Mortgage renewal

StillPaying said:
It would mean he makes poor financial decisions, not much more. Choosing to pay more for mortgage is his choice so shouldn't affect you. I think it'll come down to the items he's paying for rather than every nickel and dime.



You're not paying, so it's hard to use against you. If you were paying the mortgage, you could go to court to force your ex to renew but that's all on him.



~ 😬 smiling and nodding
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His choice is to sell the house and get rid of that debt so anything that increases a cost that he does not agree with should affect her.
 
iona6656 said:
honestly- this sounds so troll like to me. anyone else?
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Why do you think I sound like a troll? It's expensive to live in Toronto and with home prices increasing on a daily basis I want to make sure my kids and I can maintain a certain standard of living.

My ex knew what I was capable of making and paid all my bills. He knew before marriage and prior to kids I would need a nanny and housekeeper. Isn't it law that he keeps my standard of living the same?
 
iona6656 said:
Also- here's a question.

If OP's ex indicates to the Mortgage company that he is separating and the house is a point of contention- or subject to litigation. What happens if mortgage company refuses to renew?
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This would look bad on him. The mortgage is with his primary bank.
 
Isn't it law that he keeps my standard of living the same?
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No it isn't. It's not possible to divide one household into two and maintain the same standard of living.

His obligations to you and the children do consider his income, but maintaining the same standard of living as before separation is not the requirement (or even possible).
 
rockscan said:
You are basing it on what OP has said which is probably incorrect based on her emotion and sense of entitlement. As you see from her two new posts, his income increase was AFTER separation not during.


He was paying all the expenses, 100% of section 7 and child support for four years with 50/50. Plus she states his income increase was after separation not during the marriage. Again, there is no proof she is entitled to a certain amount past the five years.

Remember this is a person who quit a 150k a year job to open her own business, is paying her new bf so he can pay his child support, has had all her (and the kids) expenses paid for almost five years now and has just admitted her lawyer said she�s reached the end of her entitlement. Blowing smoke up her ass is only going to prolong this and cost more money in legal fees.
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His increase in income is from working longer hours and seniority. I don't understand why I can't share in that. I was married to him when he started out.
 
His increase in income is from working longer hours and seniority. I don't understand why I can't share in that. I was married to him when he started out.
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The inclusion of post-separation increases of income is fact specific. In some situations it's possible, in other's it's not. The fact that you were married to him when he started his career is not sufficient, it has to do with the relation of the increases to the time spent in the marriage.

For example, if he was on track to get a huge promotion during the marriage, then separated, and then was promoted. That increase might be included.

If his success comes from activities that are primarily post-separation in nature, it's less likely to be included.
 
Kinso said:
No it isn't. It's not possible to divide one household into two and maintain the same standard of living.

His obligations to you and the children do consider his income, but maintaining the same standard of living as before separation is not the requirement (or even possible).
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My ex has a higher standard of living than me. Since separation he has hired a housekeeper, a nanny, a personal assistant, and goes on vacation several times a year. He's living a better life than when we got married while expecting me to live with debt and renting. I'm the mother of his children. I didn't decide to divorce. He did
 
Kinso said:
The inclusion of post-separation increases of income is fact specific. In some situations it's possible, in other's it's not. The fact that you were married to him when he started his career is not sufficient, it has to do with the relation of the increases to the time spent in the marriage.

For example, if he was on track to get a huge promotion during the marriage, then separated, and then was promoted. That increase might be included.

If his success comes from activities that are primarily post-separation in nature, it's less likely to be included.
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He is doing the same job but at a different company. He's an accountant. He's just making more from seniority and extra hours.
 
My ex has a higher standard of living than me. Since separation he has hired a housekeeper, a nanny, a personal assistant, and goes on vacation several times a year. He's living a better life than when we got married while expecting me to live with debt and renting. I'm the mother of his children. I didn't decide to divorce. He did
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His income (subject to the comments on post-separation increases) is a relevant factor (as is yours). Maintaining absolute parity in standard of living is not. Reiterating your frustrations about the situation does not change this.

All I'm saying is there is no legal obligation to keep you in the same standard of living as prior to separation.
 
Mortgage renewal

trueblue22 said:
My ex has a higher standard of living than me. Since separation he has hired a housekeeper, a nanny, a personal assistant, and goes on vacation several times a year. He's living a better life than when we got married while expecting me to live with debt and renting. I'm the mother of his children. I didn't decide to divorce. He did
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Canada is no fault divorce land so you’re out of luck with your “I didn’t ask for this” argument.

