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GoDiegoGo

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Separated 2 years ago, ex moved out and I then received exclusive possession. I offered a buy out right away.

Ex then asked for the house to be sold, judge said no.
Ex asked for her own exclusive possession, judge said no.
Ex asked to buy me out, however she has no money to do it, so judge said no.
Ex finally listened to the judge's advice and is willing to be bought out.

An appraisal was done, and ex didn't agree with the value.
Another appraisal was ordered of my ex's choosing, and she doesn't agree with that either. $3k difference between the 2 appraisals, and I even offered to go with the higher value.
Ex is now asking for a 3rd appraisal.

She is entitled to the current value and current mortgage of her 'asset'. Since my first offer, the equity has gone up $60k. There is no incentive for her to sell, as this will keep going up until she's ready to cash in.

The house has been heavily modified for my disability, so I would prefer to stay. However, at this point I'm not sure what else I can do. I believe the only option left is to sell and move on.

I can let her pick the realtor, amount, etc., but what's to stop her from continuing to delay the sale and not accept any reasonable offer.

Should I do a 3rd appraisal?
Should I be filing for a motion for the court's help in either a buy out or sale?
Should I stop paying the mortgage and let it foreclose?

I appreciate your input!
 
The $3K difference is not even enough to argue over, so not sure why she would bother. If you were to take it to a judge, the judge would likely set the value at the median between the two appraisals and go with that - and between the two of you, you'll have spent more than the $1500 difference just taking it to court.
 
GoDiegoGo said:
Separated 2 years ago, ex moved out and I then received exclusive possession. I offered a buy out right away.

Ex then asked for the house to be sold, judge said no.
Ex asked for her own exclusive possession, judge said no.
Ex asked to buy me out, however she has no money to do it, so judge said no.
Ex finally listened to the judge's advice and is willing to be bought out.

An appraisal was done, and ex didn't agree with the value.
Another appraisal was ordered of my ex's choosing, and she doesn't agree with that either. $3k difference between the 2 appraisals, and I even offered to go with the higher value.
Ex is now asking for a 3rd appraisal.

Definitely not this....silly :)

You know, there comes a time when holding up progress over a miniscule difference, is not worth the aggravation.

Get the 3rd appraisal done to satisfy her desire, and once that is done...if you are able to buy her out, do just that. If not, then just sell the place and move on

She is entitled to the current value and current mortgage of her 'asset'. Since my first offer, the equity has gone up $60k. There is no incentive for her to sell, as this will keep going up until she's ready to cash in.

The house has been heavily modified for my disability, so I would prefer to stay. However, at this point I'm not sure what else I can do. I believe the only option left is to sell and move on.

I can let her pick the realtor, amount, etc., but what's to stop her from continuing to delay the sale and not accept any reasonable offer.

Should I do a 3rd appraisal?
Should I be filing for a motion for the court's help in either a buy out or sale?
Should I stop paying the mortgage and let it foreclose?

I appreciate your input!
Click to expand...

Definitely not this....silly :)

You know, there comes a time when holding up progress over a miniscule difference, is not worth the aggravation.

Get the 3rd appraisal done to satisfy her desire, and once that is done...if you are able to buy her out, do just that. If not, then just sell the place and move on
 
The problem is that she won't agree on the value, even from her own appraiser (who came in $3k less than our first appraisal).

It was ordered before that she get it appraised, we agree on the value, and finish the buy out within 45 days. That was 7 months ago.

I can get a 3rd appraisal, which would most likely come to the same conclusion as the other 2, but there's still nothing to make her agree to it.

I've spent over $1500 on appraisals already.
I've offered current value and current mortgage.
I've offered the higher value of the appraisals.
I'm not taking off any notional fees, realtor/closing costs.

I'm self rep'd, so no costs to me. If I book a motion now, would I most likely get help to set the amount and finalized the equalization - faster than pushing for a quick sale?
 
You have two appraisals done by reputable and certified appraisers who have provided their opinion. Send her a formal offer to buy her out at an amount in the middle of the two appraisals. Should she want a third appraisal, I would reply that she can have one, but it will be done at her expense and that you reserve your right to agree or disagree with the amount.

This may or may not satisfy her. If it turns out she still wants to hold out, advise her that you are going to retain a real estate agent and list the house for the amount provided in the 2nd appraisal.

It may have been modified to suit your needs. But other houses can too. It may be inconvenient, but continuing to get run around by the ex is more inconvenient.
 
HammerDad beat me in response.

GoDiegoGo said:
...
An appraisal was done, and ex didn't agree with the value.
Another appraisal was ordered of my ex's choosing, and she doesn't agree with that either. $3k difference between the 2 appraisals, and I even offered to go with the higher value.
Ex is now asking for a 3rd appraisal...
Click to expand...

I agree that a 3rd appraisal seems uneccessary. Who has paid for the prior two?


GoDiegoGo said:
She is entitled to the current value and current mortgage of her 'asset'. Since my first offer, the equity has gone up $60k. There is no incentive for her to sell, as this will keep going up until she's ready to cash in...
Click to expand...

If this is true though, does she not have to buy you out, at an even higher price then, if she goes that option? It goes both ways.

Did you have your prior offers to settle in writing, that you can use in court? (You mentioned, you offered the higher of the appraisal prices). Seems you're being reasonable, and she is not. Even if you're self-repped, I'm sure there are costs. Like having to provide multiple appraisals. Ask for half of the appraisal costs, towards your costs. (or if you get the 3rd one, like HammerDad said, use his suggestion).

It seems reasonable, that if you had the house greatly modified because of your disability, I think a judge would side with you, in having her buy-out, but if you have to sell, at least it's sold then, and you can get on with things.

