So...what will happen if

[May_May]

Just an update...I've decided I'm showing up with a suitcase Sunday, and moving back in. So...every other week when it's my turn with our boys, I'm going to spend it in our 'marital' house. Hoping that if he has no 'free/alone' time with his gf that it might push him to give me my buy out for the house !!! wish me luck...I bought a lock and an audio recorder.

MM; do you know any cops that you could ask off the record, what their policy is, on this? Or anyone who knows a cop that can ask for you?

Hadenough-I do (a good friend actually), but it is more of my husbands friend so I'm avoiding asking him. Also he works in our town so he might be in a bad position if he's called to the house.

If you don't have that order then get one asap. Of course you should have a witness and document everything carefully. Don't let the police blow you off because it is a civil matter. You pay taxes and your name is on the title of the house. Police know your ex would have to get order for exclusive use of home, etc.

Good luck.... you're right to be intimidated as it wouldn't be hard for your ex to set you up for some bogus charges.

Arabian-No I don't have that order. Yes I am intimdated by my ex. I don't want much from the house (mostly just my share of the $ we've paid off already). But from a 'furniture/household goods' perspective...my mother helped me out and furnished this leased house. I just have some 'gifts' from my family, and big items I brought back from S.Africa when I volunteered a couple of years ago.

I believe you must have a police escort otherwise you are trespassing even though your name is on the mortgage.

Thanks Jevans...we'll find out on Sunday when I move back !

so why not get exclusive possession of the house for yourself????
Are you still paying on the mortgage?

Cynthia-My ex and his lawyer sent a response to my lawyer that he will buy me out. As of August 2011 I stopped paying on the mortgage as per the notice from my lawyer to his. No complaints about it.

My bf's ex moved out of the house for months then sent him notice that she was moving back in. He couldn't stop her - it was her house too.

CSAngel-that's what I'm going to do this week-end !

Your only other alternative is to show up one day and move back into your own house as you do have the right to live there too.

ddol=that's what I'm hoping-Moving back in on Sunday !

In conclusion, May-May, DO NOT go in to get your stuff, patience patience. I understand your reluctance to go in with the police, I wouldn't either. It's all about his control over you, let it roll off your skin. I know money is tight, freedom does have a price... but it does get better! Hang in there, remember it's a legal game you are playing.

Torontonian-I'm so frustrated.l I've been playing the legal game for over a year and it's gotten me nowhere !

When my ex and I seperated, she wouldn't even let me have clothes for the kid from the home. Had to buy all new stuff.

Wretched-what's that saying folks have had on her ? "You can't change stupid." We are both dealing with that.

All that matters to them is what they feel.

SOS_Spot on !

I did this. I sent him a letter telling him what I wanted, told him it would be easier if he just got it ready for me if he didn't want me rooting around the house for stuff. If he sells anything, he owes you money for it. I believe it's something like 60% of the purchase cost of an item. He CAN NOT do what he is doing. Especially since the house is yours as well. My ex didn't want police involved so he just got it all ready for me.
You can't let him bully you. Take the reigns back and be pushy. Plan your attack, get police on standby, let him know what is about to happen and do it!

This post is making me relive my experience and I'm getting angry for you. What a total dick he is!!

Thanks Court-Yours is a backup/next plan if I get booted out on Sunday when I try to move back in ! He wouldn't give me a $40 plastic table from the garage the other week-end...so I told him I'll easily take one of the oak ones from the house...idiot

"Withholding Behavior" is typically all about Power and Control. Either feeling too entitled to it - or just the opposite, feeling a total lack of it thereby resulting in the bizarre behavior pattern. /QUOTE]
Hadenough-Agreed. In this case it's about power and control and false entitlement. He has told all our friends I wiped out the house...but in a year and half he hasn't let any of them in the door/invited them over because it's fully furnished still ! Imagine...

You could move in a room mate or with one. That might make him be a bit more reasonable.

F&M-Can you imagine ! 9111

Sounds very frustrating May May. Who's been maintaining the mortgage for the last 1.5 years? Has he been paying you occupational rent?

CanadaGold-Last August my lawyer sent comm. to his that I was stopping paying as he indicated he would buy me out (confirmed from his lawyer). So he is paying the low mortgage right now. I don't know about occupational rent ? What is this ? how does it work ?

 

[HappyMomma]

Go May May!!!!

Let us know how it goes!!! And don't wimp out! We're here if you need the emotional support!

 

[hadenough]

Jeepers! I think you should stop by the police stn and ask to speak to someone. Advise of what you are doing and why - just to give them heads up. Is this a bad idea, anyone??

Please do not go there alone. Definitely have recording device and GOOD LUCK.

I know this is a bold move - not an easy decision. Please be very vigilant. He might flip! I have no personal experience with what you're doing like some of the others do ^^ Sorry.

 

[Mess]

May, wow! There are two situations to consider, the interpersonal and the legal.

Legally, if you have or had another residence, then this house is no longer your legal residence. You give up right of occupancy when you do things like sign a lease or update your driver's license.

As far as interpersonal goes, it's up to him whether he calls the police or tries to evict you, or decides to sort things out. It may work or it may not.

Back to legal. You are NOT trespassing, you still have title to the home. What you don't have is right of occupancy. A similar situation would be if you owned a house and rented it to a tenant. You couldn't just move in with the tenant the day you felt like it.

There is no criminial code section that you can be charged under for being in the house. However there are civil law recourses he could take, like getting an eviction notice or an order of sole possession (you are giving him ammunition for a sole possesion order) or some level of restraining order. If you insist on entering and staying in the house when he says you can't, he can get a restraining order.

Having said that, I totally remember the fact that he has refused to give you your personal possessions like your jewelry. He is outside the law on that. You have a lot of counter-suits you could file.

If you go in and take what is yours, you are not breaking the law. Some posters have said that, but there is no section of the Criminal Code you are breaking by taking your own possessions. I would highly recommend you have more than a voice recorder, have a video recorder running non-stop, film yourself (or have a friend with you) sorting your own possessions and packing them and removing them. This protects you from FALSE accusations. He can make accusations and try to have you charged; you need to be able to SHOW that what you took was your own property.

Showing up with a suitcase is a bold move. It will make a point and possibly wake him up. You know him better than we do. However if he tells you to leave, you are on shaky ground because this house is no longer your residence in a legal sense. You have REASONABLE right of entry due to being a title-holder/owner, but not unlimited access or a right to move in.