Post-secondary, 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 calculations

In regards to commencing court action for contribution towards post secondary expenses from a reluctant parent, is it best to wait after the costs have incurred? Or should one commence action as soon as one has some idea of the cost? Daughter is in Grade 12 now and we have started looking at tuition costs etc. We have an approximate idea of how much it will cost. Can one commence the court application now? Especially in light of the fact that court process can be lengthy.

I’ve already reached out to the other parent several times asking him how he would like to approach post secondary expenses. As in what contribution he is willing to make if any, and have not heard anything from him. Was really hoping to avoid going to court.
 
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You can file a motion to change the existing agreement for post secondary. I would wait until kid has actually been accepted and you know what the costs are. If you and kid can afford to pay up front costs and then file that way, it would also help. Otherwise you would need an order specifically outlining what is owed.
 
I have a daughter who decided to go to university this year and it’s 6 hours from home. My ex and I were never married and really have never seen eye to eye on anything. No contact unless she needs something from me.
So we knew this day was coming and here it is.
We have a separation agreement that stated we both pay 50/50 for our daughters schooling. Neither my ex or daughter told me the school plans until August 20th. And the financials were not shared with me until last week.
Turns out no student loans, scholarships etc etc. My ex just expects it to be split with no contribution from our daughter.
I did speak to my lawyer who said the 1/3 1/3 1/3 rule. Also stated that our child should have some responsibilities as well.
When I suggested this to my ex she flipped out.
I know I make a lot more than my ex, so question is ... should I be happy with this 50/50 offer or press further?
I don’t find it fair that I was not advised of things sooner or given any input into any of it.
 
Is it a program kid could have taken closer to home? If yes then your daughter has a MAJOR responsibility to contribute to the costs. Why were there no applications to grant programs or loans? Does your daughter work? Is your income over 150g per year.

The court looks at it as shared three ways or shared as 1/3 to child and the remainder split proportionate to income. Your ex and child can’t just make a decision (especially one with increased costs to go away) and then expect you to pay all of it. Not to mention that only certain expenses are deemed eligible.

I suggest you respond and tell your ex that you allocate 1/3 the expenses to your child and you will provide your proportionate share of the remaining costs and list out that amount. If she does not agree to this you can suggest mediation or let her file in court to get the money. You can easily self rep on this case.
 
rockscan said:
Is it a program kid could have taken closer to home? If yes then your daughter has a MAJOR responsibility to contribute to the costs. Why were there no applications to grant programs or loans? Does your daughter work? Is your income over 150g per year.

The court looks at it as shared three ways or shared as 1/3 to child and the remainder split proportionate to income. Your ex and child can�t just make a decision (especially one with increased costs to go away) and then expect you to pay all of it. Not to mention that only certain expenses are deemed eligible.

I suggest you respond and tell your ex that you allocate 1/3 the expenses to your child and you will provide your proportionate share of the remaining costs and list out that amount. If she does not agree to this you can suggest mediation or let her file in court to get the money. You can easily self rep on this case.
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Thanks for such a speedy reply. Appreciate it.
Yes, it’s a program that could have been taken within an hour from home but she chose to do it 6 hours away. I can only guess that maybe a friend was attending that same school and that helped make the decision. It’s a 4 1/2 year university program. Which is great for her and I’m happy about, but I’m not a bank.
I do not make near 150k. But I’m sure I make at least 50k more than mother.
My father had passed away 6 years ago and some believe I inherited a large sum, which is not exactly the case. So my ex thinks I should pay 50% of the total school cost. As per our SA. But our agreement also stated reasonable notice and that I be included in some of these discussions.
I don’t want to go to court over it but at the same time I don’t want to be walked over with this. I advised my ex that we each split it 1/3 but she laughed and so no, I pay 50%.
 
roryb said:
Thanks for such a speedy reply. Appreciate it.
Yes, itâ€s a program that could have been taken within an hour from home but she chose to do it 6 hours away. I can only guess that maybe a friend was attending that same school and that helped make the decision. Itâ€s a 4 1/2 year university program. Which is great for her and Iâ€m happy about, but Iâ€m not a bank.
I do not make near 150k. But Iâ€m sure I make at least 50k more than mother.
My father had passed away 6 years ago and some believe I inherited a large sum, which is not exactly the case. So my ex thinks I should pay 50% of the total school cost. As per our SA. But our agreement also stated reasonable notice and that I be included in some of these discussions.
I donâ€t want to go to court over it but at the same time I donâ€t want to be walked over with this. I advised my ex that we each split it 1/3 but she laughed and so no, I pay 50%.
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Does your agreement not say anything about the child’s contribution? Or is it a section is split 50/50 kind of thing?

I asked about the income as many who make over 150g get stuck with a difficult fight.

Being included means nothing regardless of what your agreement says. Your ex may get her knuckles wrapped for not including you but it’s not a deal breaker as far as the court is concerned.