(very glad, I did not have to deal with this aspect of family law)
 
I will send another formal offer and let her do another appraisal if need be at her own cost. I paid for the other 2, with the understanding that it will come off the equity.

The problem I foresee is that she doesn't want to agree to a buy out value now, so she most likely won't want to agree to a sale value either as any offer will be seen as too low. Even after a 3rd appraisal, I believe court will be my only option so this doesn't get delayed for another year.

My ex is after anything and everything she can get...
She asking for half the value of all my wheelchairs/equipment/etc, as a "family asset".
Half the value of all my personal care costs and attendant care.
$30k for retraining, along with ongoing spousal support...

We were married 7 years. She has 2 bachelor of science degrees, and worked for 5 out of the 7 years. She claims zero income, while I continue to pay full table child support and interim spousal.

A false sense of entitlement is a powerful feeling to fight off.
 
GoDiegoGo said:
...Even after a 3rd appraisal, I believe court will be my only option so this doesn't get delayed for another year...
Click to expand...

Sometimes, court is the only way to get it done. Perhaps make an offer, then file a motion after to get the ball rolling. The pressure is on her, and sometimes people are more cooperative (or told to be cooperative, by their lawyer) once court is coming up.


GoDiegoGo said:
...
My ex is after anything and everything she can get...
She asking for half the value of all my wheelchairs/equipment/etc, as a "family asset".
Half the value of all my personal care costs and attendant care.
$30k for retraining, along with ongoing spousal support...
Click to expand...

Classy.
 
dad2bandm said:
Sometimes, court is the only way to get it done. Perhaps make an offer, then file a motion after to get the ball rolling. The pressure is on her, and sometimes people are more cooperative (or told to be cooperative, by their lawyer) once court is coming up.
Click to expand...

Good idea.



dad2bandm said:
Classy.
Click to expand...

I haven't received any Accident Benefits settlement yet, but my ex has already gone to court crying about it, that I'll either not accept the full amount or I'll run off and spend it all.

So an order was made that:
1 - Ex agrees that my personal injury lawyer will get the full settlement possible.
2- I cannot accept any settlement without my ex's consent or court order.

The judge already told us that any future income settlement I get, will have to be properly invested and used as my income for support purposes. However, apparently I still need a hc ex's permission first.
 
GoDiegoGo said:
...
We were married 7 years. She has 2 bachelor of science degrees, and worked for 5 out of the 7 years. She claims zero income, while I continue to pay full table child support and interim spousal...
Click to expand...

Has this been spoken to, in prior conferences, or any motions? By either you, or her(or her lawyer)???

Why is an income not being imputed to her? The situation (I do not know the whole situation), seems bizarre.

She won't work, and wants to claim zero income, but expects someone on disability (no offense intended), to provide her income?

She should be imputed, a full-time minimum-wage income, at the very least. I would insist on that.
 
It would be in the children's best interests, if at least one parent is able to be employed full-time, rather that that child being supported on child support payments, derived from a disability pension alone.
 
dad2bandm said:
Has this been spoken to, in prior conferences, or any motions? By either you, or her(or her lawyer)???

Why is an income not being imputed to her? The situation (I do not know the whole situation), seems bizarre.

She won't work, and wants to claim zero income, but expects someone on disability (no offense intended), to provide her income?

She should be imputed, a full-time minimum-wage income, at the very least. I would insist on that.
Click to expand...


Yes, every conference judge (2 cc, 2 sc, and 1 tmc) all said she should have an income imputed of at least min wage. However the motion judge who ordered the support, said she can have zero income for now and will let the trial judge determine the appropriate amount of income to impute.
 
My ex just sent me an email saying that appraisals can be off by 5%, therefore instead of getting another appraisal, we should just add 5% to the amount and settle it now.
Interesting how she added 5% instead of deducting it...

I plan to respond with letting her set up her own appraiser for now, but also provide me with some realtors so I can select one and begin the process of selling the house. If she changes her mind and wants to be bought out, great... if not, at least I'll get rid of this mess and be able to move on.

Leaving this house will be bad for me, making it bad for the children, but I don't think I have a choice when one side is so unreasonable.
 
Did I miss something on the thread? I thought you would by her out based on the value at the date of separation, not the value today.
 
GoDiegoGo said:
My ex just sent me an email saying that appraisals can be off by 5%, therefore instead of getting another appraisal, we should just add 5% to the amount and settle it now.
Interesting how she added 5% instead of deducting it...

I plan to respond with letting her set up her own appraiser for now, but also provide me with some realtors so I can select one and begin the process of selling the house. If she changes her mind and wants to be bought out, great... if not, at least I'll get rid of this mess and be able to move on.

Leaving this house will be bad for me, making it bad for the children, but I don't think I have a choice when one side is so unreasonable.
Click to expand...


She's willing to go with off by 5%? No problem! I'd make an offer 5% lower than the lowest appraisal. ;)
 
paris said:
Did I miss something on the thread? I thought you would by her out based on the value at the date of separation, not the value today.
Click to expand...

I thought it was like that, but even though I've been paying for everything it's still their asset and therefore they're entitled to current value. Judge said if only one person's name is on title or if I didn't get exclusive possession, then it can go by separation date. I still thought it should be separation date mortgage but judge said current mortgage too.
 
GoDiegoGo said:
Yes, every conference judge (2 cc, 2 sc, and 1 tmc) all said she should have an income imputed of at least min wage. However the motion judge who ordered the support, said she can have zero income for now and will let the trial judge determine the appropriate amount of income to impute.
Click to expand...

Well, that sounds promising at least. I would not budge on this. Hopefully, the trial judge will do the same.
 
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