Military Member looking to See If I'm Out To Lunch With My Motion

H

Hide on Bush

New member
- Currently posted to Ottawa and am due to be posted to Kingston.

- Have Sole custody and Primary residence status of my 8 year old.

- My Ex gave me Sole custody in 2019 for $1000 off of their arrears.

- Ex has only had every other weekend and for the past year, every Wednesday for a few hours. This has occurred since our Son was 3 years old. Prior to that, he had supervised visitations.

- Currently I have a paragraph on my order saying I am not allowed to life outside the City of Ottawa. This was added in 2019. From 2016 to 2019, the clause was I was able to live within the Province of Ontario. It was changed based on claims of future plans from my Ex that has still not occurred.

- Me and my Ex have a very hostile relationship. We have never agreed on anything.

- Ex currently lives in Ottawa, but approximately 30 minutes away.

- Ex has had no job in over a year (living off of lottery winnings which he didn't claim with regards to child support but I don't know if he needs to or not). He lives with his Mother and Brother. My son sleeps in a bunk bed with my Ex.

- I asked my Ex if we could increase the mobility clause to include Kingston. My Ex had been stating they wanted to remove Wednesday access because its hard to work around it. So I offered that and an additional weekend every other month. I also offered to pick up our Son at the end of access if my Ex picks up at the beginning thus sharing the travel.

- My Ex completely shut me down and said no. When I asked what they wanted, they wanted the entirety of the travel costs covered or for me to pick up and drop off during their access.

- I am looking to take this to court because in my mind, I am offering my Ex more time, removing the Wednesday access at their request, doing half the travel (which right now they do all of it as per the current order) and access time remains the exact same.

- I was informed that in March 2021, the new Act will essentially remove mobility restrictions as long as they do not impact the child's relationship with the other parents or access. I do not know how accurate this is tho. However if true, this wouldn't impact at all as literally nothing changes with regards to access and communication. If anything, my Ex gets more time with the additional weekend.

- I have gone through all of the Goertz factors and everyone of them I can clearly articulate in my favor.

- Do I have a Status Quo case with regards to the province of Ontario clause from the previous order?

- I cannot clearly identify any argument my Ex can make to influence a court decision in this matter but I wanted to bounce everything off of members here.
 
More compromise will settle the matter.

More meaningful access and for longer durations is the way to do it. (If you don't want to go to court.)

Split all school holidays equally (march break, christmas, etc...), summer 2 weeks in July and 2 weeks in August of his choice, etc...
 
Tayken said:
More compromise will settle the matter.

More meaningful access and for longer durations is the way to do it. (If you don't want to go to court.)

Split all school holidays equally (march break, christmas, etc...), summer 2 weeks in July and 2 weeks in August of his choice, etc...
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My Ex already gets all holidays split evenly. Sorry should have added that.
 
thgink9- said:
My Ex already gets all holidays split evenly. Sorry should have added that.
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More time more time more time.

Offer up as much time as your can. If you offer up access time that is incredibly generous then people usually agree to these kinds of changes.
 
Speak with a lawyer before you take this to court. The debater in me sees that nothing you've said would make this a winning case for you; except that your ex agrees with it...

You've offered half the driving and he wants it all covered. That's the only issue. Like $100. Would you be ok with a reduction in cs?
 
StillPaying said:
Speak with a lawyer before you take this to court. The debater in me sees that nothing you've said would make this a winning case for you; except that your ex agrees with it...

You've offered half the driving and he wants it all covered. That's the only issue. Like $100. Would you be ok with a reduction in cs?
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Even though I’m being forced to work through my job? Access isn’t changing at all, it’s going to have zero effect on our Son as it’s not his first move, he wants to move, and he’s not in school right now and hasn’t been in almost a year due to covid.

Would my ex have to make any form of arguement to stop the move if they are loosing absolutely anything? They are even gaining time and losing driving responsibilities.
 
Why should dad split the driving with you when you are the one moving? That’s 2 hours one way. This sounds like this is his major issue with your plan, and rightfully so.
Offer to do the driving, it’s what would most likely be ordered in court anyways.
 
If he does all the driving currently that’s 30 mins there and back x2 in one weekend. That’s a total of 2 hours on the road for him. You asking him to split the drive with you to Kingston and just do the drop off or pick up would increase his drive time to 4 hours.
 
Selfrepmom said:
Why should dad split the driving with you when you are the one moving? That’s 2 hours one way. This sounds like this is his major issue with your plan, and rightfully so.
Offer to do the driving, it’s what would most likely be ordered in court anyways.
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That was my thought as well. The parent moving should be responsible for 100% of the transportation.
 
thgink9- said:
Even though I’m being forced to work through my job? Access isn’t changing at all, it’s going to have zero effect on our Son as it’s not his first move, he wants to move, and he’s not in school right now and hasn’t been in almost a year due to covid.

