Section 7 expenses

[c800957276]

At trial, the endorsement we received once the judge issued her decision indicated that my ex (the support recipient) was to pay for her adult daughter's day-to-day living expenses through the support she is getting, and that any tuition, transportation, and books are to be covered by the daughter herself as she works.
It also says that I am responsible for certain percentage of uninsured medical and dental for my 8 year old son, the adult daughter, as long as they are eligible for support.
Finally, it says that I am responsible for certain percentage of "any other expenses agreed in advance and in writing".
This last paragraph is causing issues. I understand it to mean that if we don't agree to an expense, we are not liable for the percentage. We are only if we agree in advance and in writing.
My ex is signing up my son in extracurricular activities without consulting me and is threatening to take me to court over the unpaid percentage. I reply that I am not in arrears because we did not agree in advance or in writing. She also wants me to pay for her daughter's new laptop, although she specifically sought me to pay her schooling and she was not granted such at trial.
Am I misunderstanding the endorsement? Do I have to pay her, or do I only pay her if we agree in advance and in writing?

Also, a footnote on the endorsement says that I should transfer an older car that her daughter drives (which is registered under my name) to her daughter. I tried but they won't give me the ownership to sign over. I got the papers from the ministry of transportation to effect the transfer and the car needs to be certified. It won't pass certification because the daughter had a little accident and the car is missing the front right blinker. I'm not fixing that, she has to, once that is done I will certify. My ex is now saying that I am in contempt. My question is, is a footnote on an endorsement considered an "order". Now my ex wants cash instead of the car. Gosh it's all about money!
Advice please!

 

[dad2bandm]

...
Finally, it says that I am responsible for certain percentage of "any other expenses agreed in advance and in writing".
This last paragraph is causing issues. I understand it to mean that if we don't agree to an expense, we are not liable for the percentage. We are only if we agree in advance and in writing.
My ex is signing up my son in extracurricular activities without consulting me and is threatening to take me to court over the unpaid percentage...

If your ex is not consulting you in advance of signing child up for activities, or discussing it with you prior, then don't contribute, as you both did not come to an agreement. Is this some "new" activity child was signed up for, or does child have a history of usually participating in this activity/sport? I ask, because if you had to go to court, even if you did not consult, a judge could determine it's in child's best interests to continue on, with a regular activity. If it's the "I'm going to sign child up for a new activity, without notifying other parent, and send them the bill" trick, then don't pay.

Make sure you discuss all of this, or put your disagreement to this, in writing to your ex.

...
I reply that I am not in arrears because we did not agree in advance or in writing. She also wants me to pay for her daughter's new laptop, although she specifically sought me to pay her schooling and she was not granted such at trial...

Correct. You did not discuss together beforehand, it sounds like, and she went and signed child up anyway. You are not bound to contribute towards this cost, generally.

Not sure on laptop. Was it required for school course curriculum? Fuzzy on this being a section 7 expense, or not.

...
Also, a footnote on the endorsement says that I should transfer an older car that her daughter drives (which is registered under my name) to her daughter. I tried but they won't give me the ownership to sign over. I got the papers from the ministry of transportation to effect the transfer and...
...
Now my ex wants cash instead of the car. Gosh it's all about money!
Advice please!

Again, make sure this is all in writing (email at least).
Simply advise them again, to provide the ownership slip, so that you can transfer the ownership over to your daughter. Make it clear, that this action is waiting on them to provide this information (which for some reason, is in their possession?). Also advise them, that the damage will have to be repaired first by daughter, before the Ministry will allow you to safety it (I assume that is what you're referring to here?).

If ex wants cash instead now, they can simply sell the car, to get cash.

 

[dad2bandm]

...
My ex is signing up my son in extracurricular activities without consulting me and is threatening to take me to court over the unpaid percentage...

Because you said "activities", I assume this has been a pattern, or there have been a few of them? Have you contributed towards any activities? Generally, it's in a child's best interests to be involved in some kind of activity, so you could (even though you were not consulted) offer to help contribute towards one activity or maybe two, but at the same time expressing to your ex again, that for "future activities", you expect to be consulted with, in advance of said activity sign-ups, so that you can offer your input/ideas, and because you would like to follow your agreement.

This would not be unreasonable, and you would look like the more "reasonable" parent, if your ex did drag you to court on this. I'm talking "one" activity, or two here.

How many are you talking about? Sometimes, ex'es like to sign kid up for 5 or 6 things, then bill the other parent.

 

[c800957276]

Because you said "activities", I assume this has been a pattern, or there have been a few of them? Have you contributed towards any activities? Generally, it's in a child's best interests to be involved in some kind of activity, so you could (even though you were not consulted) offer to help contribute towards one activity or maybe two, but at the same time expressing to your ex again, that for "future activities", you expect to be consulted with, in advance of said activity sign-ups, so that you can offer your input/ideas, and because you would like to follow your agreement.

