haven't responded to her request that I find programs
Other annoying facts: When we divorced I asked if we could both put some of the equalization aside into an RESP for him. She refused. Due to his diagnosis, she has access to an RDSP (registered disability savings account) where the government will match 100% of what is contributed. When I asked to make arrangements to contribute to it ten years ago, she refused to allow it.
Now he's turning 18 in a few months and suddenly she's looking in my direction for money for adult programs and living costs when the correct answer lied ten years in the past when all the money invested would have doubled or tripled by now plus matched by the government.
As our son is not severely disabled, my position is that he is not entitled to adult child support at all. Assuming that he will be receiving monthly ODSP, I did offer to discuss a budget where I would consider helping with specific expenses. However, he's not the "cash for life" lottery for her any more. If I continue to help at all, it will be on a voluntary basis for specific actual costs.
Obviously if he enrolls in any programs on a full-time basis we would follow the standard rules for child support.
However, if after 18 he sits at home and plays video games all day in her house while receiving ODSP, I don't believe I should be required to provide support.
Based on the limited case law I've seen, if it's adjudicated that he is still considered a child of the marriage, the amount of support I pay could be the difference between of his government benefits and the table amount of child support. For example, if I'm now paying $1100 per month and he started receiving $900 per month from ODSP, I would be expected to provide around $200 additional support.
I am worried about having a discussion with her without legal counsel. I am not quite sure what exactly she is looking for at this time. She has stated she believes child support should continue beyond 18 due to disability, which I disagree on. She may be seeking it until the age of 22 as opposed to indefinitely... it's really not clear.
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