Need some advice

Status
Not open for further replies.
B

Baffled_Dad

New member
I've mentioned some issues in a previous post I've been having with my ex wife and adult children regarding support and school and living arrangements. Back in 2011 my oldest now (21) returned to school after taking 2 years to figure out what he wanted to do. I was separated at that time. He enrolled into college and went for one semester that fall. I've been after him and my ex as of August this year to give me the requested info my employer needed to keep his benefits going b/c he turned 21. They need all his school info. I also applied for him thru a benefit to get him educational bursaries to help offset the costs. Of course my ex thinks these are freebies...Not! Anyway, the way I finally got his school info was green shield phoned me to verify his info and they mailed me all the school info because they questioned his full time enrollment because my ex submitted for the 2011 bursary. The bill for his 2nd semester (winter 2012)never got paid. No courses showed in the billing. He switched courses all together with notifying me. Any changes, they have up to 90 days to let me know. It's in our agreement. The problem is, I've paid full CS from January 2012 while he wasn't in school full time up to August while he worked where my ex works and re enrolled into a new program in the fall of this year 2012. My oldest just told me he only went for one semester in his 1st program he tried. He also lives with his girlfriend 5 days a week and goes home for a change of clothes. I'm hoping my lawyer can get me credited for the time he dropped out. I definitely want a reduction. I have no problem helping my sons. I just want control of where my CS Is going b/c neither sees close to what I pay in CS. My youngest son just told my new wife that he may take the rest of the year off or just take another 2 more courses in high school in which he said he took this past fall to acquire his grade 12 diploma. Again, he too not in school full time. This is a complete fraud that she bold faced lied about my kids In school. I've been extremely fair since the day we split and haven't missed a payment even without a court order. I'm sick if the lies and deceit. My youngest doesn't even live at home 8 months of the year b/c he billets with a out of town family to play jr. Hockey. What grounds do I have to be credited for my oldest not being in school as well as my youngest not in full time?
 
Same thing happened to me. Both mother and daughter were lying that she was attending school. I had proof she wasnt by going to her school and obtaining copies of her school records. I started proceedings in may 2011 and filed a motion and child support was immediately suspended until a further long motion, 4 months later.

In october we returned to court and mother said child was registered but had already missed 19 out of 34 days claiming she was a very sick child (although there is absolutely no proof and my daughter has never been sick when with me) and judge ordered child support was no longer payable.

I got a judgement in the amount covering my monthly support from JAN (when she turned 18) to July when it was suspended and $1200 in costs.

1st payment was due Dec 1st and have not seen a dime, really don't think i ever will. Just to see her make an fool out of herself in court was worth it.

Good Riddance!! Unfortunately my daughter is being raised to be just like her mother and being taught to go on disability.

I have our court system to thank from that. She was given full custody because she wasnt currenly working because she lost her job because she got caught sleeping with her boss and i was working full time, so i guess that made her the better parent to raise her.
 
Baffled_Dad, I'd be filing a motion with the court to stop child support payments immediately. I'd say it's a pretty easy win if you have the proof, and as tkmaaaa mentioned in his situation, getting your costs is probable given the deceit and the lack of credibility on your ex's behalf. At the least you'll likely be credited for the time you paid, or they'll order her to pay it back. I can't see why they wouldn't if she clearly wasn't entitled to be receiving it, and is playing games on top of it.

As for tkmaaaa... if your ex is supposed to be paying you back for overpayments and you've yet to see a payment, register with the FRO. I'm sure you're all too familiar with them. Are you registered with them already?

This happened to one of my colleagues who I was talking about in a previous post. He overpaid in CS to the tune of $4k and he brought the issue to court and the court ordered that she pay it back to him. So what does she do? She quits her job and gets another job on the reserve, where apparently FRO can't touch her earnings. As I said before, FRO is a wonderful organization for receivers, but it sucks for payors for reasons like this.

If I was a receiver and I was getting money that I knew I shouldn't be getting, because either the kid was 18 and not in school anymore, or finished school completely... I think I'd have the common sense to put it aside, knowing that any overpayment is likely going to be brought to court for reimbursement. Or, simply not take the money... but I guess common sense doesn't really have a home in family law most of the time, as far as the legal battle is concerned. Gets a bit clouded by bitterness.
 
