Matrimonial home

[sixfeetunder]

Just want to ask a quick question if the house is under x name but I took care of the mortgage payments and taxes for the last 10 yrs , I know the house will be split up by the judge , since x ask me to leave and i started giving her money for CS which she is using to pay the mortgage.If the house needs repairs I'm obligated to help with repairs or not ?

 

[Mess]

If it's the matrimonial home (you were married, not common law) then it's split 50/50 no matter who paid what.

If she is staying in the home, she pays you half the assessed value of the home. It's up to her where she gets the money.

If you have kids, the kids need a place to live, the cost of housing is a child expense, there is nothing remarkable about her using the CS to pay the mortgage. However if she at the edge budget-wise, she won't be able to continue once she has to pay you for half the house.

If you have moved out, you do not continue to pay for anything. You pay child support, that is all. If you continue to pay the mortgage, insurance, taxes, repairs, etc then that is just money out of your pocket that goes down the toilet, it will never be seen again.

If you pay for repairs now, you may get a better price when the home sells, but the value of the house will be split. You could seek to be reimbursed for your costs but that adds a lot of complications and arguing and legal bills as you figure it out and come to a settlement. The cheapest solution is the simplest, sell the house as-is and let the buy worry about repairs.

Of course every situation is different and if you spent $1000 cleaning it up and got $10,000 more in the sale then it is worth it. You have to judge what the repairs are worth. But 9 times out of 10 you won't get the full cost back from the sale.

 

[limer]

Any money given to her should be sent as Child Support. Do not give cash. Money Orders or Cheques with a memo stating for child support.

 

[sixfeetunder]

Yeah i learned the hard way I gave her 500.00 by weekly cash and i requested receipts and she z she had no time don't be so pity , the following week i gave her cash again and bought a receipt book and still no receipt , lawyer advised me to give certified chq or money order and write as suggested Child Support , he advised me to go online and print days i took cash out and circle and write down support and who was there that witness me giving cash , we will see what happens now

 

[lorlaman]

If it's the matrimonial home (you were married, not common law) then it's split 50/50 no matter who paid what.

If she is staying in the home, she pays you half the assessed value of the home. It's up to her where she gets the money.

If you have kids, the kids need a place to live, the cost of housing is a child expense, there is nothing remarkable about her using the CS to pay the mortgage. However if she at the edge budget-wise, she won't be able to continue once she has to pay you for half the house.

If you have moved out, you do not continue to pay for anything. You pay child support, that is all. If you continue to pay the mortgage, insurance, taxes, repairs, etc then that is just money out of your pocket that goes down the toilet, it will never be seen again.

If you pay for repairs now, you may get a better price when the home sells, but the value of the house will be split. You could seek to be reimbursed for your costs but that adds a lot of complications and arguing and legal bills as you figure it out and come to a settlement. The cheapest solution is the simplest, sell the house as-is and let the buy worry about repairs.

Of course every situation is different and if you spent $1000 cleaning it up and got $10,000 more in the sale then it is worth it. You have to judge what the repairs are worth. But 9 times out of 10 you won't get the full cost back from the sale.

Hi Mess,
You mention that "if they are married and not common law" I am in a similar situation and I am commonlaw. I live in the house and pay all the bills, maintenance, mortgage etc. What is the difference? I thought it is still the matrimonial home regardless.

She lives in a basement apartment and pays no CS, I pay SS and its tough to make ends meet with two teenage kids. Now she wants the hose sold after 10 months like this. What claim do I have?

 

[standing on the sidelines]

Hi Mess,
You mention that "if they are married and not common law" I am in a similar situation and I am commonlaw. I live in the house and pay all the bills, maintenance, mortgage etc. What is the difference? I thought it is still the matrimonial home regardless.

She lives in a basement apartment and pays no CS, I pay SS and its tough to make ends meet with two teenage kids. Now she wants the hose sold after 10 months like this. What claim do I have?

whose name is the house in??

 

[Mess]

If you are common law and the house is in your name, then it is your house and she can "want" anything but it's not going to happen.