His income is different for spousal and child support. You can’t say that just because he can afford all this help that you should get the same. His household finances are not relevant to yours. You could have gone out and found a sugar daddy and if he was penniless, he would still be obligated to pay his share even though you have someone to pay your bills. You are not entitled to things just because he has them and continuing to fight for what you aren’t entitled to will only make it worse.

Stop comparing his lifestyle to yours. You quit your job and opened your own business. You created an imbalance in your households. As Kinso said, you can’t split two houses and expect to have the same situation as before. That’s not how it works.

Bottom line is you need to get real with yourself on what you are entitled to. You had four years to get your shit together and didn’t. Your ex is not responsible for you because you didn’t realize you needed to stand on your own two feet.
 
rockscan said:
Canada is no fault divorce land so you�re out of luck with your �I didn�t ask for this� argument.

His income is different for spousal and child support. You can�t say that just because he can afford all this help that you should get the same. His household finances are not relevant to yours. You could have gone out and found a sugar daddy and if he was penniless, he would still be obligated to pay his share even though you have someone to pay your bills. You are not entitled to things just because he has them and continuing to fight for what you aren�t entitled to will only make it worse.

Stop comparing his lifestyle to yours. You quit your job and opened your own business. You created an imbalance in your households. As Kinso said, you can�t split two houses and expect to have the same situation as before. That�s not how it works.

Bottom line is you need to get real with yourself on what you are entitled to. You had four years to get your shit together and didn�t. Your ex is not responsible for you because you didn�t realize you needed to stand on your own two feet.
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My lawyer advised me to consider hiring a full time housekeeper in addition to my nanny so I can show high expenses even though we didn't have this during the marriage. Are you saying his advice is wrong? He seems to be off the opinion the higher my expenses, my current debt and my moderate income, combined with my ex husbands luxurious lifestyle he will be able to potentially argue for spousal support until my kids turn 18 which is in at least another 10 years from now.
 
Its bad advice. Not to mention when he is unsuccessful arguing it, you will have all of those expenses plus your legal fees and potentially your ex husband’s fees. If you can’t afford it yourself and you didn’t have it during the marriage then there is no chance you are going to “win” those expenses.

Remember that spousal is to get you on your feet to be self sufficient. You didnt have a long marriage and you are still young and able to work.
 
Q

Q

My lawyer advised me to consider hiring a full time housekeeper in addition to my nanny so I can show high expenses even though we didn't have this during the marriage. Are you saying his advice is wrong? He seems to be off the opinion the higher my expenses, my current debt and my moderate income, combined with my ex husbands luxurious lifestyle he will be able to potentially argue for spousal support until my kids turn 18 which is in at least another 10 years from now.
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Q. Ma'am did you have a housekeeper prior to the date of separation?

A: No.

Q. Why did you hire a housekeeper after you separated?

A: My lawyer told me to to increase my spousal support claim.

*Insert judicial crucifixion*

Please bring a blank cheque to the court house, as your husband will be leaving with whatever will clear.
 
Kinso said:
Q. Ma'am did you have a housekeeper prior to the date of separation?

A: No.

Q. Why did you hire a housekeeper after you separated?

A: My lawyer told me to to increase my spousal support claim.

*Insert judicial crucifixion*

Please bring a blank cheque to the court house, as your husband will be leaving with whatever will clear.
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I wonder also if the judge will be made aware that she is taking a pay cut while paying her boyfriend a full salary?
 
rockscan said:
Its bad advice. Not to mention when he is unsuccessful arguing it, you will have all of those expenses plus your legal fees and potentially your ex husband�s fees. If you can�t afford it yourself and you didn�t have it during the marriage then there is no chance you are going to �win� those expenses.

Remember that spousal is to get you on your feet to be self sufficient. You didnt have a long marriage and you are still young and able to work.
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I was together with my ex for about 11 years. Isn't that more mid to long not short? I looked up some cases on Canlii like this forum recommended and I see that women with my length of marriage gets closer to 8 to 12 years of spousal support as long as my ex is able to pay.
 
Not to mention you have to give disclosure.

Were any of those cases even remotely similar to yours where the wife was earning 150k and gave up her job either near or after separation to start a business? I have a feeling you are picking and choosing elements of cases and assuming you will get the same for one minor reason.

The fact that you gave up a good paying job will be key in your ex’s argument for no more ss. You were fully self sufficient but you quit and expected him to pay your way.
 
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