Preparing for OCL appointment

[Superdaddy]

I'm in the middle of a nasty custody battle. My ex has my son for over a year now and claiming sole custody and I'm fighting for joint custody. She only allows my son over night with me on alternate Saturdays. She imposed it unilaterally. We had a case conference and my lawyer managed to convince the judge to let OCL get involved. My first appointment(interview) is next Monday. I'm prepared to show OCL that I'm an equally loving and capable father who can provide for my son. Anybody with OCL experience can help me prepare for anything out of the ordinary.

 

[dadtotheend]

Here's my OCL story.

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f7/ocl-involvement-2842/

 

[WorkingDAD]

I had some OCL experience... It;s a lot depends on whom you get as investigator... I would suggest that just be yourself. Show how you love (d) you kid. Try to avoid conversation about how bad other party is and concentrate on why you good...

 

[wretchedotis]

my personal experience was that the OCL investigaor was biased towards Mom. He found in favour of her over shared custody. Of course, she moved out of juraqsdiction during legal proceedings - at which time shared custody became impossible due to school.

Of course, the OCL guy (John Thompson) saw this and chose to not consider it as a factor in his decision - as her moving was a legal manouever in his opinion. Not sonething that really factored into what was really best for the child, or anything.

I'm biased. Obviously.

Assume you as Dad won't get a fair shake. But rather, you need to present an above average arguement as to why you should be considered equal as a parent.

 

[iceberg]

my personal experience was that the ocl investigaor was biased towards mom. He found in favour of her over shared custody. Of course, she moved out of juraqsdiction during legal proceedings - at which time shared custody became impossible due to school.

Of course, the ocl guy (john thompson) saw this and chose to not consider it as a factor in his decision - as her moving was a legal manouever in his opinion. Not sonething that really factored into what was really best for the child, or anything.

I'm biased. Obviously.

Assume you as dad won't get a fair shake. But rather, you need to present an above average arguement as to why you should be considered equal as a parent.

quick off topic. Did you get shared custody on the end?

 

[danzuchy]

I had some OCL experience... It;s a lot depends on whom you get as investigator... I would suggest that just be yourself. Show how you love (d) you kid. Try to avoid conversation about how bad other party is and concentrate on why you good...

Bingo. Best advice is in his post. Concentrate on the children and avoid bad mouthing the ex. Always tell the truth because the OCL investigators are skilled and will uncover it (well most of them...). Don't come off as angry or go into it about the ex. Concentrate on the chldren and what they need. Stay calm- ALWAYS!!! the OCL may try to push your buttons to get under the layer of smiles. So always stay calm even if they act inappropriate. They try to get you "hot and bothered" to see how you react and put you under stress. It's actually a very smart technique to draw out a person's true personality.

 

[danzuchy]

my personal experience was that the OCL investigaor was biased towards Mom. He found in favour of her over shared custody. Of course, she moved out of juraqsdiction during legal proceedings - at which time shared custody became impossible due to school.

Of course, the OCL guy (John Thompson) saw this and chose to not consider it as a factor in his decision - as her moving was a legal manouever in his opinion. Not sonething that really factored into what was really best for the child, or anything.

I'm biased. Obviously.

Assume you as Dad won't get a fair shake. But rather, you need to present an above average arguement as to why you should be considered equal as a parent.

Not true. The OCL gives a very detailed report and has to have evidence for every finding it makes. Are you being 100% honest in your assessment?

 

[wretchedotis]

quick off topic. Did you get shared custody on the end?

settled for alternate week-ends and mid week overnight. It continues to be a nightmare, with her recently serving a motion to change asking for increased child support and decreaased 'daddy time'.

 

[wretchedotis]

Not true. The OCL gives a very detailed report and has to have evidence for every finding it makes. Are you being 100% honest in your assessment?

All things considered, with sober after thought... I got the shaft.
If that same guy had opportunity to review the CAS, Police, and court records nowadays - he would now offer a very different assesment.

 

[wretchedotis]

settled for alternate week-ends and mid week overnight. It continues to be a nightmare, with her recently serving a motion to change asking for increased child support and decreaased 'daddy time'.

This was actually done in a completely honest effort to reduce conflict.
Her having moved out of city during proceedings unfortunately excluded shared custody as it's impossible to attend two seperate schools in two seperate districts.

I had reasoned that if any one of us was going to mistake of not raising yhe child cooperativly, I would allow it to be her mistake - and at the same time reduce conflict as she gets what she wants.

Unfortuntaley, conflict has not been reduced. But enhanced. The child suffers, frankly.

To be quite truthfull, I find you questioning of my experience to be somewhat condenscending.

I could just as easily ask you if you are aware of the topics of which you speak, before you speak of them?