There is no such thing as a matrimonial home in a common law relationship.

If she has put money or a significant amount of labour into the house, she can seek to be paid back for what she put in. That is fair enough, but you have a right to be anal about the accounting before you pay out.

 

[lorlaman]

The house is in both our names purchased in 2000.
My family lent me alone 150k to put down on the house. She made no contributions whatsoever.
She did not work (sporadically and for very short periods) and has contributed nothing. Our original mortgage was 200k upped to 275k and then again to 325k. Value now is about 550k.

Her lawyer wants to bring a 14A motion to sell the house saying I am interfering with the sale. We received a 525 offer after being on the market for 5 months, which she was willing to sign back at 550 which would net about 530 after RE costs. House was listed at 599,000. I offered her 540 as a buyout and her lawyer rejected it saying he wants an assessment done. To me, 5 months on the market dictated the value regardless what an assessment says. Only worth what some-one is willing to pay.

 

[Mess]

She should get 50% of the increase in value since the house was purchased as a buy out if you want to keep the house. She can insist on assessed value for this.

She didn't put anything into the house so she had no original equity.

What I take from your mortgage amounts, the original price was about $350k. You took out higher mortgages later for unknown purposes. Basicly you borrowed back your down payment, or borrowed against the increased value?

The approximate value now is $550, you initially put in $150k from your family, so after a $325k mortgage you have $75k in asset. Of course this depends on what you would receive in sale and minus costs.

Your basic offer to her would be $37k for a buy-out. If she forces a sale she doesn't get assessed value, she gets whatever the sale price was minus costs.

I would assert this in a letter to her lawyer.

• she didn't pay any equity into the home
• she didn't contribute to the mortgage principal or interest
• she didn't contribute to ongoing costs such as taxes, insurance, maintainence or utilities
• you are willing to forgo calculations of the maintainence etc in order to simplify the settlement, however if she pursues this in court you would expect a full accounting
• she is owed her share of the increase in house value only as she did not contribute to the house financially or otherwise
• any down payment and payments to principal made by you will be deducted off the top from house value
• you are willing to buy her out for 50% of increased value of the house as determined by a licensed assessment; or
• if she seeks to force a sale she will receive 50% of the increased value after costs of sale and your payment into the house have been deducted
• you estimate her share of an assessed value would be approx $35k; her share of a forced sale would be lower
• as an alternative in the interest of a quick settlement in order to reduce costs to both you and her for legal fees you are willing to offer an immediate buy-out for ($40k or whatever you think is fair and you can afford)
• the alternative buy-out will be on the table for 30 days, otherwise the added costs of ongoing legal discussions make this impossible

 

[lorlaman]

Excellent deduction and yes, home was purchased for $357k
The issue we are having here is that she is saying that the 150k down payment was a gift to both of us, which it was most certainly not.

My parents gave me 50k loan with 0% interest. If not repaid, it would be deducted from my inheritance and it is spelled out in their will that I receive 50k less. There is no IOU to my parents. My dad passed away and the 50k is current in the will. My mom is still with us and adamantly supports her original intent; not a gift. The will does not include my ex to get any inheritance and thus I feel, she should not be entitled to the down payment loan.

The other 100k came in the form of a loan from my brother and sister in law. Again, 0% interest and if not repaid, proceeds from inheritance to satisfy, or severance of land proceeds to satisfy, as well as a third option of a law suit I have ongoing for a +250K possible settlement.

She does not seem to care that without the 150k help from my family, we would not have been able to purchase in the first place. But, nothing is fair in love and war.

 

[Mess]

In addition to the points I posted above, I would simply add that the amounts loaned to you from the family can be verified as loans with notarized documents. (Keep the statement simple, you don't have to get into the wording of wills, etc.) State that any further legal action on her part will only drive up her own legal costs, and as you are making a reasonable offer to settle, you would seek costs after winning any court case.

Just be firm and assertive, follow the points I made as appropriate.

Draw your line in the sand and have a reasonable offer on the table and she'll cave. Her lawyer is probably encouraging her to some extent so you need to spell out what this will cost her and why in your letter.