Mediation

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iceberg

iceberg

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Legal Aid approved me!

They are not going to sign me a lawyer until we attend mediation. My ex had a choice to refuse but as her lawyer told her, refusing it won't look nice on her. She is so pissed off because of it and because motion must be adjourned. I expect no agreement though.

Also, in our current aggreement it says any child custody dispute must first be dealt with mediation and if unsuccessfull then file a motion. She filed without mediation.
 
That's awesome Iceberg! We all need good news now and then.

You have got to remember that you go in with an attitude of working out an acceptable plan. Let her shoot herself in the foot. But don't take her bait.

JUST BE YOURSELF!
 
Iceberg....Hopefully your mediator will be a lot better than the nincompoops some of us have had. Look out for the red flags (biased behaviour), and the moment you start feeling your voice is not being heard, or that you are made to believe that the mother is the automatic "primary caregiver", make your concerns known in a friendly manner to the mediator through a letter i.e don't get confrontational

I had to end our mediation when the mediator was letting a lot of emotional crap from stbx get in the way of the mediation, and the nail in the coffin was when the mediator told me to accept 3 overnights that stbx was proposing.

Oh...she the mediator (a family lawyer) also told stbx right in front of me that "you know you can get a court order to have the house sold" :rolleyes:
 
Ours is a lawyer too. But there is nothing that's gonna make me emotional. I will be politely responding "I don't think that is in the BIC" and stuff like that. My ex is the 1 who will be scared because her dictators (family) won't be there. She will just repeat stuff what she wrote in her affidavit and what she was coached to say. We will see mediator's tactics to break her firm position if possible. I am open to many agreements as long as it remains shared custody.

I assume the report from the mediator will go to the judge?????
 
iceberg said:
Ours is a lawyer too. ... I will be politely responding "I don't think that is in the BIC" and stuff like that.
I assume the report from the mediator will go to the judge?????
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I'd rather a mediator who is a lawyer, and appreciates 'fair process'.

Your responses can be extended/improved by coming up with solutions instead of just shooting down your ex's demands e.g. I don't think that is in the BIC, but if we do this instead, it is better because yadda yadda.

If your agreement does not indicate 'closed' mediation, then yes a report can be written and submitted to court. I think you would have to request it - it won't happen automagically - and I've no idea if legal aid covers the cost.
 
She will accuse m of a million things and her excuse will be "we cannot cooperate". Legal Aid will pay for it. I am just thinking is there a reason/point the judge should get (a potentially unsuccessful) mediation report?
 
Well, most likely one of you will find it useful because it will paint the other in a bad light. And THAT is the person who is going to ask for the report, and submit it to court. The other one will just be fuming.

Hopefully it will be useful to you.
 
dinkyface said:
Well, most likely one of you will find it useful because it will paint the other in a bad light. And THAT is the person who is going to ask for the report, and submit it to court. The other one will just be fuming.

Hopefully it will be useful to you.
Click to expand...

You're right. I will offer her several options even to move to her area but to keep shared custody (and that the child has to stay in that school district permanently). If she refuses all you bet I want the judge to see it.
 
So she 'accepted' the mediation but set the date as far as April 15. I am surprised because she was in a hurry to "settle" this :rolleyes:
 
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