Remortgaging home when separating

B

backinthesaddle

New member
My ex and I have been separated since 2015 and we agreed that he would live in the matrimonial home while I lived in a rental home that we jointly own. We agreed verbally on the division of property. It is now time to sell the matrimonial home but the mortgage is due next month. There will be nothing in writing before that date. I also discovered he used a line of credit against the matrimonial home and kept dumping thousands of dollars (to the tune of 50k) into his personal bank account or transferred to his credit card and another line of credit on what was supposed to be my home into same accounts. I am furious he did this but keeps saying I owed him for various things that were not discussed and I vehemently disagree about. He has purchased several high end items (grown up toys like a boat and seadoo), gone on a 10k trip on this line of credit. He now wants to remortgage the matrimonial home and add the line of credit to the existing mortgage. I need a lawyer and have an appointment coming up but not soon enough. Am i responsible for his reckless spending while we were separated but homes were still joint property? He is angry I am on the fence about remortgaging adding in his loan and I am on the hook for the money he used in mine since my home isn't up for remortgaging. I am saying all previous agreements off the table once you decide to not play fair. Does it all come out in the wash or the fact that the matrimonial home has less equity be a factor? The bank knows we are separated and seems to be fine with the two of us being on the mortgage for a year longer until matters get sorted. Do I leave the line of credit as a debt or add it into the mortgage because it won't make a difference?
 
I would not sign anything until you talk to a lawyer. After seeing the lawyer I still would not sign anything that your ex proposes you sign, but that's just me.

Offhand, if he was dumb enough to put the money into his account, and this happened after the separation date, I suspect you should be able to get that money back. Presumably he will try to argue that you were not separated, it is his only real defence.

I would stop speaking to your ex verbally if possible. Have all communication be in writing.
 
You have to renew the mortgage but you do not have to refinance anything. If you don’t agree on a renewal term the bank will automatically calculate one for you and it’s usually 5 years at whatever their rate is. Renew the mortgage but do not add anything further to the amount. Others will chime in but if he’s been paying the mortgage and all expenses for the house your share of the house would be from date of separation, same goes for the house you’re living in if it was owned before separation. How he spent money after separation is on him, provided none of these loans were joint... if they were joint you may still be on the hook since you never took your name off joint accounts... but that is something you would have to argue against and he would argue for. End of the day, the bank doesn’t care if you’re separated, they just care about their money so if he defaults you’re on the hook to the bank until you get a court order


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Berner_Faith said:
You have to renew the mortgage but you do not have to refinance anything. If you don’t agree on a renewal term the bank will automatically calculate one for you and it’s usually 5 years at whatever their rate is...
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Yeah, I agree with Berner here.


Get some expert opinion.


Basically, you need to know what the mortgage renewal/refinance involves? Don't just rely on your ex to tell you - you need to know what it involves too. If you don't understand, then talk to someone about it independant of the ex (like the bank, lawyer, whoever).



For example, my mortgage is about to come due for renewal. The mortgage company offered me a new "deal" which I can lock in. If I don't accept it, then they will just have an open-ended mortgage (albeit with a higher interest rate), as some kind of mortgage still needs to be in place.



(I'm actually going with a totally different company/deal, for better terms).


But in your case, something like the open ended term even with the higher interest rate, may be a better solution for you, as you're not locking into some new term where you may have to break it (costs $$$ usually), and it gives you and ex time, to settle some stuff, and then re-look at a longer term mortgage deal, with better terms.


Just be wary, of accepting new debt (which may not be yours), and then locking into a mortgage for it.
 
Your best bet is to start getting your numbers in order. Those being:

Value of the two homes at separation and at present (estimate of present is fine)
Value of the mortgages of the two homes on separation and at present
Value of all loans and lines of credits on both dates
Costs for each living expense as if you are a tenant and he is the landlord
Amounts of child support (if any) that should have been paid and what was actually paid

You need to wrap your head around the facts. It is irrelevant if he went around the world bought a car or spent money on women. He racked up bills on a joint loan without consent. Period. Thats all you need to worry about.

When you have all this info, go to a lawyer and start the process to work on dealing with the severing of finances.

And if you haven’t done so already, get your name off the joint accounts or advise the bank you want withdrawals to be prevented.

Berner is correct that the mortgage can be renewed without remortgaging. Your answer is no, we will not be combining anything until an order is in place for equalization. He cant do it without your consent and the bank will simply renew.
 
Good advice

Good advice

Thanks for the good advice. I spoke to a banker friend who advised the same. However, severing loans is the issue because they are actually Homeline plans basically loans on the mortgages on the houses. I went into the bank to try to suspend but because we are both on the mortgages he can simply go in and unsuspend them. They do reach a limit depending on the mortgage but he keeps going and taking money here and there. Goes on to say I owe him for stuff that we did when we were married and together and claims it was “his” money. He is having a hard time wrapping his head around that a family has joint money when both contribute and are married. Just a mess really.
 
I would hope that since he took money out of those lines of credit after the separation he is solely on the hook, but a lawyer should be able to tell you. Our mortgage came up for renewed
Before everything was settled so did an open mortgage for 1 year. It is a little higher interest but way way cheaper than breaking a mortgage before the term is up. Didn’t have to actually sign anything because the mortagage defaulted to a 1 year open if no one came in to sign anyways. You will need to talk to the bank to find out what yours defaults to.
 
If mortgage is not renewed it gets moved into an open mortgage at very high interest rates. As long as you keep paying the bank will not really care.
 
make sure you look at the actual terms. It turns out the way ours was, that either one of us could have gone to the bank and signed with new mortgage terms, didnt need the other person to sign. So ex could have gone in and signed up for a 5 year mortgage and then there would have been a big penatly to pay. Thankfully didnt do this and it just stayed at a 1 year open. In the end from the time the mortgage came up for rewal until time separation agreement will be done, is going to be about 14 months.
 
If I were him I'd max out every penny I could.

You dragged your feet on getting a separation agreement.

I believe it is too late for you to do anything. (I am not a lawyer though and it would be a good idea for you to retain one).

You have sat back and basically agreed to his racking up debt. You can only play stupid so long. 3 years is a stretch IMO.
 
Not playing stupid

Not playing stupid

There were several reasons for not going ahead and sorting out financials. I wasn't playing "stupid" and did what I could to stop it but the bank wouldn't allow me to suspend it telling me that he can simply go back into the back and use it as he wants since both homes are in his name. Clearly we don't come here for emotional support but for many, these are difficult times so your harsh and abrupt replies to many on this site are getting annoying. I get what you are saying but your delivery is offside.
 
I thought the homes were in both your names jointly?

Too bad you didn't beat him to the bank and take the money out yourself (and set it aside - one way to stop the bleeding). Ah hindsight.

Sorry about my harsh and abrupt replies (you can always put me on ignore).... but sometimes truth is not palatable. I have made MANY mistakes in my life and wish someone would have jolted me awake.
 
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