My ex and I just completed our trial managment yesterday and the issues (on his side are money). We both agree so far to joint cared custody. The equalization etc is an issue which at one time was mutally agreed and he has changed his mind. Going into to TM he has for the first time brought to the table me paying child and spousal support despite the 50-50 custody in two and half years. We both work for the federal gov't and both make sufficient money to support our son on our own....because he has hefty lawyers bills I don't think i should be responsible to pay his way although I understand this is a law that people are permitted to ask. I make about $20000 more than he but I also have another daughter to support and my own debts to pay. He lives a rather full personal life at that. Has anyone gone through a similar scenerio, paying child and spousal support while having 50-50 custody and care to share their experience? We both worked during the marriage and both continue to work now and we have trial in sept 2010. I was willing to settle, he is not now due to child support and money issues.
Shared Custody and Child Support
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In 99% of situations fathers earn more than mothers and fathers pay support even though the mother may earn more than enough to support the child.
This is true even when the father is supporting a child from another relationship.
You are arguing that the rules for everyone else should not apply to you but you are not giving any reasons for that.
I'm not being harsh, you are going to court and you have to give reasons, not just complain that he earns enough to get by so you shouldn't have to pay.
This is true even when the father is supporting a child from another relationship.
You are arguing that the rules for everyone else should not apply to you but you are not giving any reasons for that.
I'm not being harsh, you are going to court and you have to give reasons, not just complain that he earns enough to get by so you shouldn't have to pay.
NBDad
New member
Legally you don't have a leg to stand on. If he pursues it at trial, you will most likely lose on the CS issue.
The standard interpretation in a 50-50 situation is that you take what you would pay him (using the Federal child support tables), what HE would pay you, subtract the smaller from the larger and the pay out the difference.
There are other ways of doing this, IF both sides can agree...however it sounds like he won't.
Having additional children has ZERO impact on this, unless you are claiming undue hardship, which is extremely difficult to do.
Child support is a lock for him if he decides to pursue it and has a halfway competent lawyer. Your best bet to minimize the financial impact is to settle up with him on that part. He is VERY likely to win.
However in regards to spousal support, he doesn't sound like he has a claim. Unless he made sacrifices for YOUR career (over his own) and can prove it, then he fails the standard "entitlement check" that this is supposed to go through.
Make sure the equalization is done correctly (ie. takes things like pensions into account) and settle up on CS. Refuse SS on the grounds he made no sacrifices for your career and thus has no established entitlement. Then if he pursues trial, you ask for costs given he had a reasonable offer on the table and refused it.
The standard interpretation in a 50-50 situation is that you take what you would pay him (using the Federal child support tables), what HE would pay you, subtract the smaller from the larger and the pay out the difference.
There are other ways of doing this, IF both sides can agree...however it sounds like he won't.
Having additional children has ZERO impact on this, unless you are claiming undue hardship, which is extremely difficult to do.
Child support is a lock for him if he decides to pursue it and has a halfway competent lawyer. Your best bet to minimize the financial impact is to settle up with him on that part. He is VERY likely to win.
However in regards to spousal support, he doesn't sound like he has a claim. Unless he made sacrifices for YOUR career (over his own) and can prove it, then he fails the standard "entitlement check" that this is supposed to go through.
Make sure the equalization is done correctly (ie. takes things like pensions into account) and settle up on CS. Refuse SS on the grounds he made no sacrifices for your career and thus has no established entitlement. Then if he pursues trial, you ask for costs given he had a reasonable offer on the table and refused it.
In regards to all the child support especially in a shared 50-50 I don't know all the rules, that's why I was asking. I do understand it's a possibility, but I have also heard by a few people that due to their own circumstances etc it was never awarded. I am in the process of obtaining a lawyer to get through this part but thought I would ask in this forum in the meantime.
Thanks
Thanks
NBDad
New member
It CAN be dependent on circumstances to some extent. The judges are legally NOT supposed to sign off on any agreement that indicates "no CS". That being said it DOES happen occasionally. (Usually when the "payor" is unemployed or on welfare/social assistance/disability/etc).
The only other time I've seen a "no support" order is where there are substantial access costs incurred by the payor, OR where both parties make almost identical amounts. (in which case it's NOT that the CS is not paid, it's just that the offset method essentially zero's itself out)
You CAN make alternate arrangements, but again, that requires both sides to be amicable. From what you describe he's not willing to do so.
The only other time I've seen a "no support" order is where there are substantial access costs incurred by the payor, OR where both parties make almost identical amounts. (in which case it's NOT that the CS is not paid, it's just that the offset method essentially zero's itself out)
You CAN make alternate arrangements, but again, that requires both sides to be amicable. From what you describe he's not willing to do so.
THanks for your replies NB....as many other scenerios of divorce there is alot to this one. I guess the only thing I can do is obtain my lawyer give him the info and go from there. He also claimed to be the 'inhouse father' of my daughter, and rightfully reminded us of that often. I wondered if there may be an offset for him paying support for her as he says he took day to day responsibility for her. We both work at the same place of employment where are income is openly communicated in the collective agreement. I make not quite 15000 more than him (lower than I expected) and he has had many opportunities to work overtime to increase his wage if needed and over the years has opted not to. I do understand that the law is there to provide for children under both parents, but he provides for our son when he is with him just fine as well as for himself with sporting events and trips away often.....my money will serve as nothing but him getting back at me, and my son definately does not go without when he's with me. I am just thinking there has got to be some way for this to be shown that with our 50-50 arrangment our son goes without in either home and this is pure vengance on my spouse (who was abusive) part.
Berner_Faith
New member
Good question NBDad... another question though... what if he made more than you? Would you not expect him to pay your CS?
Going to trial over this is risky, he will most likely win, as even in 50/50 arrangements CS is often paid, and you may be stuck with his costs...
first timer
New member
I have 50/50 shared custody; we do the offset amount for CS: my amount minus her amount equals monthly CS of $154; like you our incomes are very close so no SS; I would not go to court over the amount I am paying;
Not sure my ex would do the same considering every time I overpaid she sent email requests to ignore what is in our Separation Agreement regarding overpayments; since it cost me $20,000 plus and 2 years to get a fair agreement, I decline her requests to not recoup overpayments.
Not sure my ex would do the same considering every time I overpaid she sent email requests to ignore what is in our Separation Agreement regarding overpayments; since it cost me $20,000 plus and 2 years to get a fair agreement, I decline her requests to not recoup overpayments.
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You are focusing on what CS should be today, based on today's incomes. But I think it more important that you come to some agreement on how CS will be determined 3 years, 7 years down the road as your incomes change. THAT should then determine how today's CS is calculated.
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