Served with a motion

Leviathan

Leviathan

New member
Ok, so the latest update?? The stbx's lawyer has served me with a motion stating the voluntary interim support $$ I've been sending the stbx, isn't enough.

The 18 year old daughter (which isn't biologically mine) has recently graduated hs (adult hs) to get the remainder of her credits. Apparently now, the daughter needs to go back to the adult hs to take some additional credits so she can attend local college.

To add to this, the daughter has recently come down with some health issues (which the drs can't determine) and the stbx's lawyer states this is the main reason that cs (or as my lawyer and i have stated...temporary interim support) should be increased!!

What now??? Any advice??
 
Do you have an order requiring you to pay anything for the adult daughter?
In the absence of an actual order, you should be paying support based on what you believe it the proper outcome.

If you do not believe the adult daughter should be supported, then you should not be paying ANYTHING for her.
 
NBDad said:
Do you have an order requiring you to pay anything for the adult daughter?
In the absence of an actual order, you should be paying support based on what you believe it the proper outcome.

If you do not believe the adult daughter should be supported, then you should not be paying ANYTHING for her.
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No...no order at all. I don't believe I should be paying anything at all but because I filled the role of in loco parentis, I'm feeling I'm stuck in some sort of way.

This motion the stbx's lawyer put forward is asking for full cs based off the guidelines and my annual salary (naturally).

I'm guessing this motion will help decide this?? Does the judge actually thoroughly read both parties complaints before the motion?? Or does he/she skim threw them just before the court appearance??
 
They just skim through before the motion. If it is more than one page, not even that. You or your lawyer will have the chance to tell it verbally.
 
Remember the onus is on HER to prove in loco parentis. It's not an automatic assumption.

Until there is a signed order, interim or otherwise requiring you to do so, if you do not believe you should be paying for her...do not.

Ditto for spousal, without a signed order, pay nothing.

The ONLY exception to the "pay nothing" rule is for CS for a bio child. In which case, you should pay based on the expected outcome. (50-50, EOW, etc)

In that one exception, you should bank the difference between full table and what you are paying each month, JUST in case.
 
BitHunter said:
They just skim through before the motion. If it is more than one page, not even that. You or your lawyer will have the chance to tell it verbally.
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Ok thanks bithunter...her motion (or papers that she's handed in fir this next appearance) are thicker than an encyclopedia!! It's insane...last time when we went to cc, they did the same...

My lawyer responded with half of what they handed in (for the cc) she did a super amazing job speaking directly to the judge who listened quite intently...turned out in our favour too ;)

Why does everything need to be handed in several days before the court appearance then??
 
The fact that I had both her and her daughter on my health benefits, clearly puts me in a situation where I can't deny in loco, does it not??
 
Is that all they have? Dude...you can put kids on your benefits just to be smart financially, especially if it's a reasonable assumption that the kid may require things like glasses, ortho work, etc.

That's not being in loco, that's just not being stupid.

In loco would mean she has to prove things like the child considered you a father, called you Dad/etc.

That you were responsible for dolling out discipline or at least had input into it.

Things like the kid giving you father's day gifts, you taking time off of work while they are sick to help take care of them. Did you attend parent-teacher conferences? Did you coach any activities? THOSE are what will make or break your case.
 
NBDad said:
Is that all they have? Dude...you can put kids on your benefits just to be smart financially, especially if it's a reasonable assumption that the kid may require things like glasses, ortho work, etc.

That's not being in loco, that's just not being stupid.

In loco would mean she has to prove things like the child considered you a father, called you Dad/etc.

That you were responsible for dolling out discipline or at least had input into it.

Things like the kid giving you father's day gifts, you taking time off of work while they are sick to help take care of them. Did you attend parent-teacher conferences? Did you coach any activities? THOSE are what will make or break your case.
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Yes I attended parent teacher interviews, disciplined, helped with homework, etc...I never denied any of that and still don't...the fact that she's finished hs and won't be attending any sort of schooling
This day forward is what's bugging me..the stbx claims the daughters gonna apply for college soon...we've asked for proof/enrollment and have received nothing.

Her lawyer states the daughter is too sick to attend school until she's better..we're awaiting a diagnosis which the dr already states there's nothing wrong with her.
 
This day forward is what's bugging me..the stbx claims the daughters gonna apply for college soon...we've asked for proof/enrollment and have received nothing.

Her lawyer states the daughter is too sick to attend school until she's better..we're awaiting a diagnosis which the dr already states there's nothing wrong with her.
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So until you get either of those things, don't pay a dime in CS for the stepdaughter. She is not in school full time, she's not working, and there is no disclosed reason that she is not able to do one of those two things.