I'm contacting my lawyer as early as I know he is back to work from the holiday. If I were to file on my own behalf, do I have a chance w/o a lawyer acting for me? My fear is that my lawyer may be a bit passive in trying to get what is owing to me. I know that sounds weird but at the time I was finalizing my divorce I had these suspicions and explained it to him and he would say: well, we could drag this out or just pay what I owe her and get the divorce. I've been asking all along for her to produce receipts in which my lawyer said he seen but that was for my oldest son 1st semester in 2011 and not the the start of the 2012 year. I know he was trying to get my case done fast b/c I had all the property issues settled with the previous lawyer I had fired in the beginning. It was just support issues. I just had my suspicions b/c of the lies and my kids stopped talking to me for about 4-6 months. They were listening to their mother calling me a deadbeat while I'm trying to make contact with them by texting or phoning but getting no replies and paying $3079/month. I was paying almost 2/3's if my paycheck weekly. She had deliberately took 3-4 months off work in 2011 to get her income down and was able to do it b/c of what I was paying her weekly. I tried to get my lawyer to impute her income to where it should be. This year her income is what it should be so were redoing it as we are every year b/c that too is in our agreement. Thank god! All overtime where I work was cut back. Things are looking a little brighter financially for me. Again, I'm just hoping to get back what I paid for her deceit.
 
Well, if there's an amount that's owing to you because of a clear overpayment, I don't think your lawyer can dispute you wanting it back. $3079 a month is a lot of money, and if you already have the proof, I don't think there's much of an argument. I can't think of a situation where a judge would acknowledge this and agree that you overpaid, and yet not reward it back to you.

As for child support... does the child have to be enrolled FULL-TIME in order for the ex to receive the support? I thought the kid being in school at all, whether it was one course or full-time enrollment, was grounds for child support entitlement. I've read sources online that state that it has to be full-time. If that's the case, then that's good to know.

There are all sorts of unexpected things that can crop up that can bring the lie(s) to light... like you mentioned about your employer needing information to keep your son on benefits. It's totally unrelated to the separation, but it can bring out information she didn't think she'd have to disclose.

I can't understand why people put themselves in this predicament. They've got to know what the implications are for them if it's ever found out... and in your situation, it's easy to prove because you already have the documents. All you have to do is hand them over to your lawyer. So to me, regardless of how likely she thinks it is or isn't that she'll be caught, it's idiotic to lie about something like that because all your ex is going to get out of it is an amount owing to you... so why do it? That's a lot of friggin money to pay back.
 
Yes, it is allot if money. If her income was calculated to what it should of been it would of been about $600 less/month. The total support is for CS & SS. The thing that bothers me the most is that I had asked my lawyer several times to get me receipts for the tuition to show what I'm paying for quite clearly. To add insult to injury I was paying about $2379/ month all along and she and her lawyer had the nerve to ask me for back support for the difference of what I was paying to what I'm paying currently for 8 months while my oldest son wasn't even in school. That to me is fraud and out right cheating and lying. She signed our final divorce order stating everything is true to her knowledge. Well, she has another thing coming as soon as 2013 hits. I'm so sick if all this BS. I or certainly anyone in my position has rights. All because I have a decent income doesn't make it right to steal.
 
While lawyer are supposed to be "officers of the court" and we would expect them to be law-abiding, they ultimately are private business people. When they break the rules, and are called on it, the usual penalty through the various law societies is simply to have to do remedial reading/course work.

It is very frustrating when one side follows the rules and the other side doesn't. My experience is that it is useful to have one's lawyer point out to the judge, whenever possible, how opposing counsel has breached family law. Nothing much happens but it is at least on record and it does muddy the opposition's credibility. Worth it? Hmmm. Time is money so one really wonders about this.
 
I wrote a detailed letter to my lawyer with all the timelines and concerns of my CS. A friend of mine I work with went thru a similar situation with his ex and kids where they lied about their school enrollment in order to get the money for the tuition and CS. He had proved all the lies, had all the documentation when he had his day in court including taking it to the Supreme Court due to an appeal he malde trying to prove his case in family court. The judge told him that if he made his ex pay back the 33g's she would of owed she would be financially destitute (with adult children) so therefor he has the financial means where he could recoup his losses at his well paying job. Have a nice day! He had to pay court costs on top of it too...twice! Where was his rights? It's absolutely disgusting that we have no rights. I'm sure there are other cases similar. If I would of known that my son was not in school I would of never agreed to pay her the back support I apparently owed. Not one penny! It only took me a year of numerous requests to get proof of school. That's what is so sad!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top