You didn’t answer my question about whether kid had a job and earned money. She is obligated to contribute. Especially since she decided to go away which means an additional $12,000 (at least) in expenses.

I would remind her that the agreement ALSO SAYS that the decision would include you AND expenses discussed prior to incurring them. Not to mention the program is offered closer to home with a reduced costs. Make her an offer to pay either 50% of the school expenses with kid paying residence and travel costs. Otherwise you will pay your proportionate share of 2/3 the cost as she decided to go against the agreement.
 
rockscan said:
Does your agreement not say anything about the child�s contribution? Or is it a section is split 50/50 kind of thing?

I asked about the income as many who make over 150g get stuck with a difficult fight.

Being included means nothing regardless of what your agreement says. Your ex may get her knuckles wrapped for not including you but it�s not a deal breaker as far as the court is concerned.

You didn�t answer my question about whether kid had a job and earned money. She is obligated to contribute. Especially since she decided to go away which means an additional $12,000 (at least) in expenses.

I would remind her that the agreement ALSO SAYS that the decision would include you AND expenses discussed prior to incurring them. Not to mention the program is offered closer to home with a reduced costs. Make her an offer to pay either 50% of the school expenses with kid paying residence and travel costs. Otherwise you will pay your proportionate share of 2/3 the cost as she decided to go against the agreement.
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Sorry, forgot to answer that. She did have a part time job while living at home with her mother but I understand her hours were cut down to almost nothing due to Covid and being a part time employee, so her company cut all the part timers.

Our separation agreement had a section that each parent pays 50/50 and nothing in it about kid contribution.

Residence costs for the year are $15,000
With tuition coming in at $6000

When I told her that 1/3 is a thing she laughed and denied that. her lawyer then sent me a text message this morning saying he’s never heard of 1-3 rule and that I’d take the 50/50 if I were you or it could cost me more in the end. I was surprised that he text me as it doesn’t seem all that professional, but he claimed he’s trying to save us some financial hardships and end this before it goes further.
 
It says ... “future special or extraordinary expenses may include post secondary education. Father will pay 50% of these future expenses as they arise”
 
“The parties will only contribute to Child’s additional special or extraordinary expenses if the parties consent to the activity and expense in advance, in writing. Neither party will unreasonably withhold consent. If the parties cannot agree, they will use section 6 of the original agreement entitled “dispute resolution” to resolve the issue”
 
Ok so like I said tell her that she made a unilateral decision and kid is attending school away from home at an additional expense. You will pay your share of the reasonable expenses but you expect kid to pay a share as they chose a program away from home with an increased cost. If she does not agree you are willing to attend mediation or she is welcome to file a motion to change. You ignore her lawyer’s texts. Never heard of a lawyer sending texts.

Are you still paying full table child support?
 
I had always sent her 12 post-dated cheques at the start of the year for support. This year was different because we did acknowledge that a school decision would be coming so we agreed that Ill send her cheques up to the end of August. So that is as far as I have contributed so far.
thanks so much for your input and recommendations.
 
No she has not asked for any support cheques at all. Just the 50% share of School tuition and residence.
She did mention that our monthly support amount should be reviewed but I shot that down pretty quickly as I told her that support ends when the child is living away from home for school.
 
If its 1/3, 1/3 and 1/3, that means child, mother and father each pay 1/3.
What happens if child's grandparent set up an RESP. Does that belong to the child or can my ex claim that her extended family member's RESP counts as her own contribution?
 
roryb said:
She did mention that our monthly support amount should be reviewed but I shot that down pretty quickly as I told her that support ends when the child is living away from home for school.
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Not technically true. You would be on the hook for four months of summer as the child is expected to return for the summer months.

Was the child eligible for student loans/grants? For instance, OSAP in Ontario? Normally they would receive grants in addition to loans including a direct grant to the tuition amount.
 
Brampton33 said:
If its 1/3, 1/3 and 1/3, that means child, mother and father each pay 1/3.
What happens if child's grandparent set up an RESP. Does that belong to the child or can my ex claim that her extended family member's RESP counts as her own contribution?
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A friend who just went through trial on RESPs had this case referenced in the decision:

https://www.canlii.org/en/on/oncj/d...RSGVza2V0aCB2LiBXcmlnaHQAAAAAAQ&resultIndex=1

The judge in that case held that both parents would benefit from the funds so they were to be applied to the cost first.
 
Sorry, that is what I meant. As long as she is not living at home during the school year there is no support. If she returns for summer that's different for sure.
As far as Loans etc ... I have no idea, I asked and all that mother said is that they did not apply for any OSAP and "why would they?" "Why would we put our child in debt when its not necessary" is the response i got.
She did say that she got $1700 in bursaries which she told child to put towards books, but then later sent me a receipt for all the books expecting 50/50.
 
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