If/when they are able to provide that information/proof, then you can reopen the topic. Until then, without a court order, I'd tell them to PFO and bank the amount you believe is fair. (Bio Dad is under court order to pay already is he not?)
 
NBDad said:
So until you get either of those things, don't pay a dime in CS for the stepdaughter. She is not in school full time, she's not working, and there is no disclosed reason that she is not able to do one of those two things.

If/when they are able to provide that information/proof, then you can reopen the topic. Until then, without a court order, I'd tell them to PFO and bank the amount you believe is fair. (Bio Dad is under court order to pay already is he not?)
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That's exactly the reason the stbx is chasing me. Bio dad is enrolled with FRO and is unable to pay for anything. Unemployed and no traceable income..othet than being on disability and the stbx refuses to chase him.

I know we've discussed this before NBdad, I'm just getting pretty peeved on the childishness her and her lawyer are throwing at me!!
 
Just ignore it. You've made a formal offer to top her up between what BIO-Daddy is supposed to be paying and your full amount correct?

Offer as well to assist in a THREE way split between You, her and Bio-daddy if/when she returns to post secondary full time. The kid should be responsible for 1/3 of the cost, with the remaining 2/3 split between the 3 adults.

Payment dependent on proof of enrollment each semester. If proof is not provided, then CS immediately ends.

Then ignore the fluff and BS.
 
NBDad said:
Just ignore it. You've made a formal offer to top her up between what BIO-Daddy is supposed to be paying and your full amount correct?

Offer as well to assist in a THREE way split between You, her and Bio-daddy if/when she returns to post secondary full time. The kid should be responsible for 1/3 of the cost, with the remaining 2/3 split between the 3 adults.

Payment dependent on proof of enrollment each semester. If proof is not provided, then CS immediately ends.

Then ignore the fluff and BS.
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That's actually an option I never even considered!! Thanks NBdad!!

I'm willing to bet the minute I mention bio dad having to chip in 1/3 will stir the pot nicely!!

Yes I'm already offering a limited amount but this "emergency motion" her and her lawyer put in states I'm not contributing enough
 
Leviathan said:
That's actually an option I never even considered!! Thanks NBdad!!

I'm willing to bet the minute I mention bio dad having to chip in 1/3 will stir the pot nicely!!

Yes I'm already offering a limited amount but this "emergency motion" her and her lawyer put in states I'm not contributing enough
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I would hope the courts would go after bio before you....I'm sure it's not what happens though.

That would clearly be an argument.
 
FB_ said:
I would hope the courts would go after bio before you....I'm sure it's not what happens though.

That would clearly be an argument.
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During the cc, the judge did mention that trying to get any $$ out of bio dad is like getting blood outta a stone, but from what I understand from a few posts on here, the cc judges opinion is exactly that...his opinion, the next judge (maybe during this motion) might have a different say.
 
Leviathan said:
During the cc, the judge did mention that trying to get any $$ out of bio dad is like getting blood outta a stone, but from what I understand from a few posts on here, the cc judges opinion is exactly that...his opinion, the next judge (maybe during this motion) might have a different say.
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They really should throw none support payers in jail. I know they can't work if they are in jail....BLAH BLAH BLAH
 
FB_ said:
They really should throw none support payers in jail. I know they can't work if they are in jail....BLAH BLAH BLAH
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Not what I'm saying fb...I'm just pissed that the ex is fighting me harder than she is the natural father of her child. Am I wrong to think that?? I'm sure her lawyer is costing her as much as mine is!!
 
Leviathan said:
Not what I'm saying fb...I'm just pissed that the ex is fighting me harder than she is the natural father of her child. Am I wrong to think that?? I'm sure her lawyer is costing her as much as mine is!!
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No I totally agree. If he's out there he should be found and raked through the coals before they can even think of asking you for more money and I would argue exactly that in court.
 
FB_ said:
No I totally agree. If he's out there he should be found and raked through the coals before they can even think of asking you for more money and I would argue exactly that in court.
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He's not difficult to locate..he's managed to somehow hide disability payments he receives...his only source of income really...and yea...my stbx seems to sit back and not care?? Oh wait!! "Chase the easy guy (me) cuz he's doing everything legit and he makes alot more than anyone I've ever been with!!"

See why I'm so worked up??
 
It's a legal tactic, nothing more. The more they piss you off, the more likely you are to cave in to stupid demands just to make them go away. Put whatever they throw at you through the emotional filter, and look at it coldly and logically.
 
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