shared parenting

[blinkandimgone]

You're too optimistic, SOTS, lol. She went on her little rampage starting on her second post here and hasn't stopped since. Best to just let her vent it out I think and when she tires of people ignoring her because of her attitude eventually she will probably go away. I suspect that's what happens in her personal life which is why she's seeking the attention here.

 

[cande26]

Thanks blink. I could not believe that she would attack me for a post that pointed out that they should each give each other some leeway. Not once did I say she was a bad mother or anything.

sorry, someone needs to tell me how i was attacking you. i do believe i thanked you for your attempt to help. ?? then i stated my opinion that people on this site have an axe to grind. i figured with the nod of appreciation you might understand i wasn't referring to you. i wasn't saying you had an axe to grind. is that what you thought i was attacking you about?
i'm sorry if it came off that way. again, i was trying to thank you.

 

[logicalvelocity]

it's clear who turned this post to shit.

you just keep letting it happen..i guess it's entertaining for you?

Yes - Collectively, as a forum, we learn lots from you on information you provide. It re-enforces our own views.

 

[standing on the sidelines]

if you can't find something relevant to say - just don't say it. it's unnecessary, not to mention annoying as hell.

so what did this mean then? I offered some advice that was relevant to the conversation. Then you call my advice annoying. This is not you saying thanks at all.

 

[cande26]

so what did this mean then? I offered some advice that was relevant to the conversation. Then you call my advice annoying. This is not you saying thanks at all.

that was directed to blink. most definitely not to you.

 

[standing on the sidelines]

You're too optimistic, SOTS, lol. She went on her little rampage starting on her second post here and hasn't stopped since. Best to just let her vent it out I think and when she tires of people ignoring her because of her attitude eventually she will probably go away. I suspect that's what happens in her personal life which is why she's seeking the attention here.

gotta agree with you there. I was hoping that eventually her mind would open to new ideas and suggestions. She needs to let some of the hate and anger go. Once she is able to do that she may find herself a bit more calmer and rational.

 

[standing on the sidelines]

that was directed to blink. most definitely not to you.

you quoted me and no where in the post did you say it was directed at blink.

 

[cande26]

uhmm. yes, i appreciate nobody is perfect - especially when it comes to parenting. i don't micro-manage, in fact i have a firm understanding that he needs to find his own way with her and she with him..that's what bonding is about. i'm clear on all of that..i guess i must not sound like i am. or perhaps people are just assuming that i'm an over-bearing mother who thinks she's better than the father? i don't think i've portrayed that in any of the posts under shared parenting, so i'm not sure what some people's problems are.
what i need help with is the part about the time-split he's asking for. does it sound reasonable?
and please, if you can't find something relevant to say - just don't say it. it's unnecessary, not to mention annoying as hell.

it's clear to me that i was talking about your post, then asked you about the time-splitting then requested anyone who doesn't have anything relevant to say (blink) please don't say it.
it's obvious that what i said is true. i was talking to you then told blink to keep out of it. blink couldn't keep out of it because she never can, so that's when i thanked you kindly for trying to help and started wasting my time with blink.
believe it or don't, i'm just sayin'....

 

[logicalvelocity]

Back pedaling .... which is okay.

 

[cande26]

Back pedaling .... which is okay.

point taken.

 

[logicalvelocity]

point taken.

We learn from each other around here.

 

[cande26]

You're too optimistic, SOTS, lol. She went on her little rampage starting on her second post here and hasn't stopped since. Best to just let her vent it out I think and when she tires of people ignoring her because of her attitude eventually she will probably go away. I suspect that's what happens in her personal life which is why she's seeking the attention here.

have you ever heard the saying that what you think of other people is really just a mirror image of yourself? i think you just described your own life.. i've noticed in your posts that you say the same things to everybody. accusing them of being self-righteous, thinking they're better than everyone when they're not trying to be that way. you talk about what impact they will have on their kids' lives. your mirror image becomes crystal clear. so, i'm sorry for whatever it is that you went through or are going through.
maybe you don't see it but i think subconsciously you seek out the fight because it's all you know. this site is like a candy store for you.
it's sad.

 

[logicalvelocity]

have you ever heard the saying that what you think of other people is really just a mirror image of yourself? i think you just described your own life.. i've noticed in your posts that you say the same things to everybody. accusing them of being self-righteous, thinking they're better than everyone when they're not trying to be that way. you talk about what impact they will have on their kids' lives. your mirror image becomes crystal clear. so, i'm sorry for whatever it is that you went through or are going through.
maybe you don't see it but i think subconsciously you seek out the fight because it's all you know. this site is like a candy store for you.
it's sad.

Blinks question was valid nor insulting. It was not attacking but relevant. But, because you failed to answer - a presumption can be made.

 

[cande26]

Blinks question was valid nor insulting. It was not attacking but relevant. But, because you failed to answer - a presumption can be made.

i see what you're saying. i saw no point to what she said except to throw in attitude. she doesn't have to be offensive, but she is. if people want to be respected they should try showing respect. if she can accept that she came at me offensively with her so-called point, then fine. but she thinks she does no wrong then claims it's everyone else who is ignorant to their own actions. somebody point out something i don't already know, without attitude and i'm as respectful as they come. as i tried to be with stos, backfired in my face.
and, i'm sorry but what presumptions can be made about my kids eventually choosing to not be with me because i don't think blink has anything relevant to say? i'm all ears on that one...

