My ex is trying to take joint custody away

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bryan1234

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I currently have Joint Custody over my two kids. I have them approx. 50% of the time. I pay Child Support based on the Child Support guidelines, my income/2 kids=what I owe minus her income/2 kids=what she pays. As well I pay 70% for all Section 7 expenses. My problem is that I will be working a lot for two months due to a shutdown at my work that requires me to be there. She said she would like to have the kids when I am working. There is no extra child care costs, but she wants more money because she has the kids more. She is claiming that she has the kids for those months for more than 40% of the time and is entitled to more money. She is claiming that I need to pay her more because she has sole custody of the kids for that time. Is this true? Yes I will be making more money on my T4 for 2013, and plan to make adjustments to the Child Support payments for next year. I don't know if this is the right thread to be posting, but I need help. Thanks.
 
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She has no say over what you do with the children during your time with them. If you send them to babysitters/daycare, that is up to you. Also if you are ok with her babysitting the kids while you work, that is ok too... but the extra few hours should not have an affect on the 50/50 access.
 
This is only a temporary situation, she has no ground to claim to take away the joint custody away. More you have the choice of not sending the kids to her during that time if that creates issues.

It may be a good time to visit some other familly member if you have some close.
 
kinda sounds like double dipping to me. She wants more money when she has the kids more for those two months now, but will get more money next year based on an increase in your income .
 
Child support doesn't get adjusted month to month, neither does custody.

If the amount of time makes a big change to percent over the entire year, then she may have a small point, although even then, it is a temporary situation.

So first, if you have them 50-50 now and this is for two months. If she had them 80% for those two months, it would work out to 55/45% for the year. So from that angle it is crazy.

Second, if you are working more, do the children spend a lot less overnights with you? Or do you pick them up from her later? Is there a way add extra days when you are free to make up? Without knowing your children's schedule and your work schedule it's hard to make a suggestion, but there are a lot of creative ways you could make up the time.

Thirdly, how much extra expense does your ex incur due to the extra time? She has the same housing, the kids won't need a new wardrobe just for those two months, and you are already splitting the cost of activities. So you are primarily looking at groceries, transportation, probably a few things like going out to movies, and a slightly higher utilities bill.

Fourth, do you have any other options? Let's say you put them in daycare or camp for those two months. What would the cost be? If you can work it out, you are within your rights to simply do that and ignore the ex. You have a solid custody schedule, you stick to the schedule.

Take all of this and think it over. If this were me I would say to the ex that this is temporary so the custody doesn't change and if she wants to change it she will have file with the courts. Then offer her some level of compensation and state that this is would cover her extra expenses. Then state that if she doesn't agree, you will keep the kids on your time and arrange child care.

Write it up in a non-aggressive, non-emotional busines-like way. Make clear statements, don't try to justify anything. They are your children, this is your time, you decide what happens. Don't get sucked into a back and forth argument. If you ex disagrees, then say thanks but no thanks, you will deal with it.

When you write something like this, if you try to give a lot of reasons why, you are just inviting an argument. Just state what the offer is and let her say yes or no.
 
I appreciate all the responses. It makes me feel better that I wasn't missing something here. I will be making up time in the summer months because I get a lot of vacation where she doesn't get any. The extra time that she would have them is only temporary, and the only added expense to her that I could see is the minor increase in utilities and groceries. She also had requested that she gets them over child care due to our Right Of Refusal Agreement. Being that it is on my time, I am looking into other options of taking care of the kids so they can stay at my place during my time. I do agree, it does seem like double dipping to me. I believe she thinks that I am getting off easy and not paying the full Child Support. She thinks that I am paying a discounted amount due to the fact that I have them 50% of the time. This is not the case. Our mediator did not discount the amount at all for me, and I am paying the full amount based on my income and her income.
 
I love your summer vacation counter-argument. If you do indeed have them for more than 60% time (counting overnights) during July/August.

Will your temporary working schedule affect where the kids sleep? ROFR often applies only to overnights. And custody time usually only considers overnights... but either way, as mess said, it's a short-term change and it will not take you outside of 40-60 averaged over the year.
 
I sure hope all of you are right! I just found out she is seeking lawyer advice on this. My temporary work schedule will affect where the kids sleep due to the fact I have to leave to work at 5:00 A.M. and will not be home until 6:30 P.M.. Evenings I could make work, but hard to find child care that early in the morning.
 
Can you make arrangements with a neighbour to come by in the mornings?

In any case, let her waste money on a lawyer. There is no legal basis for her claim, and by the time it got to court you would be back on your regular schedule.
 
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