My god I need help

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Tim Cash said:
sounds good to me as of the 117 I have asked 2 questions , the rest has been a pissing contest and its ridiculous.
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After giving you solid advice about how to calm down the "pissing contest" on your thread, you didn't even listen?
Have you ever heard of censoring your thoughts?
I'm starting to think this might have been a problem for you in the past..

GROW UP!
 
you were calling somthing ridiculous and a "pissing contest" that you willingly participated in and fueled. Take responsibility for your actions, make ammends and move on. There is no reason for the snide remarks.
 
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im getting pretty sick of the "its ok for one to drop a snide remark" but not the other ??? I was in my comment trying with no success in taking ownus to MY part in the pissing contest. Then in return I get ... (I thought they taught this stuff in Kindergarten???) I feel like im in the twilight zone....apologize are not good enough, just when dadtotheend and I are making headway now Iv pissed you off , I am more confused with you guys then I am with my ex? I think everyone needs to stop and read what im saying and not try to find in what im saying something that is not there. I might be a smartass , but I assure you I am not a mean person. Dont tell me to stop with the snide remarks and then drop your own snide remarks it only "adds fuel to the already flaming fire" Now for the last time ...I AM SORRY TO HAVE OFFENDED ANYONE , It has never been my intentions.

And thats not the only "snide" remark here there is one on every post ....so lets like you said move on ...PLEASE.
 
No, you have not pissed me off. This is just an internet forum and it takes A LOT more to get me riled up.
It frustrates me that you are not able to see where you are offending someone until after someone points it out.

Fact is, I HAVE read what you are saying. You need to read your posts objectively and decide if all the content is relevant, helpful and required.

I will remove my snide remark. It was uncalled for. Sorry.
 
lol ok great but now I look like a dumbass cuz it isnt there...but whatever look I just dont want any trouble ...everyone has been nice and I do take responsibility for my actions ok....like I said ..Im sorry , Now we can just move forward or we can continue to go back and fourth about things that have past. Now without insults can someone tell me what I need to do to put out the fire? I like all of you , everything I have read is great stuff and , dadtotheend , I am sorry, you sound to me like a great guy and a great dad so forgive me if you can, Mess as well. Billiechic please forgive me for the misunderstanding.......One day you guys will get to know me and Im sure you will see the side of me that will change how you feel . At least I hope you do.
 
Blinkandimgone, Bite me , I was simply trying to convey how bad i felt for saying the things I said to a few of the posters in here. Kind of regretting that now , but whatever . There has been some great conversations in these forums and yes I have read pretty much all of them.
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Bite you? Not in your wildest dreams, my friend. Besides, you have Norwalk. Been there, done that, not thrilled with the trip.

I was simply trying to convey the impression you've given in your posts - which I did in fact sift through trying to find some relevant information about your situation to offer something constructive on. That's what this place is for.

Tim Cash said:
So you must be the resident doctor in the group, you can tell from a few posts whats wrong with someone...could never be that they were just angry...nah he must be insane , you are a joke and I didnt ask for you opinion so do me a favor and shut your pie whole. It apears I will not get a fair shake here so do what you need to do , but for future people that will come to this forum , tread lightly as these know it all will humiliate you any chance they get and why?
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Nowhere did I say you were insane. Having anxiety or depression issues does not make one insane so you may want to get over that misconception and quick as I think many here could be insulted by that insinuation.

You may not have specifically asked for MY opinion, however perhaps you may want to step back a moment and realize you are posting on an internet forum where the purpose is for others to offer advice and opinion, both of which you have recieved a lot of in this thread. You may not agree with the opinions or take the advice, however if you wish not to have public opinion then don't post in a public forum. You are not going to find anywhere to post online that only allows people who agree with you to comment on your posts.

I am not the only person who commented on the possibility of you having depression or anxiety issues. I may not be a doctor - nor likely are others in this thread - however given we are all in somewhat similar circumstances to a different degree, a high stress, deeply emotional time well known to contribute to or cause issues like anxiety and depression, some of us are likely very familiar with the symptoms and are doing you a favour in pointing it out. Nobody is suggesting you see a doctor or councillor to be mean. Or perhaps you have anger issues like you've said above. Doctors can help you with that as well.

