So I recently received the reasons for decision in regarding my motion. My daughter is finished her first program in February and is taking a second program starting in September. The judge has ordered me to pay support for this second program, but has also ordered me to pay monthly support from the end of her first, all the way to the end of her second. She will be out of school for 7 months and I was still ordered to pay during this time. How is this fair? Especially when she works lots of hours when she is not going to school. How can he order support during the months she is not attending school? Anyone have any advice on this? My daughter is also paying her mom rent during the time that she is not in school plus she would be receiving money from me. The judge was provided with all this information, yet I still have to pay while she is out of school. Wtf? There is something totally wrong in the family court system.
Paying monthly support when adult child is not attending school
- Thread starter Dad0208
- Start date
The issue is that she is taking a second program not related to the first and I'm ordered to pay during the 7 months she's not in school as well as during her second program until she's done. How is that fair? I have to pay her mom while her mom is also charging her rent? That's just ridiculous. If she's charging our daughter monthly rent and receiving money from me as well, what the heck would her mother be contributing at all?
arabian
New member
Before the judge made his order did you provide information, and argument, of the length of the terms of the programs and emphasize that the child of the marriage would be out-of-school for many months?
It's not like the custodial parent can up and sell or move for the 7 months that the child of the marriage is still living at home. Mortgage, utilities etc. still have to be paid. Obviously the ideal situation would have been for a reduced amount to be paid while child was not attending school.
Judges don't like to make orders that are predictive in nature. The child of the marriage may "intend" to pay rent but this may not pan out. The child may get fired from the summer job or the child may fritter away the money they earn. Judge likely knows that real expenses exist now and whether child of the marriage works or not, the bills still have to be paid. Judge also knows that parents like to project how responsible their children are but, in reality, they can be little irresponsible shits who leave parents out a lot of money.
It's not like the custodial parent can up and sell or move for the 7 months that the child of the marriage is still living at home. Mortgage, utilities etc. still have to be paid. Obviously the ideal situation would have been for a reduced amount to be paid while child was not attending school.
Judges don't like to make orders that are predictive in nature. The child of the marriage may "intend" to pay rent but this may not pan out. The child may get fired from the summer job or the child may fritter away the money they earn. Judge likely knows that real expenses exist now and whether child of the marriage works or not, the bills still have to be paid. Judge also knows that parents like to project how responsible their children are but, in reality, they can be little irresponsible shits who leave parents out a lot of money.
The ex told the judge that my daughter would be and has been paying rent for the months that she is not attending school. How can she be so selfish as to charge rent to my daughter and also get money from me. She should not be charging her anything if I am paying support. I don't even agree that I should have to pay for 2 unrelated diplomas.
Janus
New member
I think you missed the part where this is the kid's second degree. It is an obviously unfair decision. I do not know a single child who has had a second degree paid for by the parents, divorced or not.
And if the child is paying rent, then this just ascends to a new level of craptitude.
There is no more. My ex was fighting specifically for this second diploma. Now I'm on the hook for 7 months that she is not attending school plus the duration of her second program. All the judge said in his reasons was that there is no reason to not fund her second program since my daughter thinks this one will enhance her skills for the last one. No more explanation than that. It's baloney.
Also, I was ordered to pay some costs, but had no opportunity to present the offers I made to my ex to the judge. I thought they did not decide on costs without seeing the offers that were made first? Almost everything the judge ordered was similar to what I offered. The only thing I was fighting against was paying for a second diploma and I got screwed with that. I make less than $40,000 a year, yet I was still ordered to pay for that second diploma even though my kid has a job in the field of her first diploma. Eventually parents will be paying for their kids until they are 40. Unbelievable how messed up the world is today.
The judge stated that based on the evidence, that he didn't find it unreasonable that she take the second program to enhance the education she has already obtained. That was basically the whole paragraph on that. What evidence? All she provided was a statement that in her opinion she thinks it enhance her knowledge. There is no evidence showing that the two programs were connected in any way. They are 2 totally separate programs. Even if she thought it would broaden her knowledge, that doesn't mean I should be paying for the second one. In reality, I would have no issue helping my daughter directly for any reason at all, not just school, but it's ridiculous that I should have to pay her mother when I know it will not benefit my daughter. She is paying rent to her mother too. Her mother is such a selfish twit. To me, it just seems like a way to keep making me pay her mother.
shellshocked22
New member
For what it's worth, I sympathize with your situation. It's totally not fair and even common sense doesn't justify it. Welcome to Family Law in Canada.
This is a long shot but might work....
Why don't you offer your daughter a deal whereby she can live with you rent free AND you'll also give her a portion of what you're paying the greedy mother who is effectively stealing from her own daughter. Keep in mind that if the daughter is agreeable (and after age 16 the "child" can do whatever the hell they want with respect to which parent they live with) the ex-wife will have to pay YOU child support plus you'll not have to pay the ex anything (assuming you have 61% or more of custody)
Assuming it works, want to bet that the mother "suddenly" doesn't think its such a fair arrangement when she's getting screwed over lol ?
This way, both you and the daughter save potentially big money AND as a bonus the greedy mother gets a taste of her own medicine.
Good luck !
This is a long shot but might work....
Why don't you offer your daughter a deal whereby she can live with you rent free AND you'll also give her a portion of what you're paying the greedy mother who is effectively stealing from her own daughter. Keep in mind that if the daughter is agreeable (and after age 16 the "child" can do whatever the hell they want with respect to which parent they live with) the ex-wife will have to pay YOU child support plus you'll not have to pay the ex anything (assuming you have 61% or more of custody)
Assuming it works, want to bet that the mother "suddenly" doesn't think its such a fair arrangement when she's getting screwed over lol ?
This way, both you and the daughter save potentially big money AND as a bonus the greedy mother gets a taste of her own medicine.
Good luck !
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I did offer this to my daughter, but we are in different cities and the program she wanted to take is in the city her mother lives in. Not only that, her mother has been putting in her head that I don't care about her education, only my son's, which is not true.
I'm not willing to move since I am married and have 2 other children that live with me as well. My son will be going to college/university in a couple of years too but the court system doesn't care about the second children at all. My daughter and son get along well, but my son even at 16 is much more independent and mature than my daughter is at 21. He refuses to force any type of payment on me that I can't afford and he talks to me about that all the time. I love them both the same and I support both of their educations, but I can't even begin to set money aside for his education with the money I have to give my daughter through court, which sucks.
I'm not willing to move since I am married and have 2 other children that live with me as well. My son will be going to college/university in a couple of years too but the court system doesn't care about the second children at all. My daughter and son get along well, but my son even at 16 is much more independent and mature than my daughter is at 21. He refuses to force any type of payment on me that I can't afford and he talks to me about that all the time. I love them both the same and I support both of their educations, but I can't even begin to set money aside for his education with the money I have to give my daughter through court, which sucks.
cashcow4ex
New member
I would lose my sh!t if this happened to me.
LOL...Knowing me, I would end up moving in the middle of the night under the cover of darkness to a new and exciting foreign land!!!
LOL...Knowing me, I would end up moving in the middle of the night under the cover of darkness to a new and exciting foreign land!!!
That's what you get, out of the original poster's info? Why not make it 3 degrees then, if that turns out to be the career plan?