I've been banging my head against the meaning of self-sufficiency, efforts, requirements etc...
My ex is in her early 30s, with a university degree, was laid off prior to marriage and stayed home to care for kids for 6 years now we're split she isn't working and might try to do things like "start a business" - which for me is code for "sit on my ass at home as long as possible" and if not start a business then work from home or a 10-3 schedule or something (to pickup kids from school - I will be getting shared custody hopefully)
Theoretically, the judge will be putting pressure on her to work which I imagine will be at one point telling her to put aside the opening a business idea if it hasn't succeeded (or maybe telling her its unreasonable right away?) but then it will be the job application/response process which I see my ex simply scamming her way through it, applying for jobs either she is unqualified for, or with poor CVs, poor interviews, not returning calls etc.... she will keep this going on until the money STOP which no judge will ever do unless my ex spits in their face in court and even then....
I am contemplating the following:
-Get a dedicated email and cell phone # for ex for job search purposes
-Get a Job Coach/Recruiter person whose job will be there to help my ex find jobs to apply to, make sure she applies, help with her CV if she needs (or any other assistance)
-The coach/person would report to the court
The problem I have is that I don't want it to be "controlling" but I am trying to find the happy medium between creating a tracking/accoutability/reporting that is resistant to false attempts by the recipient to maximize spousal support.
Interestingly I calculated roughly the difference in income of my spouse between if she were working full-time at minimum wage at the time of separation AND if she were NOT working at all and using the low end of the guidelines in both cases she would net 3$/hr by working full-time minimum wage.... What kind of incentive is that to work?
My ex is in her early 30s, with a university degree, was laid off prior to marriage and stayed home to care for kids for 6 years now we're split she isn't working and might try to do things like "start a business" - which for me is code for "sit on my ass at home as long as possible" and if not start a business then work from home or a 10-3 schedule or something (to pickup kids from school - I will be getting shared custody hopefully)
Theoretically, the judge will be putting pressure on her to work which I imagine will be at one point telling her to put aside the opening a business idea if it hasn't succeeded (or maybe telling her its unreasonable right away?) but then it will be the job application/response process which I see my ex simply scamming her way through it, applying for jobs either she is unqualified for, or with poor CVs, poor interviews, not returning calls etc.... she will keep this going on until the money STOP which no judge will ever do unless my ex spits in their face in court and even then....
I am contemplating the following:
-Get a dedicated email and cell phone # for ex for job search purposes
-Get a Job Coach/Recruiter person whose job will be there to help my ex find jobs to apply to, make sure she applies, help with her CV if she needs (or any other assistance)
-The coach/person would report to the court
The problem I have is that I don't want it to be "controlling" but I am trying to find the happy medium between creating a tracking/accoutability/reporting that is resistant to false attempts by the recipient to maximize spousal support.
Interestingly I calculated roughly the difference in income of my spouse between if she were working full-time at minimum wage at the time of separation AND if she were NOT working at all and using the low end of the guidelines in both cases she would net 3$/hr by working full-time minimum wage.... What kind of incentive is that to work?