People in a rational, well balanced emotional state do not bring up suicide lightly. Pull yourself out of your 'victim' state, establish your goals of what you want to accomplish and do something about it.

Food for thought: Be careful whose toes you step on today as they may be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.
 
If you are going through a battle with this woman (in a legal sense) right now, you may want to make sure she doesn't get wind of these posts or hear any of this directly from you. With the way you are speaking this will only work against you, not for you.
 
Trust those that speak here.... they do understand, and empathize

Trust those that speak here.... they do understand, and empathize

We've all been there in some manner, in some form, and to some extent. That's what divorce does to you, and how you cope which you are having difficulty with. There's a lot running through your mind that you are trying to make sence of, and your conflicted with your emotions. It's your gut feeling, your instincts, your conscience, your spiritual (whatever that is to you) that is telling you something, but you can't reaon in out in your state of mind. Go see a counsellor or use your Employee Aassistance Program. They will emphasize with you, and help you understand why your feeling what your feeling.
 
Tim: It sounds like you have made your share of bad choices, but it all ties in to being involved with someone who has an addiction. ( I've made them too - questioning yourself, second guessing, not wanting to make waves...) You can't count on her changing - you have to change - to save yourself and hopefully be there for ALL your kids. Start by not getting sucked in - you may have to take a step back, reassure your kids you will be there, and honestly,

I suggest going to AL-ANON mtgs in your area. They are everywhere. Call.
 
Hi Tim,
Sorry to hear about your troubles. I am sure your son will grow up no matter what. He will be around and will need you to watch and grow around you. Yes the drinking from your partner can drive you crazy and make you think some weird things trying to cope with there minds that are not even logical. You can not change their thinking. They are sick and really need help. You need to call for help. Has suggested, crisis center. They are the experts and seen this many times. Time will move on very fast all will change. They will give you a lot of options. Your Son will thank you in the end as he grows. Do you have someone in your family that can help or maybe very good friend, relative?.
 
Some Advice

Some Advice

Speaking from experience, and mine is very similar to your, here are some suggestions of what you need to do.

1. Call the Ministry of Children and families, get them involved. They will do a through investigation and place the children where they think they will be safe. But they will not take sides, so be prepared to state your case and show proof. ALWAYS be calm and rationale when speaking with them - or anyone else, talk of suicide is not good for the children or you.

2. Call the police EVERY time she does anything that endangers you, the children, or HERSELF. They will investigate every complaint. After a dozen or more serious complaints the police will either tell you to stop bothering them or arrest the ex and lay charges. This could get you a peace bond that prohibits her from contacting you.

3. Sell the house, if you can.

4. Fill for divorce, get a separation agreement dividing assets and setting up a temporary custody arrangement..(be sure to ask the house be vested in your name so you can sell it).

5. Get a counselor so you have someone to talk with about the emotional problems....you must be proactive in this.

6. Get witnesses together that can verify your accusations of drunkenness etc. This is important to establish truth with MCFD, the police and the courts.

7. Get legal aid and a lawyer. You are a man, so it is unlikely legal aid will provide you with a lawyer - if a guy makes enough money to live under a cardboard box he has too much money to qualify.

8. Intellectually and emotionally accept that the system is set up to support and defend women/mothers NOT men/dads. I have one woman I had to deal with that point blank said "I don't care what your wife did, children should NEVER be taken away from their mother". This lady did not care about death threats and other abuse. Thankfully she is in a minority.

9. See if you can get your ex's family to support you custody..if members of her family care for the children and are concerned for their safety, this can carry weight with the court and MCFD.

10. Realize that there are a lot of people here that have/are going through the same or worse as you. It won't help your situation, but 5 or 10 years from now you can join the growing ranks of us pushing for changes to this very unfair/biased system that hurts families.
 
Hi as far as i remember as of march 2010 when a home is broken.The courts look at what is best for the child(s).So most of the time it turns into a weekon\week off case & if your income is less then 20.000 to 25.000 then chances or if you leave and your with the kids apply with your local legal aid to help with the court costs. i hope this will help you.I also am a father of 3 and yes i learnd the hard way. hope you do not.

good luck!
jerermy.
 
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