Would my ex have to make any form of arguement to stop the move if they are loosing absolutely anything? They are even gaining time and losing driving responsibilities.
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The fact that you see zero affect on your child tells me you're doing this for yourself and your dislike of your ex rather than for your child.

Would you accept less cs or do all driving?
 
You have an order/agreement registered with the Superior Court hopefully. I believe that your CO can't make you move. Contempt is a quasi-criminal conduct and the military can't ask you to brake the law.

So, hand your order/agreement to your CO and tell them you can't move and if you do and take the child they are placing you in a situation in which you could be criminally charged for failing to follow an agreement/order.

Employers can't make you brake the law.
 
Tayken said:
You have an order/agreement registered with the Superior Court hopefully. I believe that your CO can't make you move. Contempt is a quasi-criminal conduct and the military can't ask you to brake the law.

So, hand your order/agreement to your CO and tell them you can't move and if you do and take the child they are placing you in a situation in which you could be criminally charged for failing to follow an agreement/order.

Employers can't make you brake the law.
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They cannot make me break the law but I can be released from the Canadian Forces as I am breaking my ToS due to mobility restrictions through a 5F release. Which is Unsuitable for Further Service due to personal issues that impair my usefulness or imposes an administrative burden on the Canadian Forces. Or through a 5D which is Not Advantageously Employable.

Ex currently has to do all the driving as per the current order. My ex has to travel approx. 327km per month. With the new change and me splitting the driving my ex would have to travel 304km per month. My ex is doing less travel...

I don’t understand how this is not in the best interested of my son... Access stays exactly the same. My ex would be doing less travel... My ex gets more time. Son wants to move. He’s not currently in physical school (online schooling)... The provisions in which the current order was changed were not followed. Status Quo from our 2016-2019 order allowed entire province... Or if I can’t move, I will likely be released and out of a job. How is that beneficial for my Son. I’d be forced to quit a $70,000 a year job with guaranteed salary while my ex has been unemployed for over a year.

I’m missing something here...
 
StillPaying said:
Is your ex fighting against the move or the $100 (half travel)?
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I don’t know right now. I’ve offered more time, less travel and the removal of Wednesday’s at their request (which the additional weekend is more then making up more). They just say no. When I ask what they want, my ex doesn’t answer me.
 
As a military member you gave up your Charter Rights to freedom of movement - which means your job depends on your ability to move. If you already have sole and primary custody, given your military status a judge would see a move as reasonable given that its not your choice to move. It is in the best interest of your child that you remain employed; if you refuse a move, the military could release you for breaking your terms of service, or they could recommend that you do a component transfer to the Reserves, which would not be in the best interest of your child as you would lose job stability and would receive less pay. Especially if you have a strong access plan and make concessions like agreeing to pay the cost of access visits.
 
"The fact that you see zero affect on your child tells me you're doing this for yourself and your dislike of your ex rather than for your child."


The poster is not doing this for herself, as a military member she has no choice but to move if the military orders her to - if she does not report to her new unit at the new location, she would be declared AWOL and would be charged.
 
Tayken said:
You have an order/agreement registered with the Superior Court hopefully. I believe that your CO can't make you move. Contempt is a quasi-criminal conduct and the military can't ask you to brake the law.

So, hand your order/agreement to your CO and tell them you can't move and if you do and take the child they are placing you in a situation in which you could be criminally charged for failing to follow an agreement/order.

Employers can't make you brake the law.
Click to expand...


This is factually incorrect. The court order only relates to the mobility of the child - not to the mobility of the military mother. There are hundreds of cases in the Canadian Forces of military members being forced to choose between giving up their career or moving away from her children, because military members do not have freedom of movement. Her Career Manager (not CO) would tell her that she either moves with her kid, without her kid, or leave the military (or switch to the Reserves) for breaking terms of service.
 
enchantedowl said:
This is factually incorrect. The court order only relates to the mobility of the child - not to the mobility of the military mother. There are hundreds of cases in the Canadian Forces of military members being forced to choose between giving up their career or moving away from her children, because military members do not have freedom of movement. Her Career Manager (not CO) would tell her that she either moves with her kid, without her kid, or leave the military (or switch to the Reserves) for breaking terms of service.
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LOL mobility is the major issue and the Best Interests test is the only test. Like it or not your obligation to the military is no different and holds no different weight in the balance of probabilities than any other "public citizen" in the Civil Court.

Because you are in the military gets you no bonus points. Your custody and majority access does... your job gets you nothing.

Surely you can get a job in the private or public sector. Most people who have gone through the military are highly employable. Often with much better pay (crappier pensions).

Also just like any employer the military will bend over backwards to keep a good employee employed. Employers make all sorts of accommodations for Family Situations. I am sure an Officer wouldn't have to deal with this...
 
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