This would not be unreasonable, and you would look like the more "reasonable" parent, if your ex did drag you to court on this. I'm talking "one" activity, or two here.

How many are you talking about? Sometimes, ex'es like to sign kid up for 5 or 6 things, then bill the other parent.

There is a pattern as he was always signed up for ice skating, swimming, and soccer. And although these are not new activities, the key premise on the endorsement is "agreed in advance and in writing". She signs him up with no regard for my time with him, on my weekends, on my evenings, etc. So it is, in my view, done so that she interferes with my time. She should consult with me so that we agree on the time and what not, correct?

Also, this is a fundamental flaw in the legal system. She takes almost 62% of my net income in support payments, I am left with little to pay my own expenses (rent, food, bills, debt, transportation), and on top of being financially tight, I have to pay the highest percentage. This legal system is not well thought out.

 

[c800957276]

If your ex is not consulting you in advance of signing child up for activities, or discussing it with you prior, then don't contribute, as you both did not come to an agreement. Is this some "new" activity child was signed up for, or does child have a history of usually participating in this activity/sport? I ask, because if you had to go to court, even if you did not consult, a judge could determine it's in child's best interests to continue on, with a regular activity. If it's the "I'm going to sign child up for a new activity, without notifying other parent, and send them the bill" trick, then don't pay.

Make sure you discuss all of this, or put your disagreement to this, in writing to your ex.




Correct. You did not discuss together beforehand, it sounds like, and she went and signed child up anyway. You are not bound to contribute towards this cost, generally.

Not sure on laptop. Was it required for school course curriculum? Fuzzy on this being a section 7 expense, or not.




Again, make sure this is all in writing (email at least).
Simply advise them again, to provide the ownership slip, so that you can transfer the ownership over to your daughter. Make it clear, that this action is waiting on them to provide this information (which for some reason, is in their possession?). Also advise them, that the damage will have to be repaired first by daughter, before the Ministry will allow you to safety it (I assume that is what you're referring to here?).

If ex wants cash instead now, they can simply sell the car, to get cash.

These are regular activities of my son, so there would be a history of him participating. But the intent is to do it to interfere with my time with him, as she does not consult on when he will participate. She does not say "should we?", she says "I signed him up", to which I reply "not agreed in advance and in writing".

On the car issue, it is a footnote on an endorsement, so does it have the same weight as an order? I see it as a recommendation. Because I am not a prick, I don't take the car away. I told them in writing that the car needs to be fixed before I certify it, and my ex refuses and says that I should pick up the tab. At the end of the day it may be cheaper to just fix it and certify it than go to court, but my situation (as it may be that of many in here) is a completely uncooperative ex, so we are not in good terms. It's her way or the highway, and I don't want to set a precedent where I do as she says and I just "obey".

 

[c800957276]

Not sure on laptop. Was it required for school course curriculum? Fuzzy on this being a section 7 expense, or not.

No it is not required for school course curriculum. I think very very few university programs out there require you to have a laptop. That's why universities have computer labs. Saying that she needs a computer is the same as saying that everyone should have a car.

It is not part of the curriculum, so no, I won't contribute. The endorsement says that she (the daughter) herself has to pay for her tuition, transportation, and books. I am assuming that this would fall under the "books" category" because she pays and has always paid her own schooling. The ex just want the money grab now.

 

[HammerDad]

Many universities, if not require, highly recommend having a laptop. But be that as it may, I'd ignore that request and simply state that the order doesn't require it and it isn't otherwise a S7 expense.

For your son, does your boy benefit from the activity? Does he enjoy it? If he does, I'd email the ex the that you'll contribute in this instance. However, that she seek your prior consent prior to registering the child moving forward, as per the court order. That in future, should she fail to seek your consent as required by the order, you will be under no obligation to a) contribute to the expense or b) facilitate the child's involvement.

With regard to my point b) above, I note that if the kid likes it, I would do everything I could to allow them to enjoy the activity. There is nothing that can ruin a fun activity for the kids than the parents fighting over whether or not they consented, will pay and/or allow the kid to be involved during their parenting time.

 

[Links17]

Its always good to take step back and ask yourself why you are disagreeing with something.

Is it for the sake of disagreeing or control (even if its to combat her level of control) and what is the net effect on the kids.

You aren't married to her anymore - if you are actually against the activity then say in the future you won't consent and do it this last time. If you do agree but just aren't happy she didn't consult you then maybe mention you'd appreciate consultation then pay.

Financially, I'm in the same situation as you so I know how your feeling, apparently it ends eventually.