son always sick

[dickstacie]

My son goes to his father's house 3 weekends a month. My son is always fine when he leaves, but comes home sick about 2 out of 3 weekends a month. Our son has asthma and even at the littlest of coughs, my ex dopes him up and gets him sucking on his puffers, even though I have repeatedly told him not to do this. My ex has never stayed home with our son when he is sick from school because that happens on my time. My ex called after dropping our son off on sunday and says to get him to blow his nose when he starts coughing, then proceeds to tell me that our son hasn't coughed all weekend. My son told me he can't breathe at his dad's house because of the wood stove and that's why he coughs. I can't take it anymore. My son is fine when he is here, but always sick at his father's. I don't know what to do. Does anybody know if I can legally do anything with this situation?

 

[singledad99]

Do you have a court order that outlines the custody and access? If you don't have a court order then I would suggest getting a court order first.

First thing I would do is to take my son to his doctor each time he comes home sick and have the doctor assess the real cause of his illness. It could be the wood stove or it could be simply not feeling comfortable being away from his usual bed. If the cause is really the wood stove then you should try convincing your ex to fix the problem. If the negotiation does not work, I believe then you have a reason to take him to court.

I have similar issues with my ex - she opens the windows at night because she is feeling hot while my son is sleeping in her bed. My son returns home with colds each time after weekend access. I asked my lawyer if I could have the overnight stay removed from her access. My lawyer's answer was that it would be very difficult to take overnight access away after I had already agreed to it at first place.

 

[dickstacie]

Hi, thanks for your reply..

We do have all issues taken care of by court order. Thanks for the advice, I will take my son to the doctor and see what they have to say. He has had allergy testing and many hospital visits because of his asthma. I know my brother has really bad asthma and he can't go into a house with a wood stove...

 

[tombiosis]

my little guy also has mild asthma that flares up occasionally, and I sometimes share your frustration of sending him off healthy and getting him back sick. I usually blame the illnesses he catches while with his mother on diet and lack of sleep. I know when he is with her it is a free for all on candy, chocolates, iced cream etc. etc., then up way too late playing way too much game cube or X-box or whatever...really frustrating to be sure. I don't think there is much you can do though, so be careful how you handle the situation.!
You would not want your ex telling you how to behave as a parent, so it is a very touchy situation...I wish I could offer better advice, as I am in the same boat. On the bright side, most childhood asthma is outgrown eventually...
Good Luck!
t.