Some advice if you are in front of a Judge esp. motion or trial

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danzuchy

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You may not realize this but they are watching you . They see everything from up there. Throughout the the motion the Judge was watching both of us intently. I didn't notice because I was watching the proceedings (lawyers). During this he caught my spouse looking at me in a "loathing" manner many times among other things including smiling during inappropriate testimony.

It pretty much sealed their fate, he said so in his ruling that their body language shows him that their was so much hate in them and insinuating that they were enjoying the cruelty inflicted on me. In a he said/she said type scenario Judges usually ignore the combatants words/documents and use other tactics to see what is happening. Body language is one of them. So don't roll your eyes, make faces, shake your head etc. in court. Remain calm and keep focused. They see everything from up there and they are watching.

the one lesson I have learned in family court is the Judges HATE disrespect in the courts or people defying their "recommendations".
 
Totally true. At my case conference the judge specificly stated where everyone should sit, and later I realized she wanted my ex and me sitting where she could see the reaction each made when the other was speaking so she had us sitting side by side. Good judges take their jobs seriously and they have decades of experience working as lawyers with clients before they became justices. They know every trick and all about human nature.
 
We were supposed to do our first CC as a teleconference, but the Judge said no as he wanted to meet us both. At the end he kept looking at my ex and said "I don't think I'm going to see you back here again. I think you're going to settle this. It's 90% about access. I think you're going to settle this" and he gave him and I some suggestions which I have tried to follow but the ex won't agree to them.
So instead of following what the Judge laid out for him and I the ex has completely changed what he wanted in the first place as he can't get it and has taken this as a chance to try to change almost all of our already in place divorce order. I won't agree to that so we're going back. I don't want to go back, but a little part of me wants to see what the Judge says to him. ;)
 
CycleDad said:
My sentiments exactly. I would love it if my Ex would speak her mind at court but her lawyer knows better than to let her
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My spouse requested to speak at a motin (!!!) despite the lawyer being there. The Judge asked my permission and I said go ahead. I watched the Judge roll his eyes at least three times.

The best thing that can happen to you is that your spouse addresses the Judge directly. Unless your spouse is a lawyer or very good at court procedures it will be a mess.
 
Great advice.

I wish I had known this before the judge caught me picking my nose at the trial management conference. Damn, could have saved a year of SS. :eek:
 
Well... if your materials are adequate, I believe a judge is likely to give you the benefit of the doubt.
I have heard other self repping ppl get admonished for poor materials, not filing/serving in time, etc. Just take the initiative and look up how everything is done - and do it in time.
Try to be reasonable and factually based in your arguements and see what happens.
 
wretchedotis said:
Well... if your materials are adequate, I believe a judge is likely to give you the benefit of the doubt.
I have heard other self repping ppl get admonished for poor materials, not filing/serving in time, etc. Just take the initiative and look up how everything is done - and do it in time.
Try to be reasonable and factually based in your arguements and see what happens.
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Oh, and one more thing. Wear a tie. Appropriate dress is advisable.
 
@ iceberg I don't agree. I think you should look as presentable as possible. Business formal. Suit and tie or at least tie and blazer, not sure what women should wear. I think if you are wearing a tux or an evening dress to court would I think it is too classy.
 
Women should wear professional type office clothes. Not appropriate to appear in court looking like you're going on a date to impress. :-)
 
You could be right CycleDad. A father said when he went to court for child custody (and won shared custody) he dressed according to him just like a regular guy, pants, west and so on but said avoid suit and ties.

Maybe he had a lawyer though.
 
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