Dr.Elana Fric is one of several high profile Canadain victims of domestic violence where the perpetrator was a physician. In her case it was her husband. A few years back a nurse was stabbed to death at Kingston general by her anesthesiologist ex boyfriend at the very hospital they both worked. He went on to euthanize himself with an iv cocktail of stolen meds before he could face justice. Then of course there was the cardiologist who stabbed to death his two young children to cause his physician ex incalculable pain.
Had Dr.Shamji not murdered his wife it may have been the children he butchered instead. Alana’s death may actually have spared her children’s lives. Why? Because they would have entered the realm of family court where actual domestic violence is dismissed and swept under the carpet with the false allegations broom!
I will repeat again. Domestic homicide is the most preventable homicide there is because there are common and glaring risk factors that are present before the heinous act is committed. It is NOT entirely up to the victim to prevent their or their children’s homicide. The courts need to listen. Not just with their ears but how about training the family court judges to recognize the risk factors in domestic homicide as well as insisting that all recommendations from the death review committee are enacted. It should also be mandatory that each and every custody and access assessor is highly trained in domestic violence and lethality risk assessments should be conducted with all parties that even allude to a hint of domestic violence.
Dr.Fric’s situation has some eerie similarities to mine. We were married for the same amount of time. Her ex threatened to kill their infant daughter. Mine did to. Her ex strangled her . Mine strangled me. ( strangulation is a flashing neon risk factor for domestic homicide). She is a well educated professional as am I ( but i’m Not a doctor). Her ex was verbally and emotionally abusive as was mine. She was afraid he would kill her . I was lucky in that I live far, far away and am still breathing. The kids and I are all alive. The abuse for me after eight years is still not ended as family court litigation and stalling by the other side who I refer to as the dark side keep it going. But I’m alive.
Why did Dr.Fric stay? I have a pretty good idea why. First off, leaving does NOT mean you are out of danger or that things will get better. For me things have gotten different not better. Dr. Fric had already left once when she had him charged with assault in 2005. The average victim leaves 7 x before finally leaving for good. She may also have taken the kids and gone to her parents on multiple occasions. I did. My ex also begged to for me to let him back after both times he was charged in 2007 and 2009. Why did I take him back? Because he had changed by following the bail conditions ( or so I thought). He was sweet, apologetic and back to the man i’d Fallen in love with. I was ecstatic. He fooled me because it was what I wanted more than anything, to be happily married to the father of my children.
Even when his brain injury specialist warned me how dangerous he was I did not want to believe it. Others could see the danger and I could not. Would not see it. By the time I did see it I was emersed in family court hell where it’s in their job description to minimize or ignore domestic violence.
I can understand Dr.Fric’s hesitation to leave. That nobody would believe her. She was right! The family courts minimized my fears despite all the hard core evidence I had from a multitude of verified third parties , medical and psychological reports, etc. Dr. Fric wouldn’t have stood a chance in family court.
The other observation I wanted to point out is that in all of these homicides at the hands of physicians, each and every one used very primitive means to kill their victims. Using either knives to stab their victims or fists. Being physicians they had the knowledge and means to kill their victims by less violent means yet choose the most violent possible. Makes you wonder if they had something inherently wrong with their brains. Like my catastrophically brain injured ex. Only their brain problem was hidden.
