Refraining Order re: License Suspension for Nonpayment of Support

S

su27

New member
Hi all,

I have quite a problem on my hands.

I got married a few years ago to a woman I sponsored for citizenship by marrying her. She was pregnant and we had a child together. Our relationship was very rocky and in 2010 we separated. I had just finished grad school, and she hit me with a comparatively modest support order totaling about $430 per month, which included $250 a month as my 50% share of the day care expenses and about $180 for child support based on an imputed minimum wage income. I thought it was a bit unfair to get slapped with a support order since I didn't have a job at the time as I had just finished school and was doing my best to pass my bar exams so I could make a good living, but the judge didn't care.

Anyways, I was able to keep up support payments until about 7 or 8 months ago. I earned a bit of money here and there by working on a couple of short term projects. I thought it was just for the time being, that things would get better, and that I would start earning a very good living based on my education. But I lost my job in January (which was another short term project) and have had a very hard time getting my feet on the ground financially. I have loads of debt, no assets, and no money in the bank. And for the last 8 months, absolutely no income. Since I wasn't earning money in a stable job, I applied for and managed to get into a part time MBA program at an Ivy League business school in the hope that I would improve my financial situation, but this hasn't helped me get a high paying job either. It has only increased my debts. I find that all the jobs I have applied for I am rejected either because I don't have enough experience, or because I am overqualified due to my education (an undergrad degree, law degree, and MBA). I'm still in a quandry because if I leave this stuff off my resume to get lower end jobs, basically my resume will be empty for the last 12 or 13 years. I never in my wildest dreams thought it would be this difficult to find a stable job but it has been. I am desperate to make very good money and provide for my child and get rid of my debt but I haven't been able to find long term employment.

Anyways, FRO sent me a letter stating they are going to ask the Ministry of Transportation to suspend my license since I owe $3,500 in back child support. My financial situation is so bad I can't even afford this. I am living day to day borrowing from family, and I was always hoping that I would get a job and my financial situation would stop being a problem but that hasn't happened. A few days ago, I did what I once considered the unthinkable and resorted to applying for welfare and EI but I can't bring myself to borrow from family any more.

Legal Aid got me a lawyer (there are other custody access and possible contempt issues on her part at issue) but he cannot make it for the argument. I don't even know if my case will be heard. I don't know what to say to the judge. I have heard it is most likely that he will issue the Refraining Order, but he will undoubtedly want me to pay something. I am worried that he will order me to pay an amount that I cannot afford, and that my license will be canceled anyway.

Does anybody have any experience with this or advice as to what I should say to him? It would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
 
You have a law degree and you dont know what to say to a judge?
I have a lowly BA and am self representing at our trial. The only advice I have is that I have faith you will figure it out.

Out of curiosity why would you create a family but have no income?
 
takeontheworld said:
You have a law degree and you dont know what to say to a judge?
I have a lowly BA and am self representing at our trial. The only advice I have is that I have faith you will figure it out.

Out of curiosity why would you create a family but have no income?
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Hi takeontheworld,

I do have a rough idea of what to say to the judge but I'm not exactly sure what things I can say that will make him more angry at me or that may win him over to my plight. Having a law degree is no substitute for family court experience. I don't expect him to be very sympathetic, but the truth is that the last few years of my life career-wise have not gone the way I had hoped.

I was just wondering if there were any posters here who had some experience in this situation regarding things they said that may have angered the judge, or what may have gained their sympathy. I was also hoping someone would be able to give me a rough estimate of what the judge would be willing to accept as a minimum support payment.

Our child was not planned, though I am very glad we had him. I love him very much and it hurts me a lot that I haven't been able to provide for him as much as I had hoped. At the time she got pregnant, the mother claimed she was on birth control and besides, things were going relatively ok between me and the mother - or so I thought at the time. We didn't really have any financial problems, since she had a lot of money and came from a wealthy family, and my family was willing to help us out, plus I was finishing school and had expected to take on a job where I would be earning at least a modest salary. We had our problems but I was hopeful that things would work themselves out.
 
Have you been paying anything in cs? If not...start. Anything is better than nothing and show proof. Show proof that you are actively searching for work. Do not bring up how much money the ex has. It will piss off the judge. The child is yours as well and it is his right to be financially supported by you.
 
takeontheworld said:
Have you been paying anything in cs? If not...start. Anything is better than nothing and show proof. Show proof that you are actively searching for work. Do not bring up how much money the ex has. It will piss off the judge. The child is yours as well and it is his right to be financially supported by you.
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Thanks, appreciate the advice.

I have been paying CS up until about this past January 2013 when I completed my last job assignment. I didn't think I would go this long without even temporary employment, but unfortunately I have. In my motion materials, I did include a detailed chronology of my job search efforts since early last year.

