New baby on the way. Can I end Spousal Support

c800957276 said:
It's a very messy case. Ex is in contempt of court, has committed insurance fraud, has presented fake documents and invoices to the court to change financial information, sent fake invoices to FRO to add "arrears" to my obligations, got arrested for assaulting me (no charges though), had the option to buy me out of the matrimonial home but hasn't, refuses to sell it, doesn't pay the mortgage, property tax, condo fees, insurance, and is intentionally unemployed. I have the benefit of being able to back up all these items with actual evidence. The list goes on and on.

AND, has made my access to my child a nightmare. Those are the reasons why I'm going back to court, but I just found out about the new baby, so this is going to be included in the bundle.

Any thoughts?
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You're mixing up too many issues. Go to court to deal with the house and the financial stuff, and get an order for access. These issues all involve your ex's actions, so it's appropriate that she has to deal with the consequences.

But your partner's pregnancy is not your ex's problem. You made a choice after your divorce to move in with someone who had economic challenges (two kids with deadbeat dad) and then to have another baby with this person. This may have been the right choice for all kinds of reasons (personal happiness, love, etc), but it means you're going to be stretched financially until SS is reviewed in 2015 (which is not far away), and you're just going to have find a way to deal with it. Don't waste your time in court trying to get out of a situation you created - deal with the (much more pressing) situations that your ex created.
 
c800957276 said:
Not self created. Brought purposely by someone refusing to work with the sole objective of obtaining spousal support.
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Well, presumably your ex didn't get your current partner pregnant, so the fact that you have a baby on the way, with all the financial complications that entails, isn't your ex's responsibility.

No matter what you may think of your ex's motivations, you have a responsibility to pay spousal support until 2015, which is not very far away. The time to negotiate a reduction or an end to your SS payments is then, not now.
 
c800957276 said:
Not self created. Brought purposely by someone refusing to work with the sole objective of obtaining spousal support.
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My understanding is that you are asking whether or not SS would stop/be reduced b/c you have a new child on the way. To this I say: there is no logic in seeking relief for self-created hardship.
 
My ex lives with his girlfriend - our former employee's ex-wife (they were married 28 years). His girlfriend receives absolutely no SS from her ex. Do I care? No. Why - if my ex is stupid enough to shack up with someone who wants to leach off of him then that's his problem and certainly not mine.

Perhaps you should look at your own situation from all perspectives.
 
odinn said:
My understanding is that you are asking whether or not SS would stop/be reduced b/c you have a new child on the way. To this I say: there is no logic in seeking relief for self-created hardship.
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May I also add, having a child with someone with children from a previous relationship who doesn't get CS also adds to the self-created hardship?
 
So it's okay to keep the first wife at home as a stay at home but the second girlfriend or wife is a leach when she doesn't have her own income?
 
Serene said:
So it's okay to keep the first wife at home as a stay at home but the second girlfriend or wife is a leach when she doesn't have her own income?
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Yes, the second wife is a bit of a leach if she doesn't do anything to support her own children. The leachiness comes into play when she expects another man to take care of children that are not his, to the point that caring for HER and HER children make him unable to care for HIS.
 
I think everyone should support their own children - first spouses and subsequent ones! I tell ya, there is a whole lot less bitching when you aren't trying to suck someone else dry!
 
^and according to the OP, the first wife has been imputed full time, minimum wage. Now, the 2nd who was two kids, no cs and no ss... is she on welfare or subsidy? How is she making ends meet?
 
c800957276 said:
Not self created. Brought purposely by someone refusing to work with the sole objective of obtaining spousal support.
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Just wondering - does your new lady work to pay for her children since she is unable to receive Support from the father or does she refuse to work and depend on your income?

If I were a judge (and thank GOD that I'm not) I would ask you why you went ahead and created another child to care for when you feel that you cannot afford to care for the one you already have + two more that your new lady already has? I'm thinking that a vasectomy might have been a better solution to your money problems, no?
 
It baffles me that payors will pay CS and SS and then remarry have a baby with somebody who has no CS/SS (in loco parentis my friend) and have another baby with them.