 

[cande26]

Blinks question was valid nor insulting. It was not attacking but relevant. But, because you failed to answer - a presumption can be made.

all that aside, it's a fact that blink has a habit of accusing posters of the same character flaws that she posesses herself. and she starts accusing when the person disagrees with, or ignores what she has said. i'm just saying maybe it's time she looks in the mirror..

 

[blinkandimgone]

i see what you're saying. i saw no point to what she said except to throw in attitude. she doesn't have to be offensive, but she is. if people want to be respected they should try showing respect. if she can accept that she came at me offensively with her so-called point, then fine. but she thinks she does no wrong then claims it's everyone else who is ignorant to their own actions. somebody point out something i don't already know, without attitude and i'm as respectful as they come. as i tried to be with stos, backfired in my face.
and, i'm sorry but what presumptions can be made about my kids eventually choosing to not be with me because i don't think blink has anything relevant to say? i'm all ears on that one...

I've already said I don't care if you respect me or not. I'm offensive? In your own words.......

The courts don't seem to care what an asshole he is, they only care that he is allowed to be in his daughter's life.

I deal with an ignorant douche like you almost every day.

I am an excellent mother. I've spent thousands on my lawyer and have had to accept that this douchebag isnt' going anywhere.

mess, dadtotheend, blinkandimgone,epinecone, standing on the sidelines.. you guys are all over this site with your bullshit. and that's mostly all it is.

My personal favourite here:

when your opinions deviate from what was originally posted, why can't you just keep your mouths shut?

honey - i would dare you to say something like that to my face. you're an insulting and ignorant cad.

you are a faceless coward.

obviously you have to be a dickhead to fit in around here.

blink - you're obviously the pussy you've posted as your pic.

Interesting indeed. It's been pointed out to you by multiple posters that you seem to assume that because you posess the uterus that bore the child that you own the child and get to control her father because you own the child. Every time it's been suggested to you that this is in fact NOT true you go off on some foul mouthed tantrum and attack anyone and everyone who responds to you.

Everyone else is wrong wrong wrong and you are the only one who is right. You said so your self, if posters don't agree with your opinion then you've ordered them not to post in your threads. Unfortunately for you, you've nothing to hold over our heads the way you hold your child over her father's head to control him.

You consistently use phrases like 'i ALLOW my child's father in her life', 'I DECIDED to increase his access to his child' and even after it being pointed out to you repeatedly that your language in both these phrases and the quotes above are offensive, you continue to trumpet how proud of yourself you are for it when in reality the fact that you even use the terms you do when speaking about your child's father is the lowest of low when it comes to parenting. You're using your child as a pawn to control her father, perhaps because he left you, perhaps because you feel your life is so out of control that you have the need to control whatever you can by whatever means possible, regardless of the effects it has on those around you, who knows.

It's been pointed out to you quite blatantly many times by numerous posters but you insist everyone else MUST be wrong and want to focus on me. Your attitude is disgusting in regards to your child - also pointed out by numerous posters - which is why you're getting the responses you are.

If you don't get it by now, considering the multiple ways it's been put out to you, you never will. If you want to focus on me, go right ahead - you're the only one who cares so much. Carry on with your bashing if it makes you feel better.

 

[Mess]

i guess i might be more comfortable with his intentions if he wasn't also asking for his support payments to be terminated at a year old.
any advice?

the feeling it's about the money more than it is about raising her equally.

How is he asking for the support to end? Is it because of the set-off calculations? If your incomes are similar, then yes you would effectively be paying each other.

His support doesn't end, he is supporting her and paying for as much as you are while she is with him on a 50/50 basis. In many cases a parent will spend more with the child living 50/50 than they would if they were paying support. The difference is he is spending the money directly on the child while she is with him, instead of giving it to you to spend when she is with you. It's not likely he is saving money, he is spending time with her, caring for her and raising her. That is the difference.

If your incomes are widely different then he won't stop paying support.

 

[logicalvelocity]

all that aside, it's a fact that blink has a habit of accusing posters of the same character flaws that she posesses herself. and she starts accusing when the person disagrees with, or ignores what she has said. i'm just saying maybe it's time she looks in the mirror..

The title of your thread is Shared Parenting. Blinks question was valid. Gender aside, One learns to parent by parenting in itself. Primary Caregiver presumption has been replaced with Bond and Stability and whats best for the child. It's a present future consideration. Empirical research suggests your child has most likely bonded with both parents at around 6 months of age.

 

[cande26]

The title of your thread is Shared Parenting. Blinks question was valid. Gender aside, One learns to parent by parenting in itself. Primary Caregiver presumption has been replaced with Bond and Stability and whats best for the child. It's a present future consideration. Empirical research suggests your child has most likely bonded with both parents at around 6 months of age.

ok. YOUR opinion is that her point was valid. HER opinion is, well, she thinks everything she says is valid..... but MY opinion is that it was irrelevant.

 

[cande26]

How is he asking for the support to end? Is it because of the set-off calculations? If your incomes are similar, then yes you would effectively be paying each other.

His support doesn't end, he is supporting her and paying for as much as you are while she is with him on a 50/50 basis. In many cases a parent will spend more with the child living 50/50 than they would if they were paying support. The difference is he is spending the money directly on the child while she is with him, instead of giving it to you to spend when she is with you. It's not likely he is saving money, he is spending time with her, caring for her and raising her. That is the difference.

If your incomes are widely different then he won't stop paying support.

no. the incomes are pretty similar.
i question his motives but i also wonder what questioning his motives will accomplish. maybe i'm just looking for a reason to hang on to her because i'm so scared to let her go.