I have had zero income since this past January 2013, despite my best efforts to find even menial temporary work.
 
su27 said:
I have had zero income since then, despite my best efforts to find even menial temporary work.
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How do you afford the computer / device you are posting to this website with and the internet connection you have to pay for to gain access to this site?

I ask this because a justice will pick apart your argument just like this in a family court. The worst thing you could do - and anyone with a "law degree" knows this - is to NOT pay child support.

If you are not able to pay CS then you should have made an offer to settle and when things didn't work out you should have brought a motion to have the CS adjusted. At minimum you should be paying CS on what you would be getting in Employment Insurance.

You can't make 0$... Claim that and a justice will eat your argument for breakfast.

Good Luck!
Tayken
 
takeontheworld said:
My ex has claimed to be out of work for 2 years and has not had to pay a thing...if this makes you feel any better.
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No not really this makes me feel worse as there seems to be a double standard where some people get a break who don't deserve it, and those who need a bit of a break aren't getting it.

Why hasn't your ex had to pay CS based on imputed income, how has he been able to explain two years of not being employed?
 
su27 said:
Why hasn't your ex had to pay CS based on imputed income, how has he been able to explain two years of not being employed?
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Excellent question! The justice will ask you the same question hearing your matter too.
 
Tayken said:
How do you afford the computer / device you are posting to this website with and the internet connection you have to pay for to gain access to this site?

I ask this because a justice will pick apart your argument just like this in a family court. The worst thing you could do - and anyone with a "law degree" knows this - is to NOT pay child support.

If you are not able to pay CS then you should have made an offer to settle and when things didn't work out you should have brought a motion to have the CS adjusted. At minimum you should be paying CS on what you would be getting in Employment Insurance.

You can't make 0$... Claim that and a justice will eat your argument for breakfast.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Hi Tayken,

I appreciate the advice and I agree that's exactly how a judge will look at it. I live with my mother (internet) and I purchased this laptop four years ago with money borrowed from family as it was required for business school. I thought I would pay everyone back as soon as I got a decent job, but I have struggled incredibly since graduation.

I understand what you are saying though. I just don't understand why some people get off paying nothing while others are being driven to the point where all this is just making the financial situation worse.
 
Who knows but to date he has not had an income imputed. However, just a few days ago I found proof he is employed as the head of telecom with a major electronic company overseas. I suspect the judge will be handing him his ass on a platter...atleast I hope.

Tayken is right. You have to pay something.
 
Tayken said:
Excellent question! The justice will ask you the same question hearing your matter too.
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Yes you're right Tayken, but in my case the judge did in fact impute income. I'm wondering why it wasn't done in Takeontheworld's ex's situation..
 
Who knows but to date he has not had an income imputed. However, just a few days ago I found proof he is employed as the head of telecom with a major electronic company overseas. I suspect the judge will be handing him his ass on a platter...atleast I hope.

Tayken is right. You have to pay something.
 
Takeontheworld, since you found out your ex was in fact working shows that he was definitely intentionally avoiding support payments, yet he didn't have to pay. With me, I want to pay support but have honestly not been able to get a steady income despite my best efforts (in the very least, education-wise) to do so.

But the judge has no way of knowing this, and you're both right it will be pretty much impossible to convince him anyway.
 
"The dog ate my homework" comes to mind here.

If you are living with your mother, and I would assume you pay no rent, you should definitely pay what you get from EI towards your support arrears.

CS is your responsibility. If you don't want to do this then I'm sure a justice somewhere will see if you would prefer to do some pro bono work in your local jail.

A deadbeat is a deadbeat.
 
I would add - shame on you for sponsoring someone into this country and then leaving that person the taxpayer's responsibility. How on earth did you get away with that one?
 
arabian said:
I would add - shame on you for sponsoring someone into this country and then leaving that person the taxpayer's responsibility. How on earth did you get away with that one?
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That may not entirely be his fault though. I know two ladies who met and fell inlove with men. They sponsored them and married them. In both situations the men were never faithful and left soon after they had obtained citizenship and they were unemployed.
 
arabian said:
"The dog ate my homework" comes to mind here.
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I agree. It really does have that kind of a feeling. There appears to be an excuse for everything that is wrong in this poster's life.

arabian said:
If you are living with your mother, and I would assume you pay no rent, you should definitely pay what you get from EI towards your support arrears.
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I agree. I am still pondering why the OP whom has a law degree is not practicing in any area of law... Something is a bit smelly here...

Also, it is odd (not sure if you noticed Arabian) that this professional is alluding that he married someone so they can become a resident. This could be immigration fraud potentially? This is just one of the weirdest threads ever... (Yup, you did notice and posted it while I was writing this message. :) )

Good Luck!
Tayken
 
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