I can forgive the first marriage, but wasn't 5 years of paying somebody to sit at home and do nothing enough of a wake up call....

Personally I think anything you do is pointless; mid 2015 is 6 months away... hopefully SS ends and you are good to go.
 
c800957276 said:
Hello,
Quick summary: separated in 2010, legally in 2011, went to trial in late 2013 and have joint custody of a child, while having to pay Spousal and child support. Spousal is up for review in mid 2015. I pay a lot of money, and I'm in a little bit of hardship.
Met someone over a year ago and we are expecting a child. I just want to get your opinion on whether or not this is a sufficient enough change to either end or reduce spousal support for my ex.
I'm going back to court at the end of this month.
My new partner has two children from a previous relationship and does not receive child, much less spousal support (deadbeat dad).
Whats your opinion on this?
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Your reasoning would not be sufficient enough. However, your SS review is only 8 or 9 months away. Since this date is already set, in a few months (Jan at the earliest) you will be able to proceed, without the burden of establishing a material change of circumstance, with requests for full financial disclosure, efforts to become gainfully employed, etc. from your ex. It would be even better if you have a clause in your agreement stating the spousal support review will be completed within one month of the review date; this will give you reason to start in Jan or Feb, because there is zero incentive for support recipients to expedite a process that can easily take up to 6 months to resolve.
You are fortunate that your ex has already been imputed with minimum wage. Hopefully your agreement included some wording about her best efforts to become employed to her full potential by the review date. If so, you should be able to pursue higher imputation based on this potential. This imputation should not only reduce the quantum of SS, but also reduce the amount you pay for section 7 expenses. And you should definitely pursue a termination date within acceptable, reasonable norms based on factors such as the length of your marriage, her entitlement, etc., but not based on your unborn child.
 
SadAndTired said:
Yes, the second wife is a bit of a leach if she doesn't do anything to support her own children. The leachiness comes into play when she expects another man to take care of children that are not his, to the point that caring for HER and HER children make him unable to care for HIS.
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Well my new partner is a very hard working and responsible person, so she is no leech. Obviously supporting two children and paying for all house expenses is hard on one income, but she expects no help from the deadbeat.
We get together, a child happens, I'm responsible for my child, and grin the one on the way, but I don't want to be in a position where I can't buy diapers because my ex is intentionally unemployed.
I need to be able to provide for my children.
 
Serene said:
I think everyone should support their own children - first spouses and subsequent ones! I tell ya, there is a whole lot less bitching when you aren't trying to suck someone else dry!
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That's right!
It's all about money. And some parties want full custody to get more money.
 
mcdreamy said:
^and according to the OP, the first wife has been imputed full time, minimum wage. Now, the 2nd who was two kids, no cs and no ss... is she on welfare or subsidy? How is she making ends meet?
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My new partner is employed, and a hard working and responsible person. It's hard on one income, and now that there is s baby on the way I will obviously take responsibility and provide, but I don't want my children's needs to be subject to someone else's irresponsibility.
My new partner and I were starting to think about moving in together, right now we live apart. We both have our expenses. Now the baby comes so we need to speed everything up.
Because of SS, I live paycheque to paycheque. So I usually can't afford extracurriculars. My son is being denied of these not because of my inability to contribute but because of my ex's irresponsibility and decision to not work.
 
Janibel said:
Just wondering - does your new lady work to pay for her children since she is unable to receive Support from the father or does she refuse to work and depend on your income?

If I were a judge (and thank GOD that I'm not) I would ask you why you went ahead and created another child to care for when you feel that you cannot afford to care for the one you already have + two more that your new lady already has? I'm thinking that a vasectomy might have been a better solution to your money problems, no?
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Dude seriously?
I forgot to add some details, so read the new posts.
 
Links17 said:
It baffles me that payors will pay CS and SS and then remarry have a baby with somebody who has no CS/SS (in loco parentis my friend) and have another baby with them.

I can forgive the first marriage, but wasn't 5 years of paying somebody to sit at home and do nothing enough of a wake up call....

Personally I think anything you do is pointless; mid 2015 is 6 months away... hopefully SS ends and you are good to go.
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Fingers crossed...
You never know...
 
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